It's Hard Out Here for a (Pureblood) Prick
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Summary
It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.
This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.
When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.
How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?
Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!
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After years in Azkaban and a brief house arrest, Draco Malfoy was released unto a world clamoring for his presence- which, gave him pause.
He was of the understanding that the good guys won?
Without the Dark Lord serving as the nucleus of the resistance, the various factions of evil ran amok, and in turn “the good” was doing its best to fumble the win.
It all mattered not, to Draco. His future and freedom was unencumbered by any agenda other than abject hedonism. When such revelry grew stale, he had the perfect remedy.
Death!
Or so he thought.
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The Devil Works Hard, or: How Draco Malfoy Finally Did The Right Thing (And Really Shouldn’t He Be Called The Chosen One?) You’re Welcome, World
[tl;dr - the age old story of a stupid boy who offends, hates, attempts to befriend, yearns for, + finally gets to love Hermione J. Granger - a tale of hilarity and hijinks and murder galore]
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