Chapter Text
June 2nd, 2020
Luz waited outside her home, staring down at the sidewalk. A whole month and a half at the most boring camp in the world was going to suck! Her mom thought it would be good for her, but...she just couldn’t. The camp was the opposite of who she was!
Behind her, she heard the front door open as her mom stepped out. “Oh. Oh, my baby.” Camilla Noceda said comfortingly as she came up and hugged Luz. “Now don't worry. Summer camp is only going to be for a month and a half. You’ll be so busy balancing checkbooks and learning tooo…appreciate public radio, the time will fly by.”
That…didn’t help. “But I don’t like any of that stuff.” Luz exclaimed, dejectedly. “I like editing anime clips to music and reading fantasy books with convoluted backstories.” She then added on, more to herself. “And with my looks, I’ll never “fit inside the box” like the camp wants.”
“You’re beautiful the way you are, Mija.” her mother said comfortingly. “And if the people at camp give you any trouble…they’ll regret it.” she threatened.
Camilla had already gotten Principal Hal’s predecessor fired for his discriminatory behavior towards Luz. No one called her daughter “a freak” at a PTA meeting and got away with it. Though towards the end of the investigation into his conduct, he also let slip that he was a raging racist and homophobe. The school board had not been pleased.
“Thanks, mom.” she said. Though in her head she thought. ‘You’re the only one who thinks that.’
Except…that wasn’t the case anymore. Her new friends…her first friends in the chat actually liked how she looked. Mable had even called her pretty, which was a much needed boost to her self confidence.
Her mother continued, “Summer camp is a chance to make some friends but you have to try. Can you do that?”
“Yes, Mom.” she answered sadly. She walked over to their open trash can, and hesitantly placed her copy of The Good Witch Azura inside. The very copy her dad had given to her before he…
At that moment, her mom’s phone buzzed. “Oh, I gotta go to work.” Camilla exclaimed. She came up behind Luz and kissed her forehead. “Your bus is coming soon. Text me when you get there. Te quiero mucho, mija. (I love you very much, sweetie.)”
As she walked away, Luz said “Bye Mom.” The moment she was out of sight, Luz went to grab The Good Witch Azura out of the trach, but it was gone! “W-Where is it?!”
She couldn’t lose that book. It was one of the last connections she had to her dad! She rummaged around to see if it had sunken below the other garbage, but it wasn’t there!
Then in front of her, she heard an…owl hooting? She looked up, and saw the most adorable tiny owl staring right at her. But what caught her eyes was the sack of garbage in its beak, with The Good Witch Azura peeking out the top.
“Hoooot.” the tiny owl trilled. Then it began to hop away into the woods.
“Tiny trash thief!” she shouted as she began to give chase.
She followed it for a minute before the owl hopped into an old abandoned house. This house had been something of an urban legend in the town, and was the source of rumors about sightings of mysterious lights and a hulking monster.
Luz had snuck out here once when she was little, and hadn’t felt creeped out at all. In fact, it felt almost homely to her. She’d gotten in big trouble though, so she never returned, until now that is.
The tiny owl hopped through the front door, and without a second thought Luz followed him inside.
“Stop adorably hopping away, you…Huh?” she began to say, but she stopped when she realized that she wasn’t inside an old dilapidated house, but a tent filled with junk. “Woah, I thought I had a lot of weird stuff. But this–” she said as she picked up a pink plastic clothes hanger that went through a doll head that was attached to the body of a stuffed crocodile, with its left arm replaced with a fork. “–this is impressive.”
“Finally, you’re back!” A voice called out, causing Luz to drop the weird doll thing that may or may have not moved on its own a second before. She cautiously walked over to the tent flap and peeked out. “Now, let’s see what we’ve got here.”
The owl she had followed landed on top of a wooden pole. Then an unnaturally pale hand reached out and screwed the owl on, turning it into wood.
It was then Luz got a look at the woman, she had golden irises and long bushy grey hair. She was wearing a red dress, and, and wearing a spotted green kerchief.
“Garbage,” the woman spoke as she pulled out a smart phone, before she proceeded to throw it away.
“Garbage,” she said again as she pulled out a ring with a massive diamond affixed to the top. Once again she threw it away.
“Garbage” This time she pulled out a chalice made of actual gold that was glowing. Like before, she threw it away.
She then gasped, and pulled a pair of novelty glasses with springy eyes out of the sack. “Now this… This will make me rich.” she declared confidently. She then picked up the Good Witch Azura book, and held it over a lit candle. “And this… Uh, this'll make good kindling.”
Before she could burn her book, Luz leapt out of the tent and grabbed it. “Excuse me. Sorry, that's mine. Thank you.” she rattled off quickly. She then turned and ran back for the door. But before she could enter, it folded into a brief case.
“You’re not going anywhere.” the woman said in a tone that sounded threatening.
With her escape cut off, Luz lifted the bottom of the tent, crawled out, and started to run…only to screech to a halt as she saw a medieval looking city spliced with something out of the Cthulhu Mythos.
A massive hand shot up in the distance and grabbed a dragon. On the ground, she saw beings that most people would only see in nightmares…or an acid trip.
As she began to panic, she saw a small fairy hovering next to her. “Oh, hello, little fairy. Are you going to tell me this is all a fantastical dream?”
Instead of that, the fairy revealed a maw of sharp teeth and shouted, “GIVE ME YOUR SKIN!”
Luz shrieked and swatted it down like a bug. “Where am I? Did I die? Am I in the bad place?!” she asked aloud.
Just then a pale white hand grabbed onto her shoulder. “You wish.” the woman said, before dragging her back to the tent.
Luz shut her eyes in fear, and rambled out quickly, “I’m so sorry! I just wanted my book! If you’re gonna eat my skin, just make it quick. Just do it now!”
“Eat you? Why would I eat a potential customer?!” the woman asked.
“Weh?” she exclaimed in confusion. The teen opened her eyes, and saw a sign reading ‘Human Collectibles’ above the woman’s head.
“Can I offer you a human foot filled with holes?” She pulled out a lime green croc. She put it away and pulled out a stick of men’s deodorant. “A bar of green human candy?” Then she pulled out a small portable TV. “How about this black shadowbox that reflects only sadness?”
…None of that was even remotely close, causing Luz to laugh. “That’s not all it can do. Here, let me see it.”
She got two AA batteries out of a bowl labeled ‘Human Candy’ (none of which were actually candy) and popped them into the TV. Some old workout video began to play, which quickly attracted a crowd.
“I’ll pay forty snails for the screaming box!” a three eyed lizard man shouted.
“I’ll give you a hundred!” a bat-like man shouted.
“Can I eat the tiny person inside?” a four eyed orange pig man asked.
The crown began to shout over each other as they all bided over the TV. The woman turned to Luz and asked. “What did you say your name was?” she asked.
“I’m Luz. Luz Noceda.” she introduced herself.
“Well, Luz,” the woman spoke as she collected cash from the crowd. “That was pretty clever. For a Human.” she added at the end.
“That’s kind of a weird thing for another human to say.” Luz said.
The woman smirked. “Oh dear child,” She then pulled off the kerchief with a dramatic flourish to reveal long pointed ears. “I’m not like you.” She climbed onto the table. “I’m Eda the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles!” the now identified Eda exclaimed.
“A witch?!” Luz asked with stars in her eyes. Witches were real!
Eda continued, “I am respected, feared–”
“BUSTED!” was shouted as an arm slammed down on the TV, crushing it. The crowd all immediately ran away from the newcomer in a bird-like mask. He then pulled out a wanted poster depicting Eda and a small creature. “Eda the Owl Lady, you are wanted for misuse of magic and demonic misdemeanors!”
“Weh! Witch criminal!” Luz exclaimed in awe.
The guard continued. “You are hereby ordered to come with me to the Conformatorium!”
Eda yanked her arm free, and shouted back, “Would you guys quit following me around? I haven’t broken any of your laws…in front of you.”
The guard then grabbed Luz by her hoodie and lifted her up, causing her to yelp. “And you’re coming too! For fraternizing with a criminal!”
She was aghast at this. No wonder the customers ran. “What?! That’s a load of–”
“All right, all right, you win.” Eda placated. “Just let me get my stuff…”
She reached down, then suddenly rose with her staff and smacked the guard across his head. He fell to the ground, knocked out cold. She quickly used her magic to pack up the stand, then grabbed a key with an eye on it from out of her hair. She clicked the button, and the folded up door Luz had entered through appeared in her hand.
“Follow me, human!” Eda shouted as she began to run. Not having another option, Luz gave chase.
“This is crazy!” Luz exclaimed. “If I die here, my mom’s gonna kill me!”
Eda let out a scoff. “I won’t let them hurt you. A human like you is much more valuable to me alive than dead.” she informed her.
“Wait, what is that supposed to–” Luz began to ask. However, before she could finish Eda shouted “WOOO”, grabbed Luz by her wrist, then took off into the air on her staff.
Luz held onto the staff like a koala with an iron clad grip. One wrong move and she could fall off and then she’d be kaput!
“Flying staffs, crazy monsters, you’re a witch! What is this place?!” she asked as Eda picked her up and placed her back onto her staff.
“This is the Boiling Isles.” Eda explained. As she did, Luz looked out at the landscape in awe. Red trees and grass, bone-white spikes of…something as tall as mountains. Actually, they did look a lot like rib bones. But Eda continued her explanation before Luz could give it too much thought. “Every myth you humans have is caused by a little of our world leaking into yours.”
Just then, a creature flew by and screeched. “A griffin!” Luz exclaimed happily. It then opened its beak, unleashing its spider breath. Lu’s already wide grin only grew. “Viiindiiicaaatiooon!” she shouted.
“Yep, griffins, vampires, giraffes…” Eda rattled off.
“Giraffes?”
“Oh yeah. We banished those guys. Bunch of freaks.” That was…certainly information.
Luz asked, “What about Gnomes?”
“What’s a Gnome?” was Eda’s response.
“Okay, so not every myth.” she shrugged.
As they flew through the air, Luz felt…she couldn’t describe it. At peace? Content? Full? It was all of those, and yet none of them at the same time. The closest she could get was it was akin to putting on clothes fresh out of the dryer after being out in the cold. Even the smell of sulfur that permeated the air was great!
Luz discreetly pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of the landscape, which she then sent to the chat.
Luz uploaded isles.png
Ferb: Woah.
Anne: What the heck?!
Dipper: I thought you were just going to camp?! Where are you?!
Luz: Can’t talk now. I’ll tell you guys later.
Soon after, the flight came to an end. They descended through the trees and landed on a path just inside a forest. Eda hopped off the staff, but as Luz looked to her left she saw Eda’s severed hand still grasping on. Then the hand moved. She screamed and reeled back, causing her to fall off.
“Oops, that happens sometimes.” Eda said as she screwed her hand back on.
Luz stood back up. This was all…a lot. “Well, I’ve had enough adventure for today. This is clearly not the PG fantasy world I always dreamed about, so can you help me get back home?”
“Only if you help me first.” Eda responded, followed by a snorting laugh. She then used her magic to lift the sack that contained her stand, and began walking down the path. “Now come along human.” she beckoned.
After less than a minute of walking, they exited the forest. In front of them stood a large home with a massive stained glass window in the shape of an eye. A stone tower was attached to the back. It was amazing!
“Woah…” Luz exclaimed as she laid her eyes on it. But at the same time, she was apprehensive. They weren’t that far away from the market. What if they were followed? “Aren’t you worried about those guards finding us?”
“Nope. My house has a state-of-the–art defense system.” Eda proclaimed.
Luz turned and saw…an owl head in place of a door knocker.
“Hoot hoot, password please.” the owl spoke in a grating high-pitched voice.
“Weh! What…is…that?” Luz asked, unnaturally weirded out by the owl thing.
That was the wrong move, as she drew it’s attention. “NEW FRIEND!” it screeched. It then stretched out of the doorway. “HI I’M HOOTY! What’s yooour name?” The bird tube was about to wrap around her and Eda, when the Owl Lady poked it in the eyes. “OW!”
“We got no time for this, Hooty. Let us in.” Eda demanded.
“All right all right, geez! You never want to have any fun.” Hooty said, clearly upset. “Ow! Hoot.” As if things couldn’t get any weirder, Hooty opened his beak which became the entrance way. Eda casually walked in, though Luz was hesitant to follow and took a few seconds longer. Hooty then closed his beak and burped.
“Was that a Lovecraftian horror?” Luz asked.
“I don’t know what that is, but Hooty’s probably it.” Eda said with a shrug. “Any who, welcome to the Owl House!” Eda snapped her fingers, lighting up the room. “Where I hide away from the pressures of modern life… Also the cops… Also ex-boyfriends.”
“This place is beautiful.” Luz complimented as she gazed up at the intricate owl carving on the ceiling. “Do you live here all alone?” Just then, the house shook as thunderous footsteps echoed out from down the hall.
“Actually, I have a roommate.” Eda responded.
An imposing shadow slowly appeared on the wall as the roommate approached. “Who dares intrude upon I…” A deep voice began. Then an utterly adorable tiny dog-like demon with a skull on his head appeared. He was wrapped in a towel and holding a rubber duck. “The King of Demons?” he finished, his voice having pitched up quite a few octaves. He then squeezed the duck which squeaked.
Luz’s eyes lit up. “AY QUÉ LINDO!” she shouted as she ran over and scooped the little demon up in her arms. “Eda, he's so cute! Who’s a widdle guy? Who’s a widdle guy? Is it you? Is it you?”
King was not happy about this, and began to struggle in an attempt to escape. “NO! I don’t know who your little guy is! Eda, who is this monster?!”
Eda had to physically separate the human from the demon by pulling Luz back. “This is Luz, the human. She’s here to help us with our little situation.
At once, King’s mood did a one-eighty. “Oh, hooray!” he cheered.
“Wait, wait, wait. I don’t like the sound of this “situation”.” she said nervously.
“J-just, let me explain.” Eda urged. She casted a golden spell circle in front of her, which began to depict stylized images of a demon like King. “King was once a mighty king of demons, until his crown of power was stolen, and he became…this.”
“You mean this little bundle of joy?” Luz asked, once more holding King up to her face.
Eda continued. “The crown is being held by the evil Warden Wrath, and locked away behind a magic force field that only a human can break through. A human like you.” She then dispelled the images as she finished the story.
“If you help us retrieve his crown, we’ll send you back to your realm. So what do you say?” Eda then lifted King up by the head “Plus, who could say no to this cute face?”
“No! Please don’t encourage her!” King pleaded as he squirmed in her grasp which inevitably caused Eda to drop him. “Weh.” he exclaimed as he hit the ground.
Before Luz had a chance to answer, Eda added on, “I mean, we’re kinda your only way home.”
“So I don’t really have a choice, do I?” she asked rhetorically. Though even if she had a choice, she would still do it for King. He was just so cute! There was also this pull towards him that made her want to help him at all costs. Though his story did raise some alarm bells in her head, even she couldn’t place way. “Okay, I’ll do it!”
“Great! Now we’ve got no time left to lose!” Eda exclaimed as she rushed Luz out of the Owl House.
Behind them, King picked up his rubber duck. “Soon Mr. Ducky, we shall drink the fear of those who mocked us!”
“Where are we going?” Luz asked.
“Somewhere super fun!” Eda exclaimed.
It was in fact, not somewhere super fun. It was the complete opposite of that. It was a prison.
“Man, talk about gloomy.” Luz commented.
“I’ve commanded worse.” King shrugged off from atop her head.
“The Conformitorium, a place for those considered "unsuitable" for society.” Eda said.
Luz then spotted another wanted poster for Eda, which she took off the wall to get a better look at. The promised reward was astronomical, so much so that she highly doubted it would be paid out if someone ever managed to claim it.
“Woah, these guys really have the hots for you.” she joked, trying to lighten the mood.
Eda smirked. “Yep. But we were never caught because we’re too slippery.”
King then added, "Try to catch me when I’m covered in grease. I’m a squirmy little fella. Weh.” He then slipped and fell off Luz’s head. “You and I will sneak up to the top of the tower where they’re holding my crown.” he said while pointing to the aforementioned tower.
“And I’m gonna make sure the warden’s distracted.” Eda finished.
“Will I need a disguise?” Luz asked excitedly. Before Eda or King could answer, she continued. “I’ve been waiting to use this!” she exclaimed as she pulled her hood over her head, revealing it to have cat ears sewn onto it. “Meow, Meow.”
“...it’s hideous.” King harshly commented.
“Oh you’ll fit right in.” Eda said with a small smile. The witch summoned a platform of magic under Luz and King, which began to rise into the air. “Hang on tight!” The platform then quickly began to move through the air towards the tower.
When they reached a window they could enter through, the platform under them dissipated. Luz quickly reached out and grabbed onto the window ledge before she fell with King wrapped around the back of her head like a cat. Though he quickly leapt off her head and inside.
“Meet you guys at the top of the tower.” Eda informed them as she flew away to cause some mayhem.
Luz pulled herself up and through the window, only to immediately faceplant onto the floor.
“Ha ha, cats don’t do that.” King mocked.
She let out a frustrated sigh as she stood back up. So far breaking into a prison hadn’t been all it was hyped up to be. The human and demon began to cautiously make their way through the prison, gawking at the dozens and dozens of cells that lined the walls across multiple levels.
“Hey, cat lady.” A voice from a nearby cell called out. Luz turned to see a dark haired witch with pronounced fangs and green eyes. “How’d you get out of your cell?” she asked.
“Oh, no, no, no. I’m not a cat.” She pulled down her hood to show they were fake ears. “Also I’m not a criminal.”
“Not yet, you’re not.” King helpfully added with maybe a bit too much excitement.
“Neither are we!” the witch protested. “The stupid warden likes to lock people up who don’t fit in. Like, I write fan fiction of food falling in love. I like food, I like love, just let me write about it!”
From the cell next to hers, a demon with three eyes but five eye sockets piped in. “I’m here because I like eating my own eyes. “He did just that, and it rolled back into his head.
“WE AWE AGENTS OF FWEE EXPWESSION!” a tiny demon whose head was mostly a nose shouted.
“Yeah, she’s really big into conspiracy theories.” the witch explained.
“MONOTWEMES FIGHT EVIL! THE TWIANGLE CWAVES CHAOS! THE MACHINE GOD SEEKS CONQUEST AND DESTWUCTION! THE END OF OUR WOWLD WILL SOON BE UPON US! ANOTHEW DIMENSION’S CAT IS THE BANE OF GODS AND ELDWITCH NIGHTMAWES!” she shouted.
“Wait. These aren’t crimes. None of you actually did anything wrong!” she said angrily. This hit far too close to home for her, and it made her angry. Unseen by Luz, her irises shined ever so slightly in response. “You’re all just a bunch of weirdos…like me.”
Suddenly, there were heavy footsteps that shook the floor, and they were fast approaching. Dread permeated the air. A cold chill ran down Luz’s spine.
“It’s Warden Wrath. Hide.” the witch warned.
Luz and King quickly ducked into an open cell and closed the gate. Luckily the levers on the outside were what locked them, so she hadn't just trapped them. The door to the left slammed open, and a massive demon in a plague doctor-like mask entered.
“I can hear you.” he drawled as he fully entered. “Just what are you fools whispering about?” Just then he stepped on the wanted poster of Eda, which Luz had dropped in her scramble to hide. “Ah, the Owl Lady.” Warden Wrath’s arm morphed into a hammer, which he slammed into the gate of the cell Luz and King were hiding in. “I’ll get my hands on her soon enough.” he declared.
He looked into the cell containing Luz and King, but before he could get a good look at who was in there, Tiny Nose began to shout. “Fight against the oppwessow! We will wesist! We will conquew! We will nevew be afwaid of you, you old cweep!” Wrath stared down at her, then raised the lever and opened her cell. “Hooway, I’m fwee!” she cheered.
Only for it to be cut short as Warden Wrath grabbed her with excessive force. “Let this be a lesson to all of you. There’s no place in society for you if you can’t fit in!” he threatened. Then he marched out with Tiny Nose in tow.
As soon as the door slammed closed, Luz lifted the cell bars and rushed over to the lever of the witches cell. None of them belonged here, and she wasn’t just going to let them stay here where they were at the Warden’s mercy! She tried to lift it, but it just wouldn’t budge.
“NO! My weak nerd arms.” she lamented, but refused to stop trying.
“Just get out of here while you still can, kid.” the witch said in an utterly defeated tone. She was resigned to remain here, forever.
“NEVER!” Luz shouted, catching the witch, the eyeball eater, and King off guard. “None of you belong here! And I. Won’t. Leave. You. HERE!”
As she said the last word, her eyes flashed gold, and the lever went up. Not only did it go up, she pushed hard enough that it snapped like a dry twig and flew into the air where it embedded into the bottom of the floor above.
“Weh?!” Luz and King both exclaimed in shock.
“Woah.” the witch exclaimed.
“I…How?” She wasn’t that strong. Was that...magic? Could she do magic?! Oh, that would be a dream come true–
“We gotta go! My crown awaits!” King interrupted her thoughts.
“But what about the other–” she tried to insist, but the witch cut her off.
“I’ll get them. You go do what you came here for.” she insisted. “And good luck.”
“Thanks…uhhh…” She realized that she never got her name.
The witch picked up on that, and introduced herself. “I’m Kayta.”
“I’m Luz.” she responded in kind.
“Hurry.” King whined from atop her head.
Not wanting to keep the multiverse’s cutest demon waiting any longer, Luz took off towards the vault. It wasn’t that hard to find as there was a giant door with the word “CONTRABAND” engraved into it.
Right outside the door, they ran into Eda. “Hey I just checked. The warden is distracted tormenting some tiny creature. He won’t be coming around here any time soon.” the Owl Lady said.
Oh, right. The excitement over her potential magic made her briefly forget about how the warden was arresting people just because they were weirdos that didn’t fit in his mold.
“My crown. It’s close. I can sense its power!” King declared as he scurried over to the door. He leapt up onto the door handle and frantically began trying to turn it with his whole body.
“Aww, he gets so cute when he’s thirsty for power.” Eda commented, but Luz couldn’t appreciate it at the moment.
“It’s not fair that they’re all in here.” Luz said. “They just wanted to be themselves. Why does everyone think that being a weirdo is so bad?”
Before Eda could answer, King flung the doorknob to the ground where it landed at their feet. He had somehow managed to completely pry it out of the socket. He let out a mischievous little laugh as he pushed the door open and bolted inside.
Eda began to walk forward. “Come on,” she let out an exasperated sigh. “Before he hurts himself.”
At that moment, they heard King yelp “OW!” from within.
As Luz entered the room, she saw a column of light in the center that reached from the ground all the way to the ceiling. King once again rushed forward and headbutted the barrier, only to bounce right off it.
“We have a human, remember?” Eda reminded the little Demon as he picked himself.
“Oh yeah!” King happily exclaimed.
Okay, this was her moment. Luz took a deep breath to steel her nerves, then walked over to the barrier. She placed a hand on it, and felt resistance. She pushed harder, and it felt like trying to push two magnets of the same polarity together through really thick mud.
She strained herself further, grunting and pushing forward. She managed to push her hand through, then her arm up to the elbow. Suddenly, a flash of light erupted and threw her back.
“Huh, well that wasn’t supposed to happen.” Eda commented. Luz was a human, the barrier should have been nothing more than a bright patch of air to her.
Luz picked herself up and tried again. This time she shoulder charged the barrier, successfully wedging her body partly inside. From there she was able to push more than half her body through, and then the light erupted again. Though this time, she was thrown inside.
“Made it!” she cheered as she picked herself back up. She looked up, and on top of the pile sat a crown. Except… “Wait a second. Is that a…” She climbed the pile, and sure enough, it was a cardboard crown from Burger Queen. She knew something about that story had seemed off!
She slid back down and went to once again push through the barrier, only for it to collapse instantly. A safety mechanism to ensure no one trapped themselves inside on accident.
She handed the crown to King, who immediately began to hop in delight. “My crown! Yes, yes! I can feel my powers returning!” he put it on his head, and immediately went over and picked up a stuffed rabbit in the pile of confiscated goods.’ You there. Nightmare critter. I shall call you Francois, and you shall be a minion in my army of darkness!”
“That crown doesn’t give him any power, does it?” Luz asked, unimpressed.
“Uh, no.” Eda confirmed. “Look at us, Luz. King and I don’t have much in this world. We only have each other. So if that dumb crown is important to him, it’s important to me. And besides, us weirdos have to stick together, you know.”
Luz smiled. It was a nice sentiment. Plus she couldn’t be too mad about it all, as King looked so happy. It reminded her of how she used to play with her own toys in the exact same way.
“Well we owe you one. Now let’s get out of here before the warden finds us and loses his head.” Eda exclaimed.
“Too late.” The voice of Warden Wrath spoke from behind.
In a flash, his arm – which had been morphed into a blade – swung down and beheaded Eda. Her head flew off her neck and landed in Luz’s arms, who promptly screamed in horror.
Though before she could freak out any further, Eda yelled, “Ow! Oh, I hate it when that happens.”
Luz screamed again. “Eda! Are you…okay?!”
“Yeah. This just happens when you get older.” she said in a tired voice.
“Does it?” the teen asked in a horrified voice. Was that a thing for witches? They could just detach their body parts when they got old!
“Finally.” Warden Wrath spoke. “I have you cornered, Eda the Owl Lady.” He began to walk towards Luz, but not before he took the crown off King’s head, who let out a surprised “Weh”. “My guards could never get you, but I knew if I took your pet’s toy, you’d come running. He then dropped King’s crown, and crushed it under his boot.
“NO! My power!” King wailed in sadness. Okay, now Luz was pissed. She glared up at the imposing demon.
“What do you want with me?!” Eda shouted. “I’ve never broken any of your stupid laws…in front of you.”
“I want you…” Suddenly, the warden produced a bouquet of flowers from…somewhere. “To go out with me.”
“Wha…?/What?” Eda and Luz respectively exclaimed.
“Go get ‘em boss!” a guard from the side shouted encouragingly. Wrath turned back and gave the guard a thumbs up.
“You’ve always alluded our capture. You’ve always been the one who got away. I found that alluring.” he confessed.
Luz grimaced. “I hate everything you’re saying right now.” she deadpanned.
“YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!” Wrath yelled.
His hand turned into a mass of tendrils ,which he sent surging towards Luz. They crashed into the teen, causing her to drop Eda’s head. They then proceeded to wrap around her torso. Wrath lifted her into the air.
“So how about it, Owl Lady?” He bent down and picked up her head by her hair. “The most powerful witch of the Boiling Isles and the feared Warden Wrath. We’d be the strongest power couple ever. I mean, it’s not like you can say no right now.”
Eda took stock of the situation. Luz was struggling to get out of his grasp, and a guard had picked up King who also struggled to break free.
She let out a sigh. “Oh all right, warden. You win.” she said with faux defeat. “I’d just like to say something first. Come closer.” The warden brought her a few inches closer to his face. “No. Just come a little bit closer.” He did so, and now she was inches away. “Yeah, that’s good.”
She then sucked in a sharp breath, then blew a raspberry in his face. Wrath stumbled back, dropping Luz in the process, who fell to the ground.
While Eda laughed, Wrath got angry. “Impudent wench! Don’t you know how many germs are in your mouth? Eugh.”
“Get over it!” Eda loudly retorted. “You had your guards stalk me and then you cut off my head! I am not going out with you!”
“If you don’t accept, then I have no choice but to–” Wrath didn’t get to finish as Luz slammed Eda’s staff over the back of his head, knocking him to the ground.
Eda let out a soft chuckle. “Niiice!” The two guards in the room tried to intervene, but her body grabbed their hoods and yanked them down over their heads.
“Okay we’re going now!” Luz yelled as she grabbed Eda’s head and body, as well as King. She got them all on the staff, but it just hovered there. “Expecto flying? Magicus Escapicus!”
Behind them, Warden Wrath began to stand up. Eda shouted, “Gun it, magic stick!” The staff took off at the command, flying them towards freedom.
But from behind… “Owl Lady, I won’t let you get away again!” Wrath declared as both his arms morphed into masses of tendrils. He used them to quickly pull himself forward in pursuit.
As they flew through the prison, they saw all the cells on the level had been opened. A second later, they burst out the front door, with Warden Wrath hot on their heels. He sent his left arm surging forward, which slammed into the trio and knocked them off the staff. They fell down into a massive pit in front of the Conformitorium. As Wrath landed, his hands morphed back into a blade.
“Ow, my bones.” King groaned.
“Luz, go back to the human world.” Eda urged. She reached into her hair and pulled out the portal key. She then gave it to Luz, and rushed off to face down Wrath.
“What about you guys?” Luz asked in concern.
King replied. “If you think this guy is bad, you should have seen her last boyfriend.”
“Not my boyfriend.” Eda corrected as she dodged slashes. She had to quickly grab King and dive out of the way as Wrath slammed both blades down on their position. She ran over to Luz and put her on her staff, shouting “Go! Go!”
Luz began to protest, but it was cut off by the staff flying back up and away from the fighting.
Seeing the human escape made Wrath angry. He took off his mask, revealing he had no visible eyes or a nose, only a mouth filled with fangs. He opened wide and unleashed his breath of fire. Eda quickly redirected it right back at him! It crashed into his chest and flung him back until he crashed into the pit’s wall.
Instead of fleeing, Luz flew the staff back into the prison. There she quickly found Kayta, the eyeball eater, and Tiny Nose. Though for some reason, they weren’t making a break for it.
“Why are you guys just standing there? This is your chance to escape.” Luz urged.
“The warden will catch us. He always does.” the eyeball eater said sadly.
“We belong here.” Kayta added.
“Self-doubt is a pwison you can nevew escape fwom.” Tiny Nose mumbled, and they all murmured in agreement.
“So you have a different way of doing things; a different way of seeing things. That may make you weird, but it also makes you awesome!” Luz encouraged. The words came easy to her, as they were always what she had wanted to hear. “Don’t you see it?”
“Why are you helping us?” Kayta asked.
“Because us weirdos have to stick together!” Luz declared, her eyes once again beginning to glow. She hopped onto the staff. “And nobody should be punished for who they are!” Her words finally reached the escapees, who began to cheer. “Now let’s get them!”
They dove into the fray just before Wrath could slam his blade hands down on Eda. The former prisoners tackled the warden, while Luz followed behind on the staff, cheering for them.
“I eat my own eyes!” the eyeball eater yelled as he shoved Wrath.
“I think the wowld is a twiangle!” Tiny Nose shouted as she used her small body to trip him.
“And I practice the ancient art of fan fiction!” Kayta announced as she pinned him down.
With Warden Wrath pinned, the other two escapees grabbed his tendrils and tied them together. They then flipped him onto his stomach and all pinned him on the ground. Wrath opened and began to charge a fire blast.
“Who do you think you are?!” Wrath snarled.
Luz descended on the staff and landed in front of him. “Do not underestimate me, Warden Wrath, for I am Luz, the human, warrior of peace…” After a dramatic pause, Luz retrieved fireworks from her backpack that she’d planned to be the act three closer for her book report. “NOW EAT THIS SUCKA!”
She threw them into the air, then leapt up and batted them with Eda’s staff into Wrath’s open mouth. The fire he’d been charging caused them to explode in his face. As they flew into the air and went off, the injured Warden scampered away.
“Whoo-hoo! We won! Yes!” Luz and the escapees cheered.
As Eda and King walked up to Luz, the little demon said, “That was actually one of her better break ups.”
“Not a breakup.” Eda corrected again. “Anyways, let’s bounce before any more monsters fall in love with me.”
Together, they all climbed onto Eda’s staff and flew away from the Conformitorium, the once gloomy sky now alight with fireworks.
Back at the Owl House, Eda set down her staff and turned to Luz.
“Well, a deal’s a deal. Let’s get you back home.” she said. She snapped her fingers and the key soared from Luz’s bag to Eda’s waiting hand. She clicked the glass eye, and the portal door unfolded.
Luz was…kinda bummed. Today had been crazy, but it had also been fun! She turned back to face Eda and King, and saw King had a sad look in his eyes.
“Before I go…” She walked up to the little demon and pulled out a figure of Azura she had with her. She removed the crown from around Azura’s hat and handed it to King. “I know it’s not the same, but a king shouldn’t be without a crown.”
The little demon gingerly took the tiny crown and placed it atop his head. “This…shall suffice.” He then immediately turned to a potted plant in the corner of the room. “You there, plant! You are now under my command.” he said while trotting off.
“Oh, and don’t forget this.” Eda said, grabbing Luz’s attention.
She handed her The Good Witch Azura, which had started this whole thing. And under the book was the pamphlet for Camp Reality Check. She stared down at the image of a kid literally fitting into a box. She shifted it back under The Good Witch Azura.
Luz looked up at the portal door, but out of the corner of her vision she spotted a mirror on the wall. She gasped as she raised her copy of her favorite book in front of it. Azura stood at the center, with a small dog-like demon to the left and her old mentor in red to the right. Then she slowly lowered it to see it mirrored in real life with King to the left and Eda to the right.
She turned back to face Eda. “Okay, I know you got your head cut off, and we started some kind of prison riot, but this was the most fun I ever had.” she explained. “I don’t fit in at home. You don’t fit in here. If I stay, we could not fit in together.” She then took out the pamphlet and crushed it in her hand. “I am not going back to summer camp.”
Eda looked confused. “What’s summer camp? What are we talking about here?” she asked.
“I want to stay here and become a witch like you and Azura.” She presented the book for emphasis.
“What?” Eda said with a chuckle. She pushed the book down. “All right, that’s crazy. Humans can’t become witches.”
That did nothing to deter Luz. “Maybe that’s because they haven’t tried. If you teach me to become a witch, I’ll do anything you want.” She then added, “Also I’m pretty sure I did magic during the prison riot before we met back up.”
“Let her stay.” King chimed in. He then whispered, “She can make us snacks.”
Eda considered it for a moment. The idea that Luz had magic was absurd. Unless…
The Owl Lady smiled. “Well I could use a hand in keeping this goofball out of the cupboards.” As she said this, she picked up King. “All right, I’ll teach you how to be a witch. But you have to work for me before you learn any spells. Deal?” Eda reached out for a handshake…
Only for Luz to wrap her and King in a bear hug.
“What’s going on?”
“Too tight! Too tight!”
Luz: And that’s the end.
Phineas: Wow.
Anne: And here I thought Dipper and Mabel were going to have the craziest summer.
Mabel: It’s only day 2! We got a lot more crazy in store!
Dipper: Yeah!
Luz: I still can’t believe it! My lifelong dream of becoming a witch will finally come true! If this is a dream, DO NOT WAKE ME!
Ferb: And to think this morning started off with us quoting Avatar.
Luz: “So what do we do now?” “Think about our place in the universe?”
Luz: So what happened with you guys today?
Anne: School. Boring old school.
Phineas: Tomorrow is our final day of school. Today we had the end of year science fair.
Ferb: Which we won.
Dipper: Not surprising given you invented a new type of energy.
Dipper: Nothing that exciting happened on our end.
Mable: We worked in the Shack and watched Ducktective.
Mabel: But who cares, show us a picture of this King of Demons!
Luz uploaded king.jpg
Mabel: OH MY GOD HE’S SO CUTE!!!
Anne: Look at his little bunny!
Dipper: I want to hug him.
Phineas: He’s adorable!
Ferb: 💕💕💕
Luz: He’s the cutest despot in two worlds.
Luz: Anyways, today wiped me out. I’m going to bed now. Night!
Luz has logged off
Luz was just about to put down her phone when it buzzed with another message. She opened it to see that it was from her mom.
Mami: How’s summer camp?
From the doorway, she heard King clear his throat. She looked up and saw him holding onto Francois. “Your sleep cocoon looks comfy.”
Luz smiled and patted the sleeping bag. King happily scoured over and made himself comfortable, walking in a circle three times like a dog before snuggling up with Francois.
Luz turned back to her phone.
Luz: I think I’m gonna like it here.
While Luz and King slept peacefully, Eda remained awake in her nest. Her thoughts kept going back to Luz. All the signs were there
No human she’d ever met had fangs, gold irises, or natural purple hair. And if the kid was right about having done magic, well that was a whole other can of worms. While she could have written it off as something small, Luz’s struggle to get past the barrier cemented an idea in her head.
Luz wasn’t entirely human.
Whether she was part witch or part demon, or even both, she couldn’t be sure. Not without testing for it. Though to do that, she’d have to tell the kid about her suspicions, and her reaction to the Isle made it clear she had no knowledge of them. So she probably didn't know that one of her parents was a demon.
Oh boy, that was going to be a fun conversation to have tomorrow.