Chapter Text
“I am not your property. I am not your slave. I am the Radio Demon!”
The ringing in his ears had only started to fade when Alastor had said that, but he understood it all the same. It echoed in Lucifer’s head, the look of hurt, betrayal and rage in his beloved eyes burned into his minds eye. How his voice had trembled with hurt and anger clung to insides of his mind.
An empty space where Alastor once stood. Not even flicker of shadow remained.
Breathing started to come in short, panting gasps. Eyes flicked side to side, searching, hoping...he was still the room.
Gone.
Lucifer looked under the bed. In the wardrobes. The duck sanctuary.
Nothing.
He clenched the bed sheets as he leaned upon the bed. Heart thudding in his chest. Blood pounding in his ears.
Why did he leave?
What did he do wrong?
“I am not your property. I am not your slave. I am the Radio Demon!”
No. Was that what he thought he was doing? No...that wasn’t his intention! He just wanted to keep him safe!
Why didn’t he understand that?
He sank to his knees, his elbows now on top of the bed as he gripped his hair. Wetness around his eyes.
Fucked it up. He fucked it up again. Only this time he didn’t know how!
“Dad!” The door slammed open as Charlie and Vaggie rushed in. “Is everything-” Lucifer looked toward her to see both women’s eyes widen in surprise.
“Ooooh...things are not OK…,” Vaggie muttered, the former exorcist looking around the room.
“D-did you see Alastor?” Lucifer croaked out, his body trembling as he rose to his feet.
“No,” Charlie replied. “Dad, what happened?”
“W-we n-need to find him…,” Lucifer panted as he headed for the door. “M-make sure he’s...st-still in the hotel….”
Charlie and Vaggie had looked at each other, then stepped in front of him. “What happened?” Vaggie insisted, her arms folded.
“N-no time...we have to-” Lucifer insisted.
“Dad!” Charlie snapped. “Alastor is a grown man, an Overlord, he can take care of himself!”
“I know that!” Lucifer whined. “But there are things that even he-”
“Lucifer,” Vaggie said sternly. “He nearly has as much pride as you do. Did you really think being this protective of him would sit well with him?”
That was a point...but….
“Dad.” Charlie’s voice was softer, her hand on his chest. “I know you mean well and you both have been under a lot of stress lately. But you know how much of an independent soul he is...how much he prefers to handing things himself.”
“I am not your property. I am not your slave. I am the Radio Demon!”
Finally, it clicked.
“I-I….” Regret washed over him as he staggered back until his legs hit the bed and he sat down upon it, placing his face in his hands, tears rolling down his cheeks. “What have I done? I-I...threatened to strip him of his freedom! I...I just...wanted to….”
“Protect him, we know,” Vaggie said with a sigh. Lucifer felt the bed dip on either side of him as both women sat down next to him. Two hands were now on his back.
“H-how can I fix this?” Lucifer sobbed. “Can it be fixed? The wedding….”
“I think the best thing you can do right now, dad, is to just give him space,” Charlie suggested.
“You both need time to cool down and talk about this with clearer heads,” Vaggie agreed. “Trust in his ability to take care of himself in the meantime.”
That didn’t sit well with him at all. Alastor was out there, alone and angry. Angry people don’t make the best decisions!
But….
The Radio Demon won’t be found if he didn’t want to be. If he attempted to track him down, he would only drive him further away….
They were right...he needed to give him...and himself...time.
---
For the rest of the day all Lucifer could do was keep himself busy by helping around the hotel, including repairing the damage to their room. Wedding plans? Ha...not a good thing to work on right now. His mind was busy enough replaying everything that happened that lead to this. Realizing he should have...talked to Alastor about additional protective measures instead of forcing it upon him.
That impulsivity...may have cost him dearly. His stomach felt like a lead weight, dragging him down, threatening to send him spiraling into major depression crash. Some how, some how...he managed to keep it at bay.
As tempting as it was for him to try to reach out to him telepathically, he didn’t. He already knew from past experience Alastor wouldn’t answer when he was upset with him. Lucifer could only hope if Alastor got himself in too deep, he would call to him.
Late that evening, Angel got a message from Velvette. The doll demon had asked what pissed Alastor off, as he made ‘a mess in the Doomsday District’. ‘Blowing off some steam’ was likely be best answer Angel could give her and it wouldn’t have been exactly a lie either.
Unfortunately this news was both good and bed. On the one hand, it helped remind people that his new Consort was not someone to mess with. However, on the other, it was not a good look for said Consort to appear to be a ‘loose cannon’. Not to mention someone whom was supposed to be helping people redeem acting like that would surely be a turn off.
Nothing could be done about it right now though.
Bedtime. Still no Alastor. No warm, fuzzy pillow named Alastor to curl up against this night. His only comfort was that their deal was still intact and had no shown no sign of threatening to break. Still, sleep alluded him until well past the midnight and even then, it was restless.
Morning, he was still alone. Hoping Alastor was in the kitchen, Lucifer had quickly washed up and dressed. His heart sank when he saw his beloved was not among the sinners and staff at breakfast. He almost turned and went back to his room, but Charlie encouraged him to join them. Cold cereal was all he could stomach to eat, but at least he ate something.
As for motivation to do anything else? Yeah, that wasn’t there. So after breakfast he went back to his room, thinking of just curling up in bed and wallowing in despair and loneliness.
When he entered his room, he heard water running. The shower? He didn’t take a shower….
His breath hitched when he saw a familiar red coat draped over a chair. It was covered in blood and had a lot more tears and holes than usual. A black pair of pants and red shirt were also on the seat: they both looked worst for wear. Most of the blood he saw was sinner blood, but there were traces of Alastor’s bronze blood here and there.
Raising a hand, the magic to clean and repair the garments was on the edge of his mind, the tip of his tongue, but he thought better of it. He had no idea what Alastor’s mental state was right now and he didn’t want to risk him running off again. Last thing he needed was to trigger another day of carnage by giving him unwanted help.
So he just stood there, staring at the bathroom door. Waiting. Unable to move as his heart hammered in his chest. Hoping he got the chance to talk, to apologize….
The water was turned off. Lucifer felt his chest tighten. Tried to remember to breathe.
Several minutes passed before the door finally opened….
...and Alastor stepped out.
Lucifer’s first instinct was the to call out, but he stilled his tongue. Same with the urge to run to him and wrap him into his arms. He just stood there, silently examining him, his widening and mouth falling open in slight shock.
Alastor was still in the process of drying himself off, so was completely nude, giving Lucifer a full view of the body he so adored….
...and the injuries that now marred it.
Most that he could see were minor. Small cuts and scraps, a few bruises. All of which Alastor could have healed with his angelic magic, but hadn’t. Which meant….
Either he wanted Lucifer to see the injuries or he was too drained of magic to heal them now.
As he looked up at his face, Alastor had stopped his forward momentum. The deer finally noticing him. Their eyes locking.
He still saw hurt in those crimson eyes, but that was nearly overshadowed by exhaustion. Eyes that started to shimmer with wetness. Alastor started to stumble forward, then his legs buckled.
Lucifer rushed forward and caught him, gentling guiding him down to his knees, then onto his rear. Alastor’s forehead was on his shoulder, one arm around his back while the other just hung there.
“I’m tired, Luci….,” Alastor whispered softly as he held him.
“Well...I would think destroying half of the Doomsday District would make anyone tired…,” Lucifer quipped halfheartedly.
Alastor made a half-snort, half-laughing sound. “Half? Oh please…,” he grumbled. “Two blocks...maybe three.”
“Just two or three?” Lucifer teased.
“Oh fuck you...I wasn’t trying to be a one-man apocalypse!”
Lucifer laughed and nuzzled the side of his head. His next words came out after a stuttering sigh. “I’m...just glad you’re back safe, Al….I….” A forced swallow due to both nerves and a dry throat. He pushed Alastor up just enough so he could press his forehead against his.
“I’m sorry…,” he told him. “I...shouldn’t have forced those things upon you...I should have asked...talked to you first….I shouldn’t have threatened to-to...lock you away.”
His breaths started coming in quicker as he continued. “The prophecy...the assassination attempt...I lost my head…,” he whimpered, tears filling his eyes. “All I could think about...was keeping you safe for as long as possible…and...I forgot what you said...about letting fear rule your life. I hurt you because of that...and I am sorry.”
Those crimson eyes were blinking at him slowly as he said all this. A line of moisture growing along their lids before spilling over. Lucifer could feel his own tears slipping down his cheeks as he felt Alastor cup his hands around his face before kissing him.
It wasn’t a deep kiss, but it was enough. Enough to know, that his apology was accepted, that he was forgiven.
“I was foolish myself…,” Alastor stated softly as the kiss broke. “I...I failed to to articulate myself properly...how your actions, as good intentioned they were, made me feel weak. Made me feel like you didn’t trust me. An-and….” He huffed a sigh.
“I went and purposely put myself in danger…,” he continued. “Both to vent in an attempt to prove you wrong. I...didn’t attack anyone outright, just presented myself as a target...and the people there took it. Word got out...and...I ended up over extending myself...nearly got overwhelmed. I...I had to hide until I had recovered enough magic to come back.”
“Al...why didn’t you call me?” Lucifer cupped his face with his hands. “Or Akos?”
“Why else? My damn pride,” Alastor said with a scoff. “My time in hiding gave me time to think...to realize...th-that….I do need you...your protection...even if it’s...to protect me from myself.”
This time Lucifer initiated the kiss. Again, not a deep one, but enough to tell. To show. “I guess we were both idiots…,” Lucifer said with a small smile, Alastor lightly chuckling in response. “Do you...want me to take care of the rest of those cuts?”
“Please.”
The healing session turned into a couple of hours of pampering. After the cuts were healed, Lucifer brushed out his fur, then trimmed his hooves and gave him his first wing preening. Then they just cuddled, relishing each other’s presence, promising each other to do better at communication, before Alastor fell asleep in his arms as they lay in bed.
When lunch time came, Lucifer let him sleep and teleported down. He told everyone that Alastor was back and that they made up (Angel predictably asking if they had ‘make up sex’ yet, much to everyone’s annoyance). Lucifer ate quickly, before fixing a large plate for Alastor and returning to his room.
The smell of food roused the deer and Alastor devoured the food, before promptly curling up against Lucifer and falling asleep once more. Only for an hour or two more though, before he woke up and got a bit frisky.
Make up sex of course followed and they basked in the afterglow until dinner time. This time, Alastor went down with him in casual attire, holding hands. To show everyone that Lucifer hadn’t been lying when he told them they had made up earlier.
Everyone was certainly happy to see that was truly the case.
There was some discussion about the repercussions about Alastor’s rampage through the Doomsday District, but for the most part the conversations were kept light. Jokes and laughter filled the air and things felt...almost normal again.
Well, as normal as Hell could be.