Chapter Text
“Can I get you anything Hyunjinnie?” Jeongin asked, getting to his feet to fetch a snack. Hyunjin shook his head and watched him walk into the kitchen. Jisung and Seungmin were sitting on the other couch not far from him but Jeongin didn’t offer to get them anything and neither made any move to get up.
They were hovering. They weren’t even being particularly subtle about it, Hyunjin mused. It had been almost a month since his and Felix’s live and they’d hardly had time to themselves. Jisung was splitting his time between all three of their residences, his stuff divided between Changbin and Minho’s apartment and Felix and Hyunjin’s house, and then he crashed at Chan’s at least one night a week after spending too much time at the studio. He was planning to move in with Changbin and Minho but was dragging his feet about actually committing to it. Jeongin had bought his own place and was moving in at a literal snail’s pace, moving one box of stuff every three or four days. Seungmin was the only one who hadn’t made any moves to move out and ironically, he gave them the most space. Aside from how often he just happened to be in the same room with Felix while he worked, of course. Hyunjin was pretty sure they didn’t even talk most of those times, just quietly coexisted in the same room. Without the convenient excuse of living in their house, the hyungs came up with reasons to stop by or call every day. Changbin was especially guilty of that, popping up almost every day. While Hyunjin appreciated it, he was also starting to chafe under it. They had nothing on their schedules today, no dance rehearsals or studio time scheduled, and still he couldn’t get any space from them.
The reaction to their coming out hadn’t even been that bad, sure there had been some backlash but from what he could tell public opinion was still decidedly in their favor. In Felix’s mental calculations between best and worst case scenarios, they’d ended up somewhere better than expected but still shy of that best case option. Hyunjin was a little glad Felix had been slightly pessimistic because it let them be pleasantly surprised rather than disappointed. There were a few significant concerns, especially on the business side of things, but personally, they were doing alright.
The divide in responses was clearest in geography; western fans were largely supportive while Koreans, and other Asian fans, had been more lukewarm in their reaction. Hyunjin almost preferred the response from Korean fans, truthfully; though not as effusive and supportive, it felt more honest. Because as much as international fans were happy for them, and celebrated them, they were also trying to turn them into some sort of cultural figure heads. He’d seen fan campaigns for other idols to come out, using the two of them as examples, which neither of them appreciated. They didn’t want to be spokesmen for the queer community, or paradigms of changing idol culture, they had just wanted to be honest.
Beyond geography, there was a further divide generationally, particular in Korea. While the overall response had been mildly positive if not effusive, it was due largely to mostly younger fans. They were the ones who were more likely to be loudly supportive of them and their right to have public relationships which he appreciated. Of course, there were others who had called for Hyunjin and Felix to leave the group or else face a total Stray Kids boycott. That was less appreciated but thankfully came from a significantly smaller crowd; vocal but small. Dueling fan campaigns of support and demands for them to step down had plagued the JYPE building in Seoul for weeks with supportive campaigns growing larger and more numerous as time passed. The biggest issue for the group was really the response from corporations and the older, more conservative, generation who controlled everything at that level. Few had made public comments either way, not deigning to comment on the private lives of idols, but many had spoken with JYPE privately to express their concerns. While personally, many of them disapproved, they were willing to overlook that in the interest of good business. For now, though, they were hesitant to broadcast anything Stray Kids until they proved to be a good business decision with public opinion settling one way or another; that included inviting them to perform on music shows, participate in variety shows, or show their interviews.
They still had about six weeks before the comeback dropped and they were all hoping they’d be able to do their standard slate of promotional appearances for the title tracks but right now, that was in doubt. Chan was optimistic, saying that the initial outpouring of public support from other idols and celebrities as well as private support from others in their industry would go a long way to swaying their position as public opinion continued to grow in their favor. If Stray Kids released a comeback and wasn’t invited to any shows, it would be glaringly obvious why. There was no guarantee of an industry wide response to that, no matter their support so far, but the threat of some high profile people making a public statement about it in their defense might be enough to keep everything moving ahead as per usual. Nonetheless, Chan was coordinating with the label and their management team to come up with alternatives, just in case.
Outside of Korea, they faced the most backlash in China where Chinese markets had essentially cut them off, refusing to host Stray Kids music on their platforms so long as Hyunjin and Felix were part of the group. They had also removed all of Felix’s ads that were currently airing in the country.
That was actually one of their bigger problems right now and it made Hyunjin want to groan out loud when he thought about it. China was the only place where the country demanded they pull his ads but several of Felix’s brand partners had quietly removed his commercials and billboards elsewhere too. They hadn’t ended his contracts, not yet, and they hadn’t made any public statements against them, but they were laying the groundwork for a separation. Most of them had shared Felix’s initial social media posts and congratulated him on his marriage and then gone silent after that. Since then, they’d been in a holding pattern, teasing Felix with talk of new campaigns that just dragged on. Hyunjin hadn’t even heard from any of the companies he’d previously partnered with or any of the ones who had expressed interest beforehand.
Tickets for the tour would go on sale next week and he had never been more nervous for anything in his career. How sales went for that would influence album sales and brand deals as well as be a financial reckoning on how Stay felt about them now, about him. Hyunjin had always felt close to their fans, it was something he loved and had missed over the last few years, and he didn’t want to face proof that their love and support was fickle. He was prepared for it, had made his peace with the possibility years ago when he accepted Felix’s proposal, but that didn’t mean he looked forward to it.
A bottle of water appeared in front of his face and he blinked in surprise, turning to find Jeongin holding it up. “I didn’t want anything,” he protested.
Jeongin shrugged and forced it into his hands. “Take it.” Hyunjin took it. Jeongin nodded in approval and dropped back down next to him, letting his legs flop over Seungmin’s. “So. Are you going to do it?” He asked.
Hyunjin groaned out loud. It was the question of the hour, or rather the month. Ever since their live, they’d been inundated with requests for interviews and they’d turned down every single one of them. The label wasn’t happy about that and had made their displeasure known, but they couldn’t actually force them into it. Hyunjin wouldn’t mind finally getting permission to talk about how much he loved Felix but Felix felt strongly that they not turn their relationship into some big PR affair and Hyunjin wouldn’t fight him on it.
Except the latest request had come in a week ago from Time Magazine. And even Felix was having trouble saying no to that. As much as he didn’t want their marriage to become public fodder, the exposure that Time would bring to Stray Kids was hard to ignore. It would also be a good chance for them to get the narrative they wanted out there, on their terms. They’d discussed it several times and Hyunjin thought Felix might be coming around.
“We’ll let you know what we decide,” he told Jeongin. It was the same thing he said every time one of them asked.
“Hyunjin!”
Hyunjin was on his feet before he fully registered Felix’s call. Jeongin startled and half rose to follow him but Hyunjin waved him back into his seat. He recognized that tone of Felix’s voice and despite the yelling it didn’t sound like it was something bad. Nonetheless, he leapt over Seungmin’s legs where they blocked his path, gently pushed a worried Jisung back onto the couch, and hurried through the house to Felix’s office.
Felix was standing in the middle of his office, staring out the window with his hands clutched in his hair when Hyunjin walked in. He closed the door behind him softly. “Lix?” Felix turned to look at him but didn’t say anything, just blinking repeatedly as his chest heaved a little. Hyunjin might be worried if he hadn’t seen this exact reaction from Felix on several occasions. It usually meant Felix had just heard good news that he couldn’t believe was real. “Yongbokkie?” He tried again. “What did he say?” Felix had had a meeting with Nicolas today which is the only reason he’d been able to escape the others’ constant attention.
“They’re going to do it,” he breathed. He met Hyunjin’s eyes, his own blown wide with shock. One day, Hyunjin mused, Felix would stop being surprised by his own success. “They’re going to release my collection.”
“Yeah? That’s amazing!” He smiled, wrapping Felix in his arms. Felix’s hands went from his own hair to Hyunjin’s shoulders almost absentmindedly. “Congratulations, jagiya.” He kissed him once, briefly, before kissing him again, longer this time. Felix kissed him back, his arms circling his shoulders to clutch him close.
“Nicolas did it,” Felix told him when they finally broke apart.
“You did it,” Hyunjin countered, tucking his hair behind his ear.
Felix shook his head. “No, I mean, he got them to agree to release it under both collections. It will be a unisex line and it will be released under both LV’s next womenswear and menswear Fall/Winter Collections. I’ll have to go to both shows and we’ll have to manage the schedule around the tour but…” his smile was blinding, as if telling Hyunjin about it finally made it real, “I’m going to have my own collaboration with Louis Vuitton. And the first to have it released by both lines simultaneously.”
“That’s incredible,” Hyunjin gushed. “You’re incredible, angel.”
Felix’s grin was still bright but his shoulders were loosening and he collapsed against Hyunjin’s chest as some last bit of tension left him. “I did it,” he spoke against Hyunjin’s neck, his lips tickling Hyunjin lightly. “We did it. They agreed.” This deal had been in the works for months, since Felix finished his apprenticeship and he designed their wedding outfits. Nicholas had convinced him to use them as inspiration for a full collection and Felix had done so before submitting it to LV for their consideration several months ago. Discussions had stalled after Felix notified them about his intent to come out, just one of the many casualties of everyone’s desire to wait-and-see about the public reaction. For Louis Vuitton to announce a new collaboration with Felix, above and beyond his existing ambassadorship, now, after they came out and while public opinion was still a bit divided, was huge. It may even trigger other companies to be more public with their support and renew their sponsorship deals. “You did it,” Hyunjin agreed, pressing his lips to Felix’s hairline. They stood there, in the center of Felix’s office, clutching each other tightly in both happiness and relief, for long enough that he wasn’t surprised when the door crept open slowly.
“Everything okay?” Jeongin’s voice came from the doorway behind him. Hyunjin should have known it would be their maknae that would eventually ignore him and come to check on them.
“Yeah,” he answered.
“Everything’s great,” Felix added, lifting his face out of Hyunjin’s chest to prop his chin on his shoulder so he could talk to Jeongin properly. “I promise. It’s good news.”
“If you’re sure…” Jeongin seemed hesitant to leave but Felix must have mouthed something at him because Hyunjin felt his jaw work against his shoulder before the door snapped closed. Immediately after, Felix grabbed a solid handful of his ass and squeezed. Hyunjin didn’t squeak in surprise thanks only to extensive experience with Felix’s handsiness. In return, he curled his fingers in the back of Felix’s hair and tilted his face up to meet his.
“Wait,” Felix whispered against his lips just before they met and Hyunjin froze. They stood there for a moment, exchanging breaths, before Hyunjin heard the front door slam and one of the cars start up outside. “Good boy Innie,” Felix muttered before capturing his mouth.
---
Hyunjin didn’t know where Jeongin had dragged the others to but he didn’t see them for the rest of the day. It was after noon the next day when the doorbell rang and he startled; the only person they were expecting was Felix’s manager Angela but she knew the door codes and shouldn’t need to ring the bell. Honestly, he hadn’t known they had a functioning doorbell since everyone they knew just walked right in. He exchanged a look with Felix before setting down his brushes and wiping his hands on his paint-strewn jeans. Felix was in the middle of something on his computer so Hyunjin went to answer the door.
Angela smiled at him when he opened the door but Hyunjin frowned. “Don’t you have the code?” He was almost positive she’d let herself in before. He stepped back to let her inside and then closed the door behind her.
“I do,” she corrected. “But I don’t like just walking into someone’s house. Even when you’re expecting me.” She went to set her bag down so she could take her shoes off and Hyunjin took it from her.
“How’s your day been? Any updates?” She was here to discuss the new LV contract and she’d hinted at another one but there was always the possibility that something new had crept up since they’d last talked.
She nodded. “It’s been good, thank you. Things are actually very good right now.” She smiled again and this time Hyunjin smiled back, handing her her bag. He hadn’t known what to expect when Felix told him he’d hired his own personal manager, since he knew that she would be around a lot more than their team of managers were, but he liked her a lot. She was Australian, recommended by Felix’s father, and she was still working on her conversational Korean (how she knew how to read legal documents in Korean but not carry on a conversation, he’d never understand) so they’d made a deal where she only spoke to him in Korean and he would only speak to her in English; that way they’d both get to practice since Felix was surprisingly terrible about helping them, unable to stick to just one language when he wasn’t focusing if he knew that the person he was speaking to spoke both. Hyunjin blamed Chan and the habit the two of them had gotten into years ago of switching languages mid-sentence. “He in his office?” Hyunjin nodded and led her through the house, though she knew the way. “How’s the kitchen?” She asked, peering in its direction as they passed.
“Good,” he answered honestly. “The appliances are in and I painted last week. I reserve the right to change some things in the future but for right now, it’s done.” It was a relief, if he was honest. He’d loved everything about the renovation, even the unexpected water damage because it gave him a new challenge to tackle, but it had dragged on long enough. He’d already decided his next project was going to be the back garden. He knew nothing about landscaping or exterior design but he’d been doing some research into what appealed to him and which plants would fare best.
“Lix,” he called as they re-entered the office, “Angela’s here.”
Felix looked up in surprise. “Hey!” He frowned. “Did the code not work”
She laughed. “Is it really so odd for someone to ring your doorbell?”
“Yes,” they agreed.
“I don’t think I’d ever heard it before,” Hyunjin added, causing her to laugh.
Felix shrugged. “Everyone else who comes by is family and we’ve always had an open door policy.” He stood and pulled over the extra chair he kept against the wall, setting it up next to him on his side of the desk. “Is everything alright? No surprises?”
“Everything is great,” Angela assured him. She sat down and started digging through her bag before freezing, her eyes caught on the wall opposite the desk. “What is that? That looks incredible.” Hyunjin followed her gaze and tried to view it through her eyes. He’d been working on a mural for most of the last week, determined to brighten Felix’s office after he’d mentioned not liking the bare wall. He’d never done a mural before, preferring paper or canvas, but the alternative was doing multiple pieces to fill up the wall so he’d decided to give it a try.
“Ah,” he fumbled, “thank you.” He’d actually really enjoyed working on it over the last few days. He’d sketched out the design and started on the painting while Felix worked quietly at the desk whenever they could get some space from the others. Hyunjin was pretty sure Felix didn’t actually have that much work and was just messing around on his computer half the time, but getting to share the space quietly while they were both focused on their own tasks had been relaxing.
She grinned at him before turning to Felix, setting up her computer without looking. “Alright, LV sent over the contract for the collaboration. It’s good, everything you could want. The only hiccup might be the time commitment because it has some overlap with the tour but we can figure out a solution there, I’m sure.” She was still grinning widely, though. “And, it looks to be a new collaboration, not tied to your work as a brand ambassador.” She tapped away at the keyboard for a second then turned the screen so Felix could see. “You’ll want to check with Isaac, of course.”
Hyunjin walked over to them, confused. Isaac was one of the lawyers Felix had put on retainer but rarely used. Between JYPE’s entire legal department and Chan’s guy, they hadn’t had much need. But Isaac was the first person Felix contacted when he wanted to establish his own management and it was Isaac who had connected them with the immigration lawyer, so it wasn’t like he was a stranger. “What do you need Isaac for?”
Felix looked up at him. “Remember the small addendum I added to the new contracts?” Felix had been annoyed by the extended contract negotiations JYPE had dragged them through so when the final contracts had come through for them to sign, he had added a phrase to his and Hyunjin’s that would make it so that they could decide which, if any, of their future solo engagements were managed by JYPE or by their own management. Which right now was just Angela. He’d mentioned it to Chan but Chan hadn’t wanted to jeopardize their negotiations any more after they’d finally gotten everything else squared away so he’d only added it to theirs. Once they sent them back, signed, they’d waited to see if JYPE would counter but the label never said anything about it, only sending them a copy of the ratified contract alongside everyone else’s. Hyunjin supposed maybe they hadn’t expected any of them to change anything after everything was already agreed to but he wasn’t going to complain about it.
“Would this qualify?” He asked, catching on to Angela’s excitement. If Felix’s collaboration counted as a new solo engagement, it could be entirely up to her to manage.
“Possibly,” Felix agreed. “It might be a little complicated because it’s LV and I’ve had a contract with them for years but the nature of this work is completely different so…” he shrugged. He pulled up his phone and typed out a message, most likely to Isaac.
“That’s not all,” Angela told them. “Three more companies have reached out, wanting to work with you.” She looked up at Hyunjin. “And I’m not officially on your management team but I’ve heard you’ve got a few offers too. I mean, Cartier is obviously eager to renew your ambassadorship.”
That was incredible. Hyunjin eased down onto the arm of Felix’s chair. “Seriously? I haven’t heard anything about that.”
Angela’s smile dimmed for the first time. “You haven’t heard anything at all?”
Hyunjin shook his head. “Not in months. They told me discussions stalled after I announced my engagement and then nothing after that.”
“I don’t think they stalled, not really. They’ve been ongoing for months,” Angela told him, frowning now. “They haven’t gone anywhere but you’ve definitely had interest from multiple companies, including some that you worked with before your service.”
Felix sighed heavily. “Angela, can you take over Hyunjin’s management for now? We’ll hire someone as soon as possible but it seems like leaving it in JYPE’s hands isn’t going to work anymore.”
“I can make a request but since officially I am your employee liaison within JYPE rather than a JYPE employee, I don’t have the authority to take control of another idol’s portfolio.”
“Isn’t that what we just added to the new contract?” Hyunjin asked, looking to Felix.
Felix nodded. “We’ll have to notify them but since all of your old ambassadorship deals expired, anything you sign on to moving forward should be covered by the new contract and you can take control of them directly.”
“Or Angela can.”
Angela smiled wanly. “I would love to, believe me, but I am only one person and he’s more than a full time job,” she nodded at Felix. “I literally do not have enough time to take your schedules on too.”
“That’s why it would be temporary until we can hire someone,” Felix clarified. “I know it’s not ideal and I can handle some of my own stuff for a while but I did set up a management company for this reason. We can easily hire someone and assign them to Hyunjin without any push back from JYPE.”
“You sure?” Angela arched an eyebrow. “You know they don’t love me over there.”
Felix shrugged. “They signed the contract. And if their idea of managing Hyunjin’s schedule is to keep him out of the loop and prevent him from signing new deals, then that’s really not going to work for us.”
“We should tell Chan,” Hyunjin said. “If they’re doing this to me, who knows what else they’re keeping from us. Jeongin’s the only one they’ve mentioned any interest in.”
“Yeah,” Felix exhaled. “Fuck. Can we go back ten minutes to when I was just really excited about everything?”
“Well, I can make it either better or worse?” Angela hedged. “You’re still getting several requests for interviews.” She looked between them. “Time reached out again.”
“No.” Felix was shaking his head before she finished speaking. His hand was rubbing up and down Hyunjin’s thigh where it laid over Felix’s legs and Hyunjin reached down to still him. “We’re not making some kind of social or political statement.”
“You may not want to,” Angela told them, “but the fact of the matter is that you are. And you can keep quiet about it, that’s absolutely your right, but it won’t make it go away. You’ll still be an openly queer couple in the kpop industry. Just...think about it. This would be a great opportunity to tell your story your way.” It wasn’t anything Hyunjin hadn’t been saying already but he was glad for the second opinion.
Felix’s phone rang then and a quick glance at the screen showed that it was Isaac. Felix answered on speakerphone, explaining who was with him and the contract offer they’d received from Louis Vuitton. As he spoke, Hyunjin stood and crossed the room to clean up his paints; he got the sense that their lazy day was over.
---
Felix was tense lately in a way Hyunjin was too familiar with. He had been for days now, weeks if Hyunjin was being honest. Even the good news out of Louis Vuitton and other brands the last few days hadn’t lifted his mood entirely. Hyunjin hadn’t said anything yet, certain it would blow over, but it only seemed to be getting worse. When Chan, Olivia, his mom, and Angela all called him looking for Felix in the same day, he knew he needed to do something. Felix’s phone was practically glued to him and he only ignored it under specific circumstances.
He found Felix’s phone where he’d left it on the dresser in their room and unlocked it, completely unsurprised to find Do Not Disturb turned on and half of the notifications disabled. Hyunjin took it with him into the living room and started going through the apps. Bubble and Fans were the most obvious, with fans able to send messages directly to them, but he also looked on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter. Felix must have spent too much time on them because the algorithms all seemed to be feeding him the same things; negative comment after negative comment from ‘Stay’ degrading them both and Felix specifically for being in a relationship. In less than five minutes Hyunjin found more messages accusing Felix of corrupting him and of deliberately sabotaging the group than he had in the last month. They had a dedicated social media team who were supposed to be keeping an eye on these things and sending along anything that they felt was concerning and Hyunjin hadn’t heard about any of this. Sure, they’d mentioned that there were some negative comments out there but they’d assured them all that they were outweighed by the positive or at least neutral reactions.
The biggest issue that had been raised had been the resurgence of threats against them individually. Some merely called for a boycott of all of their solo songs and the brands they were associated with but there had also been more than a few threats of physical harm and even death threats. Management had made it seem like it was fairly minor, though. Just a few bad apples, as Felix might say.
In truth, despite the fact that the physical threats had been directed more at Felix, Hyunjin was the one more worried about them. Felix was unfortunately a little used to it after having received threats for nearly their whole careers and was viewing it as just another consequence of his job while Hyunjin was coordinating with Chan and the label to increase their security for all future engagements. The other members hadn’t let Felix out of the house by himself all month, hoping that if anyone did try to follow through, they’d be put off by their presence. There’d been an increase in full flights from Seoul in the last few weeks and it was becoming increasingly common for them to be recognized on the street. Their little oasis of privacy was coming to an end and Hyunjin could only hope it would only result in unflattering photos of them appearing online and nothing more.
But he’d known all of this. Their management had kept them all up to date on that. What he was seeing now, targeted messages sent directly to Felix and sites full of disparaging messages, was completely new to him. And as horrible as the viral posts on social media were, the direct messages on Bubble and Fans were worse, he felt. Those ‘fans’ intended for Felix to see those. No wonder Felix had been so tense lately.
He was still going through them when the front door opened and Felix came through, sweaty from his run. “Hey,” he greeted with a smile that fell off his face when he noticed his own phone in Hyunjin’s hands. “Don’t-” he cut himself off and shook his head. “I’m going to take a shower.” Hyunjin let him go, not willing to push it right away.
“What was that about?” Jeongin asked from where he’d come in behind Felix.
“Don’t worry about it,” Hyunjin told him. “You should go take a shower too.”
Jeongin didn’t seem to believe him at all but went without complaint. He did shoot a concerned look over his shoulder twice before he disappeared from sight, though.
“You’re such bad liars,” Seungmin commented from behind him. Hyunjin jumped a little.
“When did you get here?” He whirled on him.
Seungmin just stared blandly and took a bite of his banana. “I was in the kitchen.”
Hyunjin exhaled heavily. He loved the others, he’d missed them and he was happy to have them around, he was. But was it too much to ask for him and Felix to have a little bit of privacy these days?
“We need groceries,” Seungmin suddenly announced. Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. “Jeongin and I will go to the store and get some.”
“You’re not going to make Changbin drive out here and do it for you?” Hyunjin assumed Seungmin had won at least one bet recently, probably more than one, from the sheer number of ridiculous favors the others were doing for him; Changbin especially seemed to be at his beck and call which he knew from experience could only be the result of a lost bet.
“I could,” Seungmin agreed. “But that would defeat the purpose of giving you and Felix an empty house.” He finished his banana with one big bite and folded the peel into a ball.
Hyunjin blinked. “Oh. Yeah. That would be great. Thanks.” Seungmin rolled his eyes and turned around to throw his banana peel away. “Where’s Jisung?” Hyunjin called after him. He definitely hadn’t slept there last night but that didn’t mean much these days.
“At the studio!”
That was good. Hyunjin sat back in the chair and resumed looking through Felix’s phone. He quickly tired of seeing those gross comments, though, and started searching funny videos to try and reset the algorithms. He wasn’t totally sure how it worked but he could try. He didn’t want Felix to keep seeing those things and Felix’s main method of ignoring them when they got to be too much was to ignore his phone entirely which wasn’t all that helpful.
Hyunjin was still going through Felix’s feed and liking random videos when he felt Felix approach. He looked up and met Felix’s eyes. His hair was wet from the shower and he had a guarded expression on his face. Hyunjin held out a hand and Felix stepped into it, letting Hyunjin guide him down onto the chair with him. It was a tight squeeze and Felix was more than half on top of Hyunjin but they were well practiced at this by now and they fit together comfortably. Felix dropped his head onto Hyunjin’s shoulder and watched him as he worked. They said nothing as Seungmin walked through the room, yelling for Jeongin. A minute later the two reappeared, this time heading for the front door. Hyunjin could see that they wanted to ask again if everything was alright but they didn’t, instead just waving goodbye as they left.
“Yongbok,” Hyunjin said once they were gone. “You’ve gotta stay off social media.”
Felix straightened but didn’t get up. “Like I’ve ever been able to do that,” he scoffed. It was true, Hyunjin knew. Felix was a little addicted to his phone and had multiple unofficial accounts on every platform. “I just wanted to know what they were saying.”
“The managers are keeping track of it for us.”
Felix rolled his eyes. “They’re not telling us everything. There’s so much out there. It’s been a month and we’re still all anyone can talk about. We’ve released promo videos for the comeback and instead of talking about the music or the tour, every comment section is filled with comments about us, about how we’re disrupting the group, about how we shouldn’t have lied for so long, about how we shouldn’t have told the truth now, about how we’ve betrayed our fans, about-” Hyunjin put his hand over Felix’s mouth as he started to get worked up. Felix sighed, his shoulders dropping. “It’s so much, Jinnie,” he muttered against Hyunjin’s fingers.
“It’ll pass,” Hyunjin told him. “Didn’t we agree? This will all be okay. They’re talking now because it’s new, but they’ll get used to it and it won’t be so special anymore.”
Felix shook his head slightly and Hyunjin dropped his hand onto his leg instead, rubbing gently at it. “It’s just…so much negative. Everywhere. I don’t know what the managers are seeing because it is not being outweighed by the good.”
“That’s because you keep interacting with the bad stuff,” Hyunjin told him. “That’s how the apps work, right? The more you interact with, the more it shows you similar stuff? You’re doomscrolling, Lixie, and it’s feeding into that. You’ve got to put it down. Or look at other stuff.”
Felix didn’t say anything for a while but he did lean more heavily on him, his head returning to its place on his shoulder. “What about Bubble and Fans?” He asked quietly. “I can’t exactly turn those off.”
“Yes you can,” Hyunjin told him immediately. His own feeds hadn’t been as overwhelming as Felix’s looked to be but he’d still scaled way back on his own usage of those apps. “You don’t have to be on them. And you definitely don’t have to read everything people send you.”
Felix scoffed. “Easy to say.”
“I will delete them from your phone,” Hyunjin half threatened.
“Don’t do that,” Felix sighed. “Then people will get pissed that I’m hiding or something.”
Hyunjin turned his chin so that Felix was looking at him. “Fuck them,” he said seriously. “They’re strangers on the internet. Who cares if they get pissed?”
“They do,” Felix reminded him. “If they get pissed enough, you start stressing with Chan and management that we need more security.”
“We do need more security,” Hyunjin agreed immediately.
“Interacting with them a little bit can stop them from getting worse.”
Hyunjin shook his head. “Don’t reward them for being assholes, Yongbokkie. Isn’t that what you used to tell me?” There was a time when Hyunjin had cared too much about what Stay felt about him, constantly stressing over every negative message he got. It had taken time, and Felix, for him to accept that he was never going to please everyone and he didn’t need to waste his time with those who felt entitled to his time and attention. He just wished Felix could learn from his own teachings. “They’re not important, you are. Delete those apps, use your other accounts to scroll social media if you can’t stay off of it completely, just focus on other things instead of Stray Kids, okay?”
“We need to know what they’re saying,” Felix defended.
Hyunjin unlocked Felix’s phone and deleted Bubble before Felix could stop him. “That’s what we’re paying our managers for,” he reminded Felix as he deleted Fans next. He tried for Twitter but Felix snatched the phone out of his hand before he could. Hyunjin let him take it and wrapped his arms around him instead. “Let them deal with it.”
Felix looked at him for a long moment before sighing. “Fine,” he agreed. “But they need to keep us better informed, okay?”
“I’ll tell them,” he nodded, then stopped, considering. “I’ll tell Chan.”
Felix huffed a tiny laugh. “Yeah, okay.” Chan would rain hell on JYPE on their behalf. He’d gotten good at it recently. At this point, they were all just waiting for the day when they’d use up the last of their goodwill but it wasn’t going to stop them.
“It will be okay,” he promised, dropping a kiss into Felix’s hair. “Don’t let the bad side of the internet convince you otherwise.”
---
He wasn’t sure when exactly their house had become the group’s new headquarters but when Changbin had suggested they all get together that night, there had never been a question as to where they’d be gathering. Now, having eaten earlier, the eight of them were sat around the living room, Chan on the floor with his laptop on the coffee table, all of them staring at the screen.
Tickets for their comeback tour were going live in just a few minutes and to say they were anxious about it would be an understatement of epic proportions. Minho and Changbin tried to hide it, playing at confidence that everything would go as planned, but the rest of them were wearing their nerves on their faces and in their bodies. Felix was tucked in between Jeongin and Seungmin, his arm stretched behind Seungmin’s back to grasp at Hyunjin’s where he sat with Jisung pressed against him. All of them were squashed together in some gross amalgamation on one sofa only meant to seat three people. Minho had pulled the arm chair over and was only an arm’s reach away from Jisung. Changbin was pacing behind the couch, occasionally ruffling one of their hair like they were still teenagers. Chan sat in front of them like a shield between the group and the secrets the computer was about to unveil.
The album was still a few weeks away from release. The video teasers they’d started to release had had mixed success with record views but comment sections that were a bit of a bloodbath as Felix had pointed out. Too much of what was being said was about the two of them and not the music but there were still plenty of people willing to condemn them and the new album from just a few seconds of one song. Longtime fans and new critics alike were showing up in force to make their opinions known. Pre-sale for the album was doing well, not as well as their last comeback before everyone enlisted but still strong. But it was the tour ticket sales the label was looking to to be the first true measure of how successful Stray Kids could be with two out, queer members. They’d stuck to the original plan of opening the tour in Seoul with Incheon Stadium booked for two nights but there had been discussions about changing to a smaller venue like they’d used for most of their previous tours or opening the tour in Sydney instead. Depending on how tickets sold, they may need to pivot to one of the other plans but Hyunjin hoped they didn’t, hoped that their fans would be there for them, would show up. He tried to temper his expectations but public response so far had given him hope that it wouldn’t be that bad, that it may not sell out as fast as they hoped but that Stay wouldn’t abandon them entirely. He loved their fans and he’d been prepared to walk away from them but that didn’t mean he was ready to watch them turn their backs on him. Not for this, for finally being himself.
Seoul wasn’t the only city that concerned them but nowhere else meant even half as much to them as their hometown.
Chan refreshed the page, some tracking software that the label had given him access to, just as the first round of tickets went live. Hyunjin had never really paid attention to how it worked, just aware that there was a pre-sale or two before everything became available. Now, they all leaned forward to see the screen as the number of tickets sold starting ticking up faster than their eyes could track.
“Is that good?” Jisung asked, his hand gripping Hyunjin’s arm tight enough to hurt, after about fifteen minutes of total silence.
Chan made a so-so noise. “It’s just the pre-sale,” he reminded them, not looking away from the screen. “We’ve got an hour before everything else goes live.”
“But…” Changbin prompted.
“Give it time,” Chan replied, not really answering them. He clicked through a few tabs to show other locations and it was clear that other cities had already sold more. He went back to the Seoul tab before any of them could fixate. “Incheon’s a big stadium.”
Hyunjin squeezed Felix’s hand and Felix squeezed back. Seungmin leaned forward to give them more room and Hyunjin took it. He sat back, shaking his hand loose from Felix’s grip so he could reach over and slip it around his shoulders. Felix used his now free hand to slip under his shirt and touch his hip. Between them, Seungmin put a reassuring hand on both of their knees but didn’t get up or move.
The eight of them were riveted to Chan’s computer screen for the next hour, hardly blinking or moving as they watched tickets sales rise all over the world. The two nights in Seoul climbed steadily but slowly. By the time Chan slowly closed his screen, neither night had sold even half of the available seats. Hyunjin felt nauseous, his stomach had been slowly sinking for the last hour as he watched. “It’s the first day,” Chan reminded them, turning to face everyone. “It doesn’t mean-”
Hyunjin didn’t bother to wait for his platitudes. He shook off the others’ hands and pushed to his feet, stepping over Chan on his way out of the room. Had it been too much to ask, he pondered as he stormed down the hall. Had he expected too much out of their fans?
He didn’t consciously decide where he was going but he was unsurprised when he opened a door and found himself in Felix’s office. He closed it gently behind him and made his way to the far wall, folding himself onto the ground before his mural. His fingers found one of the paint brushes he’d left out the last time he was in here and he reached for one of the paints but suddenly he didn’t have the energy to so much as lift the brush. It fell to the floor right in front of him and he stared at it.
The door opened less than a minute after he’d sat down. Hyunjin didn’t turn to look at who it was, he didn’t need to. Felix slipped inside without a word, shutting the door firmly and turning the lock before anyone else could interrupt them. He made his way over to Hyunjin and settled behind him, bracing himself on Hyunjin’s shoulders so he could ease onto the floor. Hyunjin felt his legs come around either side of his hips and reached out to put a hand on one of Felix’s shins. Felix continued to say nothing as he wrapped his arms around him and braced his forehead against his back.
“I was prepared for this,” Hyunjin said quietly. “Or. I thought I was.”
“It’s okay to be disappointed,” Felix assured him, equally quiet. Neither of them spoke above a murmur.
Hyunjin shook his head. “I am,” he agreed. “But I’m also…angry? I expected more from them,” he admitted. “I did not think they were truly so fickle.”
“Give them time,” Felix urged. “They feel betrayed right now. We kept something huge from them for a long time and they just found out about it.”
“That’s not an excuse. And if it was, it’s been over a month.”
“It’s not a good excuse,” Felix clarified. “But it’s what they are saying.”
Hyunjin huffed. “Maybe we should just start the tour here in Sydney.”
“No. We start in Seoul. It’s what we’ve always done and it’s what we’re going to do this time.” Felix kissed him softly on the back of his neck. “It’s only the first hour, Hyunjin. Give them time.”
“Last time we were at Incheon we were nearly sold out in the first hour,” Hyunjin felt compelled to remind him.
“That was an encore concert and nearly half the tickets were from international fans,” Felix added. “This is different.” Hyunjin tipped his head back and Felix shifted so that it landed on his shoulder. Felix pressed a kiss to the corner of his eye, right where the crinkles formed when he smiled. “It will be okay.”
They sat there for long enough that it started to get uncomfortable but Hyunjin couldn’t bring himself to move. “We knew this could happen,” he finally said. “We planned for it. I lowered my expectations. So why am I still upset?”
Felix nuzzled him lightly until Hyunjin turned to look at him, their faces too close together for him to meet his eyes so he started inspecting his favorite freckles instead. “Because you care. Because you love our fans and you flourish under the love they give back to us. And right now, it’s different than it’s ever been. Not worse, just…different.”
“I don’t like it,” he pouted.
“I know,” Felix’s eyes smiled more than his lips did. This time he kissed Hyunjin’s hairline before darting down to kiss his lips. “Now tell me, why’d you come in here? I was expecting you to go to your studio.”
Hyunjin had expected that too, if he was honest. “I go to my studio to be alone,” he realized. “In here, I have you.”
Felix kissed him again. “You have me everywhere, always.” This time, Hyunjin was the one to lean in for a kiss, one then another. Eventually, he felt Felix wince and he pulled back, realizing they’d been sitting on the floor for too long.
“Shit, sorry,” he mumbled, shifting so he was crouched on his toes, facing Felix.
“Don’t apologize.” Hyunjin ignored him and helped him to his feet and over to his couch, frowning when Felix moved too stiffly. “I know my limits, Hyunjin.”
“Doesn’t mean I like causing you pain,” Hyunjin shot back, still frowning. Felix’s back had been a slightly contentious issue between them since he’d moved in and he wanted to tread lightly. Felix had developed his own habits and treatments over the last few years that Hyunjin hadn’t been here and he didn’t appreciate Hyunjin coming back and trying to manage his pain for him; Hyunjin just didn’t want to keep seeing his husband in pain all the time. “Sit.”
Felix rolled his eyes but went when Hyunjin pushed him into the seat. He started to tug Hyunjin down next to him when he stopped and pushed him away gently. “Paint me something pretty,” he urged, nodding at Hyunjin’s fallen paintbrush. Hyunjin followed his eyes, frowning when he saw it laying forlornly on the ground. He opened his mouth to say something, he didn’t know what, but Felix talked over him. “You paint when you’re upset. Don’t let me stop you.” Hyunjin did, it was part of why he’d come in here rather than their bedroom despite the fact that they were far more likely to be left alone in there. Still, he looked to Felix for confirmation and smiled reflexively when he found him watching him fondly, his eyes warm and a smile playing at his lips. “I want butterflies,” he teased.
Well, how could he say no to a request like that?
He settled himself in front of the wall and quickly lost himself in the painting, careful to get the shading just right on a small butterfly, and barely startled when the knock came.
“Yeah?” Felix called.
“Everything okay?” Changbin asked.
“We’re good,” Felix assured him.
“You sure?”
Hyunjin laughed. “We’re sure.”
---
The album release was five days away and there were still too many questions for comfort when they were all summoned to a meeting at the office.
“Do we know what this is about?” Minho asked, settling into a chair at the far end of the conference table. The others chose seats around him, unwilling to split up too much.
“Not specifically,” Chan admitted. “I assume it has to do with the comeback.”
They were supposed to be flying to Seoul in three days so they could do interviews and music show appearances over the weekend as part of the comeback promo but as far as Hyunjin knew, those appearances were still technically unconfirmed. They were moving ahead as if everything would progress as it normally did, two weekends of recorded appearances to promote their new title track and a full slate of interviews and social media videos in between. Hyunjin was a little worried about being gone for 10 days so early before the tour started but Felix had been coordinating their schedules with the immigration lawyer and he seemed to think there wouldn’t be any issues.
“Thank you for joining us,” Manager Park greeted as he breezed into the room. His normally put together appearance was a little ruffled and the three managers that filed in behind him looked frazzled but no one seemed to be upset. “We have a lot of details to cover.” Angela slipped in just before the door closed and sat closest to them.
“First, ticket sales for the tour are going well. We have 13 sold out dates with another 15 that are nearing 95% sales. I’m also very pleased to say that both nights at Incheon have sold over 75% of their seats,” Park grinned at them. There was a slight whoosh sound in the room as all eight of them let out a breath of relief. It had only been a week since they went on sale but that first day had been hard to reconcile with. “There are still a few dates that concern us but we’re willing to wait and see before making any changes to the schedule. Felix,” he looked over at him, “we’ve been coordinating with Angela on your likely time commitments for LV. There will be a few weeks where you won’t really have any rest time between shows but we should be able to make it work.” Angela nodded in agreement when Felix looked to her.
“For the album,” he continued, “pre-sales have continued and we are track with Do It’s sales numbers so far. Our promotional videos on social media have done well.” He made no mention of the comment sections but none of them mentioned it. What mattered most was the number of views and engagements.
He paused and cleared his throat. “For the promotional appearances in Seoul,” he looked up and met their eyes, “we have been invited to four.” Hyunjin’s jaw clenched. There were usually six. “We will, of course, be participating in each of the four. The good news is that we can reschedule the flight to arrive back here in Sydney a day earlier.” He nodded to Hyunjin like Hyunjin should be grateful about that.
“Which two refused?” Chan asked. Park rattled off two names and Hyunjin committed them to memory, just like he knew Chan was. They weren’t going to make a fuss but they wouldn’t forget who chose not to support them.
“We’ve been in touch with a few idols,” Manager Kim spoke up. “And they are willing to make public appearances at the show recordings in support. Those that can’t make them have agreed to film dance videos with you.” She listed over a dozen names and Hyunjin had to smile. They really had some great friends. They included not just current JYPE artists but idols from other companies including some that he didn’t know that well beyond the fact that they were friends with some of the others. “It will be a busy week to fit everything in but as long as we stick to the schedule,” she glared at all of them in turn, “we should be fine.” Hyunjin thought the glare was a little unwarranted, sure they were chaotic and tended to be flexible with their time constraints but they were all professionals and very motivated to make this comeback work.
“I’m glad you’ve got it all handled. We trust you.” Changbin grinned at her. She flushed slightly and looked annoyed at herself for it.
“One more thing,” Park interjected. “We obviously have music video releases scheduled for both title tracks but we had discussed an additional three MV’s considering the length of the album. We’ve been given permission for two more. So at some point, we will need to film those.”
Chan stared at him. “The album drops in five days,” he reminded the managers. Normally, their music videos were filmed weeks or months ahead of the album release to give time for editing and production.
“I know,” Park nodded. “We will be releasing them in three week intervals. So three weeks after the second title track MV, we will release the first and then the second one three weeks after that. Three weeks after that will be the first concert of the tour.” He looked at something on his tablet. “The request is that you select one song from each side to film but the decision is ultimately yours.” He looked up at Chan, his face calm. “We will then arrange for filming to commence as soon as we return from Seoul.”
“We don’t have choreography for all of our songs,” Minho reminded them. Park said nothing. Hyunjin wanted to scream a little. Maybe he was out of practice but nothing about this comeback felt normal and every new curveball was throwing him for a loop.
Chan conferred with Changbin and Han briefly before looking to the rest of them. He named two songs, one from each side of the album. Seungmin hummed lightly before suggesting a different Korean track. Chan considered it, then shrugged. “I have no objection.”
“We have no choreography,” Minho said again.
Seungmin turned his chair so he could look at him fully. “You can’t come up with something in a week and a half?” Minho narrowed his eyes in response to the obvious challenge.
“Fine,” he huffed. Technically, choreography wasn’t Minho’s job but since they’d moved to Sydney, he’d taken it on more and more. “I am okay with those two songs.”
One by one, they all agreed and Park jotted it down. “Our team is at your disposal for concept design,” he reminded them. Technically, there was a team within JYPE who designed their music videos but Chan liked to have a say in it at least at the start. Once they’d come up with the concept, he would hand it over for the label to work out the details. Hyunjin occasionally helped out with that but they just didn’t have enough time to do it all themselves. They nodded and turned to the next issue.
“Several of you have solo events scheduled for next week,” Manager Kang tapped at her tablet. “I’ve sent you all copies so you are aware. Chan, Hyunjin, Felix, and Jeongin have photoshoots for brand partnerships, Minho has a magazine interview and shoot, and Changbin has an interview scheduled to discuss some of your experience working with other groups.” Changbin had written and produced for a few other groups since ending his enlistment but Hyunjin hadn’t realized he was being interviewed for it. “Seungmin, you have a Burberry engagement scheduled for the week after we return to Sydney,” she looked at her tablet, tapping through something, “and Jisung, there have been numerous requests for collaborations with other groups as well. We can discuss those one-on-one later as there’s no time constraint.”
“Felix and Hyunjin,” Angela looked to them, “I’ve scheduled the interview with Time for after we return.” Hyunjin nodded, already aware. Angela had only needed a day to fine tune the details after Felix agreed to it. The magazine was interested in photographing their home, including his kitchen, so they requested to meet them in Sydney rather than Seoul. They hadn’t confirmed that photoshoot yet and Hyunjin wasn’t sure how he felt about it; their home was the first place they’d had that was just theirs and he didn’t want to share it with the world. He knew Felix still wasn’t thrilled about the interview but Hyunjin had managed to get him into an actual conversation about it and after talking it out, he’d agreed. This was going to be their only interview about their relationship and he hoped it would be enough for the fans.
Park stole their attention back as he started going through the details of their trip and their schedule for their time in Seoul.
As busy as it was going to be, Hyunjin finally felt that thrill of excitement he was used to from a new comeback and new performances, without a lot of the anxiety he’d been feeling lately. Something must have shown on his face because Felix reached over and squeezed his thigh, smiling warmly when Hyunjin looked at him.
Chan only had to cough obnoxiously twice to get their attention back after that.