Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The unknown distance to the great beyond…

Stares back at my grieving frame…

✦

Those stars.

Those damn stars.

Things that once fascinated him, lighted his way in the dark, gave him life and form, were a part of the celestial plane that gave him his namesake. Both of them.

The stars, and the moon. Cosmo, and Lunar.

In the night sky, those two were always with one another. With the moon came a blanket of stars with it. The same night, the same person.

Sometimes he would look out into the vastness of space, a starry body sitting upon some floating space debris. Satellites, moons, dwarf planets…

Shards of broken planets that he destroyed.

Watching the molten cores spill out like a lava lamp, comets shoot by, other planets orbit around him, trying to ignore the fact some day they will be next on the list to destroy. The stars and every other cosmic body would stare back at him.

He wouldn't sit here to bask in his hard work, or admire the scenery that had a mystifying beauty only the galaxies had.

No. He came here to mourn.

For some reason, the five stages of grief didn't apply to him. Or at least not like it did with everyone else. The cosmic entity would mourn many things here. 

Every soul killed, every planet destroyed, every moment of time wasted fighting a war only to inevitably lose. He also grieved over his old forms, memories, family and childhood. 

It's possible to grieve the loss of anything if you have enough emotional connection to it. So why does he feel so stupid grieving over something that he will never have or get back? 

He made his choice, now he has to suffer the consequences.

For powers based on weather, nature, the earth itself, he was stationed so far away from it. Water, wind, lightning, snow and ice. As a destroyer, those are the aspects of his power he used most. 

Nature, warmth, blood, life was pushed aside.

He was in denial for most of his life, then anger briefly, seemed to skip bargaining and have an overarching depression. Sometimes going back to anger when his tears ran dry. Forget acceptance, there was only numbness.

There were also times where he couldn't dare think about it all, too tired after a mission or just cant. His mind would outright refuse to form any sensible thought besides basic instincts, even if he was told if he didn't need them.

Warmth, comfort, food, shelter.

Normally at those times he would put himself into the farthest corner of creation he could find, space was always expanding so it was different every time. Shove his starry form into the darkest part and wail. Scream. Shout, cry, claw his eyes out. 

In space no one can hear you scream right?

That was the side of him he tucked away long ago, it kept him safe. That part of him hated being so hidden, it wanted to be free, run, play. It wanted to go back home to his family, snuggle up in warmth and comfort. Maybe even dozing off for a nap, he was so tired. Having someone cook his favorite food and stuff his face. Feeding off of star energy never gave him the full feeling of a warm and satisfied belly.

He was so hungry…

However, one night, he made a mistake. He showed that side to someone, his brother no less.

He was afraid to let it show, both in fear of harming it and not being able to force it back down in the depths of his soul.

Moon promised to not tell anyone, and he could trust him. They pinky promised after all. No one breaks a pinky promise.

Granted, there was a very long talk about it afterwards. As well as Moon unleashing his inner scolding voice once Lunar caved and told him how he was currently coping. So under the condition that he came to his older brother when he felt like this, the secret was safe. No more crying into the vastness of space. It was much more comfy to let himself be a pathetic cry baby while warm, comforted and rocked to sleep.

So that's where the small astral was now, assumed in their normal positions for nights like this.

In Moon's room, as to not risk waking Dazzle or Jack again, tucked under the blankets in bed. The older brother leaning back against the pillows and headboard, rocking in place a little as the music box in his chest played. One arm holding him and rubbing his back, the other hand cradling the little head against his chest. 

The younger brother curled up into a little ball on his lap, so small yet not small enough. Face smooshed into the fabric of Moon's sweater, the last few droplets of his tears clung to his lashes. Despite being asleep, he looked so tired.

Too tired.

Dark circles under the kind eyes, weak little puffs of air fanning over the blanket he was tucked in. Too weak to even snore like he usually does, tiny, adorable soft snores. It felt too silent without them even as the lullaby played its tune.

It was almost like how it was when Lunar was newer to the world, in the daycare. If only it was under better circumstances.

Moon sighed as he looked down at Cosmo-

Lunar. This is Lunar in his arms, his little brother.

He was glad the little astral was seeking him out for support and comfort, but at the same time, this wasn't fixing the issue. Which Moon still didn't know. All Lunar would do when he came to him like this was cry in his arms until he passed out, very few words were ever spoken.

“What am I gonna do with you…?” he murmurs the question to no one in particular.

“...This is the third time this week, bud.” 

And it was only Thursday. Meaning everyday this week he came to cry except for one other day because he was busy with astral stuff. Everytime he looks at Lunar he regrets letting him choose on his own. He should've stepped in, anyone should've stepped in. 

Yes, it was Lunar's choice at the end of the day, but that didn't mean they shouldn't have at least been there for him. Let him know they love him, cherish him, and wish that he would stay home. Home was with them, they were family and family don't get separated by galaxies, light years and dimensions.

Moon leaned his head back to rest on the headboard with a grumble, it was too late as the damage was already done. When Lunar wasn't hanging out with them all on his breaks or crying himself to sleep in Moon's arms, he was barely around. No matter how much he wanted to, needed to, talk to the small astral more about this he couldn't.

Not to mention that damn pinky promise, he could never betray that. Despite every other fiber of his being wanting to grab Lunar by the shoulders and shake him until his little brother will finally tell everyone what's wrong.

Moon was smart, dammit, but not smart enough to read minds.

He looked back down at the sleeping, teary eyed bundle of baby blue in his arms. At least he was comfy, and safe. It irked him to no end that this is the only thing he can do to help, until Lunar spills his guts or burns up into dust like a meteorite entering the atmosphere.

Although it was foolish of Lunar to think that this safety net could last forever, nothing safe ever does for him. Of course someone was going to walk in eventually.

There was a steady knock on his bedroom door.

“Moon. I require your assistance. Are you decent?” the distorted robotic voice muffled through the door, it was obviously Molten.

“Depends, what is it? Im…busy…” he replied back loud enough to be heard through the door but not to wake Lunar but the poor thing was dead to the world.

Yeah, busy being the only current stability for his emotionally unstable brother.

Molten paused, as if loading his next response.

“You are not busy, I have not sensed any distinct movement from your vicinity in over 30 minutes.”

The older moon model grimaced, damn robot spaghetti and his heightened security sensors.

“You are a terrible liar.”

Fuck.

“I can also hear your music box.”

Double fuck.

“May I come in?”

Moon had two options at this point. Break his pinky promise to Lunar and let Molten in, but let the poor thing continue sleeping. Or keep Molten out long enough to wake up Lunar so he can teleport out of here, keeping the secret but also risk raising suspicion.

He glanced down at the small astral, Lunar looked so snug and cozy. The blankets tucked all the way up to his chin, lips slightly parted as sleepy breaths escaped them.

Moon didn't have the heart to wake him up.

Screw it, at least he tried. No matter how half-assed it was, this was probably for the best anyway.

“Sure, but be quiet.”

The door quietly clicked open as Molten peaked his head in but that sound alone made Lunar stir and whimper. His body tensed up as he gripped Moon's sweater tighter, sniffling miserably. Which was a shock to the tangle of wires. Last time he recalled, Lunar could sleep through a hurricane.

Now just a door opening startled him?

Upon seeing the small astrals distress Molten came in and quietly shut the door again, this time locking it. All while the older brother tried to soothe the one in his arms.

“Shhh… You're ok…” he whispered and held the sniveling form closer, turning up the volume of his music box ever so slightly.

The two waited with bated breath until Lunar settled again. Or at least Moon did, he wasn't sure about Molten.

A few tears escaped as he shifted, a sad little noise at the back of his voice box. Then bringing up his other hand, the one not clinging to Moon's clothes, and bit down on his knuckle. Melting back into his brother's warmth after nibbling on it.

At this point, Moon just let him.

Molten took the chance to shuffle over next to the bed, his one good eye scanned over Lunar inquisitively. Then blinked a few times in confusion after seemingly finding no physical ailments.

“What is wrong with him?” Molten’s emotionless voice was the same but at a lower volume.

Despite the voice and words, Moon knew that there was no malice behind them. 

“I'm gonna be honest, Molten…”

The Moon model let out a long, frustrated sigh, he hated not knowing things.

“I have a few ideas, but I don't know anything for sure.”

Molten whirred like a robotic hum in thought.

“Perhaps, I could help.” it was said like a statement but was clearly more of a question.

Moon chuckled and fondly shook his head. Bless this weird, melded bear and his mannerisms.

“That's sweet, but I doubt it. Plus, this is more of something Lunar has to tell us.”

“...Try me.”

He chuckled again, Molten has been learning some of Moon's snarky remarks and is now using them against him.

“Ah, I see I've raised you well.”

“What are his… Symptoms?”

Where to even begin?

“I'm not really sure if it's ’symptoms’ per say, but he's been coming to me for a while now to just… cry.”

“Cry…about what?” another whirr.

A mere half an hour ago, Lunar was babbling about something to do with having to eradicate a whole species. How he was able to do it with a flick of a wrist and how that scared him, terrified of how much power he has. Moon was sure there were more gruesome details, but they couldn't be heard through the smaller astrals cries.

He held Lunars grieving frame closer to him.

“Astral duties.” he said simply.

They were ahead of schedule but at what cost? Lunar's humanity?

“Can he not complete them?”

“He technically can, but he can't handle the mental strain that comes with them…”

Molten took a moment to calculate what he learned, researching his personal database and the web.

“T-they trusted me, Moonie! I didn't wanna do it!”

Just thinking about his little brother's exhausted sobs made him want to never let Lunar out of his head in the first place.

“Lunar struggles with the responsibility of his tasks, could that be Peter Pan syndrome?” Molten spoke up again.

The older moon model wasn't a fool, in his own attempts to figure out what was possibly causing Lunar so much agony he came across it. Although he wasn't a therapist, he didn't want to touch that idea with a ten foot pole. It's not even a clinical diagnosis, or at least so far to his knowledge.

In the most basic of terms, it is where an adult struggles with the responsibilities of adulthood and will often display immature or “childish” behavior.

That's when Moon came to a horrifying realization.

Thinking back to those big pink eyes, and comparing them to their current blue counterparts.

His face fell.

“...Can it even be considered Peter Pan syndrome if he was never an adult in the first place?” 

“Did Lunar not specify that he was an adult on multiple occasions?” the tangle of wires tilted his head.

That was true, but Lunar also said he was “fine” on many occasions and that was a fucking lie.

Moon ran a hand down his face with a small groan.

“Yeah, that's about as good as a kid saying ‘I'm a big boy now’ and then tying their shoes wrong.”

Even in the most recent times, postmortem but before godhood, Lunar still displayed his sweet little habits. 

Nibbling on the thumb of his glove when he thought others weren't looking or when he was sleepy. Rocking or swaying himself from side to side to self-soothe. Hiding behind others when intimidated or scared.

They all thought that was just Lunar being Lunar, but what they didn't realize was the correlation between said actions and person.

Lunar being himself wasn't just his quirks, that was him being a child. Those “Lunar” quirks were the quirks of a child.

Molten seemed to be having similar thoughts, as he let out a robotic sigh.

“I… Don't know what to say.”

Moon shook his head, looking at the tangle of wires in sympathy.

“It's alright, I didn't either.”

“Do you know what to say now?”

The older brother looked away from Molten, focusing his full attention on his little brother's face.

Even with a more mature form, those little characteristics still shine through. Especially in moments like these.

His thumb dangerously close to his mouth, eyelids fluttering as he dreamed, tiny soft coos and whimpers escaping from him.

Clinging to Moon with a death grip, so weak yet so strongly.

He was desperate.

God dammit, why didn't they do an intervention sooner?

The older moon model’s face hardened slightly in determination.

“I know exactly what I need to say to him. It's just a matter of getting him at a good enough time to actually listen.”

But moments with the small astral were few and far between, let alone a moment where they're alone and the smaller one of them isn't crying their eyes out.

Moon shook it off with a little huff, now wasn't the time for this.

“Anyway, you said you needed help with something?”

Molten straightened up again, remembering his reason for coming here in the first place.

“Jack clogged the toilet.” 

“How?! We don't even shit, food gets converted into biofuel!”

“I believe he was showing Dazzle how humans dispose of deceased pet fish.”

“With what?”

“Many, many goldfish crackers.”

Moon took a simulated deep breath, he could lovingly strangle Jack later. Solar’s damn kid will be the death of him. He was cute but a cute menace. At least when Lunar was little he was an absolute sweetheart despite small bursts of occasional sass.

Honestly? Lunar was probably still that way. Underneath all that pain and hurt.

“I'll deal with that later, when I'm not currently nap-trapped.” he couldn't help but smile at that last part affectionately.

He hasn't been nap-trapped by the warm, sleepy weight in so long. 

Molten nodded as he began to shuffle away from the bed, quietly as possible to not disturb the sleeping astral.

“Very well, I shall leave you two in peace.”

“Uh huh, thanks.”

Thankfully Molten was already out the door, because as if on cue, the small astral was starting to stirr. Only to jump awake as the sound of the door clicking closed.

Lunar awoke with a start, jerking his head up in a motion so quick it looked like it hurt. Quickly looking around with tears in his eyes as he let out tiny, pathetic whimpers. Trying to take in his surroundings to know where he is, know that he's safe.

Sure, he was making little noises as he slept, but Moon thought he was dreaming not having a nightmare.

The older brother shushed the younger, lightly patting his back to help soothe his choked out breaths.

“Easy there, baby blue. Shh. Look at me, look at me…” he whispered, gently cupping the periwinkle cheek with his hand.

When those blue eyes looked up at him his mechanical heart sank.

Tears welling up in them, pupils that were shrunk to pinpricks in fear, bottom lip trembling.

As those teary eyes looked up at his older brother, the rapid breathing started to slow down. Taking in every detail of that familiar face and its loving expression, the soft touch of Moon's thumb stroking his cheek and wiping away some tears.

Heavy eyes drooped back closed, sniffling as that sweet little face buried itself into the large palm.

“Bubba…” there was a little mumble against the hand.

Good god, he sounds so small.

“M’sorry.”

“Shh, no. There is nothing you have to apologize for.”

Not anymore. Not for as long as you live. That's how it should be.

“But-”

“But nothing, Lunar.”

“Mmh…”

Littler hands came up to rub his eyes sleepily, letting out a large yawn. The cutest yawn one could ever hear. That belongs to Lunar and Lunar only.

The small astral looked like a tired toddler woken up too early from a nap, about ready to collapse back into sleep again.

So then why, on this godforsaken hunk of space rock they call planet Earth, did he move to get up? Or at least try to, his movements uncoordinated and clumsy.

The older moon model immediately held him in place, he wasn't leaving so easily. Not on his fucking watch.

“Wh- stop. Where are you going?”

“Gotta get back to work.” he said with a shrug, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

This work wasn't like the daycare, it was never ending. At least at the daycare he could sleep at night, take breaks, play along with the kids and even take a nap with them.

Lunar moved to get up again, only managing to sit up a bit before Moon held him back again.

“Mooonn…!” the small astral scrubbed at his eyes again, stubbornly trying to wake up more.

That whine sounded way too familiar.

“Like hell I'm letting you leave, not like this. You need to rest more than just half an hour!”

“Astrals don't need sleep.”

“The bags under your eyes say otherwise, bud.”

On these nights, Lunar would usually cry his poor little heart out for varying lengths of time. Ranging from either a few minutes to an hour. Whatever time isn't spent crying, is spent passed out in an exhausted sleep.

Lunar just pouted, which really wasn't helping the sleepy and stubborn toddler look.

“They're going to ping me eventually!”

“I don't care. Fuck the astrals, you're clearly tired. You need to rest.”

“There's no rest in war…”

Moon was going to find Gemini and choke the ever living hell out of them. How dare they make his baby brother sign up for a fucking space war.

The two just stared at each other for a moment, silently challenging the other brother.

Then in one swift motion, Lunar launched himself off the bed with a new found energy. Only to have Moon close on his proverbial tail, grabbing after him before Lunar could type the coordinates back to his home dimension.

It doesn't feel like home…

They both stumbled over the blankets that were tangled around them, tumbling onto the floor before each of them sprang back up again.

“Lunar, I swear-” he grabbed at the device, trying to snatch it away.

“No! I have shit to do, I'm not gonna spend time as a pathetic crybaby any longer!” the smaller astral turned away, keeping the device out of Moon's grasp.

Only for Moon to easily reach over his head and snatch it away.

Damn shortness.

He practically growled as he tried to swipe it back, hopping on his tippy toes as the older moon model held it out of his reach.

“Lunar, you are not a crybaby. You regressed-”

“Don't use that fucking word! I don't do that, now give it-!”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don't!"

“I'll give it back, on one condition.”

Lunar huffed and puffed his cheeks out, face slightly flushed pink in anger. Stopping his flailing in order to cooperate somewhat with Moon.

“Fineee, what do you want?”

His older brother crossed his arms, tucking the device away just in case the small astral got any sneaky ideas.

“... I want you to look me in the eye and tell me this helps.” his voice softened but remained firm.

Lunar tightened his fists by his sides, why did Moon have to be so smart?

Ever since that fateful day, the day Lunar collapsed into his big brother's arms at the sound of his music box. The day Lunar showed someone the cracks that were forming on his fragile mental state. The deal his brother gave him.

“Either you come to me when you need comfort, or I tell the astrals that this is taking a toll on you. This isn't healthy.”

He's spent too much time here already. Sleeping and crying like a dumb baby.

“Please. I-I don't have time for this…”

“I gave you this device, I can just as easily take it away.”

“Blackmail? Real kind of you Moon.” Lunar scoffed.

“If it's the only way to get you to listen, then so be it.”

“And I can just as easily break your knee caps!”

“Heh. Yeah, I'd still be taller than you without them. Shortie.” Moon snickered.

That made the smaller astral fume, eye twitching in irritation. Moon swore he could see little sparks of lightning come off of him.

“You're playing with fire…”

“Correction, I'm playing with lightning. But the longer we stand here and argue, the longer you're still here.” he smirked.

Lunar let out an annoyed huff and dramatically groaned, rolling his eyes.

“Ok. Coming to you does help a little. There. Happy now?”

Moon hummed in faux innocence, clearly not satisfied with his brother's tone.

“Once more, with feeling.”

“Oh, fuck you!”

“Love you too, baby blue.”

The younger brother looked about ready to combust, letting out an adorably grumpy noise. He hates how he folds like a house of cards at that nickname, reminding him of simpler times.

He missed cuddling with Moonie, even though he's been a bad little brother. Meanies shouldn't get special snuggles with their Bubba, no matter how much he cries and wails for them.

“Fine! Regressing does help! It helps a lot. Now can I have the damn thing back now?!”

The older brother immediately tossed the device back to Lunar, the younger brother fumbling to catch it in time. Once he did, he was met with a surprise hug from Moon.

“See? Was that so hard?” Moon said softly.

He stopped dead in his tracks, he wanted to be upset. He wanted to be pissed!

But he just couldn't, so he melted into that comforting embrace. Unable to resist hugging back and resting his head on his brother's chest, hiding his face out of shame.

“Yes… It was.” he murmurs.

The older moon model sighed and pressed a familial kiss onto the younger's forehead.

“I know.”

Lunar wanted to curl up back in bed and never leave. He wanted to start crying again, take another nap in those safe arms against the twinkling music box.

He didn't want to pull away, but he did regardless.

Lunar typed out the dimension signature and correct coordinates, the portal appearing in front of him.

But before he went through, he dove back into Moon's arms one last time.

“I love you too, brother.”

The brother in question was a little surprised but softly and chuckled and hugged him back.

“Go get ‘em tiger. And come back safe, got it?”

Lunar managed a little laugh himself and nodded, pulling back to look at Moon again.

“I will."

That earned him a hand ruffling the top of his hood.

“Good, now get going before the portal closes up.”

The smaller astral sighed and nodded, reluctantly pulling away fully from Moon's arms. 

No he did not take slower steps to stay in the warmth of the room longer, thank you very much.

As soon as Lunar stepped through the portal he could feel the coldness biting back into him, so sharp it was almost painful. Before the portal timer counted down to zero, he turned back to his older brother one last time.

Only to be met with that same unwavering smile and a gentle wave goodbye. He swallowed the sob in his throat and waved back as the portal closed, leaving him back in the empty vastness of space. 

He looked out into the stars with a heavy heart.

The stars stared back.

Chapter Text

To cast my shadow by the holy sun…

My spirit moans with a sacred pain…

✦ 

There are many types of stars, coming in all shapes and sizes. Different stages of life and power. Some greater, some lesser. Varying in density, color and gravitational pull.

While in space Lunar has learned a lot, and in some aspects, probably too much.

He learned about the stars, planets, astrals and space itself. Which was cool, it was as if he was in an astrology class in a school he never went to.

However, other things weren't so fun to learn.

How to kill. How to destroy. How to intimidate.

Would it be different if he chose a different path then destroyer? Possibly. Although, he had a sinking feeling that the other astral branches weren't so different at the end of the day.

If he was a scout, he would still see horrors beyond his comprehension.

If he was a creator, he would have to create horrors beyond his comprehension. To which those said creations would have to be sent off to fight in a war, just like him.

Because it couldn't be as simple as creating happy planets and cute creatures could it?

Most importantly? He's learned things about himself. Things he never, ever, wanted to be true.

He can destroy a planet the size of Mars with the flick of a wrist, not even break a sweat.

He can put on the facade of a kind god, so effortlessly, yet only to send his devotee's to damnation after the fact.

He gets nauseated at more than just dark star power. He suddenly wants to throw up his guts at the sight of people infected with it.

He realizes just how much of a pathetic loser he is. He has to go to his brother to cry almost every damn day.

He knows how to exploit weakness, manipulate, torture.

Long ago, Lunar promised to never do the same things Eclipse did to him. Never wanting to become the thing that he hated the most.

Lately, it seems like he's doing nothing but acting like Eclipse. 

A monster.

Lunar has been called many things, sweetheart, baby blue, little guy, itty bitty, dummy, idiot, mistake. Because he was all those things, every one of those names is deserved. Even the bad ones.

Never, in his entire little life, has he been called a monster. At least not anytime it could make sense or by someone else.

Lunar wasn't a monster, he couldn't be a monster.

He could be the worst person in the world but still not be a monster, he would just be in denial.

Lunar was a sweetheart. A cute, little, sweetheart.

Many life forms had said the same thing once they saw the starry god in the flesh.

“You look too cute to be a destroyer!”

It was meant to be a complement. To them, he would just smile and nod, he knew they didn't know better. With Lunar's track record, he should be offended. 

But he couldn't help but agree with them.

That's what he always was, from the second he was created. The cute yet sassy little brother, a sweet little face and personality no one could say no to. Down to his very code, that's what he was. No matter how hard he tried, that code would linger.

Unless you commit the act of catharsis.

Shut up, little boy, no one asked you.

He wouldn't have time for that anyway, not with the amount of emotions he has to release.

Lunar was pretty much always busy, his “breaks” were just small breathers to recharge his power. He was still a new astral after all, his power probably has much more growing to do.

He was grateful for the lull in between huge tasks though. 

Sometimes he would have to deal with planets that had little to no other life forms, sometimes they were all already dead. It didn't make it any easier to see, picturing what that planet was once like.

If it was simply busy work, then why did it still feel so exhausting?

Using star power was a lot easier to pull off, the pulls and tugs on his core became familiar. The power rushed through his nonexistent veins from his chest, to his shoulders, down his arms and out his hands. Or different areas, depending on where he was focusing his abilities to.

With one last pull from his core, he pulverized the last of the corrupted planet. The only thing left behind were cosmic dust and matter that will eventually become space debris or meteors.

That's when he got a ping from Taurus, not even getting a moment to breathe.

“Cosmos, your assistance is needed.”

Well, it was less of a ping and more of a mind fuck. The booming voice echoing loudly in his head, with no mute button.

Lunar cringed at the name, but responded anyway. He was to follow orders after all.

“Yes, sir.”

Teleporting his being with a blip, he re-atomized his astral form. Immediately upon doing so, he readied his power, ready to fight off any surprise attacks.

He learnt to do that after learning the hard way. Once no threat was imminent, he lowered his arms and looked around.

This planet was fine. He couldn't sense a drop of dark star infection anywhere.

What the fuck?

Lunar jumped a little out of his confused stupor when the astral bull laid a large hand on his shoulder. Now that the smaller astral was facing him, his hand retreated.

“Good, you are here.”

“I-I don't understand, I can't sense anything wrong. Am I missing something?”

Taurus simply turned around and walked, making a ‘follow me’ gesture. “Come, we need to discuss this with Leo. I will explain soon.”

He just nodded and followed Taurus, walking in the shadow of the larger astral. Walking through the vibrant forest to a clearing on a hill, The lion astral looking up in the sky.

When Lunar saw it, he nearly passed out.

In the peaceful, cloudless sky, there was something that clearly didn't belong.

A gaint fucking planet, glowing in that sickly pinkish purple that came with dark star infection. Looking way too close for comfort.

It was heading right for them.

Lunar didn't have blood, but if he did, it would be rushing from his face to his feet. Leaving him pale and shaky, like right now.

In a beautiful light blue sky, one not unlike his home planet, had a glowing mass of disgusting infection in the middle. A planet, once full of life like the very one he was standing on, was now looming overhead. It looked still, but he knew better. That thing was approaching fast. 

The surrounding area was casted in a shadow, an unholy shadow. A vibrant land, so full of life, soon to be wiped away in an instant. It looked biblical. 

Then again, he is a god.

Lunar heard about the rapture in passing, he wasn't too savvy on religion. Although, he was certain if there was ever an rapture, a rapture of a sick and twisted hell, this would be what it looked like.

The astral lion turned around to face them, his eyes immediately landing on Lunar. He looked about ready to bitch slap Taurus, his aura suddenly becoming more fiery.

“You brought Cosmos here!?” he shouted, his hands throwing themselves in the air. 

“He is a destroyer as well.”

“Yeah, a new destroyer! Leave him out of this, he's barely out of training compared to us!” 

Ouch, it was true but it still hurt.

“Worry not, he can handle it.” he said smoothly.

“I'm sorry, are we even looking at the same thing?!”

What is that thing? What is that thing? What is that thing? That's not right, there's no way any astral would have let a planet get this bad. What the hell happened for it to be like this?

“He has proven himself capable on numerous occasions.”

“Regardless! It was barely infected a while ago!”

“Explain.”

Leo took a deep breath to calm his wild temper.

“There's something else at play here, it was in its normal orbit and only slightly infected. Now it's hurtling towards here and oozing with dark star power.”

Their words blurred out to his ringing ears, staring at the mass in the sky. Baby blue eyes never leaving its gaze, he couldn't look away.

From the sounds of it, even the two larger astrals didn't know how to deal with this. 

In all the time in the universe, this has never happened before? Surely in infinite space, planets collide all the time. 

Please, tell him that events like this happen all the time.

There was suddenly a pair of fingers snapping in front of his face.

“Aye, new stuff. Eyes over here.” Leo's voice was gruff like the lion he was.

Lunar didn't even realize he was barely breathing until his vents forced him to take a sharp inhale, gasping as he was startled out of his daze.

“W-wha huh?” the smaller astral stuttered.

Leo just shook his head and clicked his tongue in disappointment, turning back to Taurus.

“See what I mean? The local wildlife has been doing the same thing, man and beast alike.”

The astral bull hummed and folded his arms. “This is certainly a stronger affliction than usual, that much is obvious.”

“Duh, so how are we gonna fix it big guy? I tried purifying it, but it just got infected again.” Leo rolled his eyes.

“There are other life forms on that planet, are there not?”

“Yes, but they're all too far gone.”

That lack of nausea only lasted for a short while, because now Lunar feels more sick than ever. He knew what “too far gone” meant, it was when something becomes so infected with the dark energy for so long that nothing is left. 

Nothing but the air it would breathe.

For robots like Dazzle's old body or even the creator's vessel, that was one thing. Flesh and bone was another.

For not having eaten in who knows how long, he suddenly feels like he's going to lose his metaphorical breakfast. Last time he actually threw up it was molten star power and that shit burned. No thanks, not today satan.

“You got any ideas, newbie?”

The smaller astral swallowed thickly and looked back up at the astral lion, who had his brow raised and a hand on his hip. Expecting Lunar to say something, anything.

He briefly looked at Taurus, who had a similar expression but a lot less threatening.

“We could… Uh… Destroy it? Before it hits the atmosphere?” 

Wow, good thinking Lunar. They definitely didn't think of that one before!

Leo barked out a laugh.

“HA, I wish. That was the first thing I did. Trust me, I tried.”

The astral bull ignored his coworker's tone and shook his head.

“No, it's too close now. Any pieces we destroy would land here, spreading the infection.” 

Destroying planets was messy, especially ones with a large mass, density and heavily infected. It seemed like this one ticked all the boxes on the “pain in the ass” checklist.

Taurus sighed, a brief hint of guilt flickered in his eyes.

“Im afraid this leaves us with only one option…”

Lunar titled his head, Leo's eyes widened. He understood something that the smaller astral didn't, and based on his expression, it wasn't good.

“No, you can't possibly be giving in that easily.” 

“It is the only thing left we can possibly do.”

“Don't you hate ‘Code Phoenix A’ even more than me?”

Since when were there codes?! Did Lunar miss something? His curiosity got the better of him.

The smaller astral awkwardly cleared his throat. “...What's ‘Code Phoenix A’?”

The two larger astrals suddenly turned to him, as if they forgot he was there. Taurus had an uncharacteristic look of helplessness on his face, then looking down in shame. 

What the hell? 

Leo then turned back to the astral bull so fast he could've gotten whiplash, his mane sparking up in a flame again.

“You didn’t tell him?!”

“Tell me what…?”

“Taurus, you did not just skip over that code in training. Tell me you didn't.”

“Tell me what?!”

Sparks of blue lightning increased in volume as he raised his voice, lightly shocking and burning the surrounding fauna. The crackles loud enough to be taken seriously, he can get yelled at for using his powers emotionally later. 

The cosmic bull looked at the smaller and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he kneeled down to Lunar's level.

The gesture was meant to make him feel safe, less intimidated. Combined with the concerning softness the larger astral was showing, his booming voice now a low rumble.

Then why did he feel so terrified?

“What I am about to tell you, is something that goes against our very being, our very duty. This is not for the faint of heart.”

Lunar took a step back out of instinct, this change was startling.

“I did not want to teach it to you just yet, for I fear what you will think of us.” he continued.

The smaller astral glanced up at Leo, who was just shaking his head sadly.

There was no going back. A large, starry hand was placed on his shoulder.

“There are rare times when there's nothing more we can do. In these instances, we tackle the problem differently.”

He felt sympathy for the larger astral, the cosmic bull looked like he was in turmoil as he spoke.

“We make it so there is nothing to infect…”

All that sympathy drained away instantly.

“No.” was all Lunar said.

When you can't cure the infection, you remove the limb altogether before it can spread further. Saving the rest of the healthy body, or in this case, the universe.

The smaller astral ripped himself away from Taurus’ hand, shaking his head vigorously.

“No.”

If they let these two planets collide, the infected mass would double. If they can't purify it now, they definitely wouldn't be able to then. 

Lunar knew what they had to do, and it made him sick. Downright disgusted.

They would have to kill a planet, full of life and not a single drop or dark star present. Home to innocent life that did nothing wrong, that never asked for this.

All in an effort to buy time for a war they were going to lose. A body that would eventually die of old age.

At the smaller stepping back, the astral bull stood up again. But made a movement like he wanted to reach out again, but Lunar didn't let him.

“Don't fucking touch me!” 

How was it even possible for his soft little voice to make such a snarl?

That brief moment of softness was over, he couldn't let the smaller astral get carried away again.

“Cosmos-”

“Leave it, big guy. He doesn't get it.” Leo just sounded tired.

His body tensed up, something stirring within his chest. His very core.

“In war, you must learn to know when to retreat.” Taurus spoke sternly now.

For Taurus? Maybe. For Lunar? Absolutely not.

“Bullshit!” 

Taurus narrowed his eyes, sizing up the smaller astral. Which wasn't very hard to do, it only served to increase its effectiveness tenfold.

“Excuse me?”

Ignoring the irony, fear, and overwhelming urge to crumble at that voice, he raised his own voice even louder.

“You heard me!”

Even Leo had his jaw dropped, he certainly never could speak to Taurus this way. 

“I can’t, I won't, retreat! I refuse to give up just because all hope is seemingly lost!” he continued, shouting now with all his might.

“We have exhausted all other options.”

“We need to save them!”

“What we need is time and we don't have it.”

Lunar had his teeth bared, glaring at the larger astral as he breathed heavily. 

The cosmic lion shook his head and broke up the fight, coming in between the two. Pushing them apart before things could get more heated, or in Lunars case, electrifying.

“Alright, that's enough! This isn't helping us come up with any other ideas!”

The astral bull just looked at him, eyes hardened in disappointment. Despite his feelings, he stood his ground. Stubborn like the bull he was and represented.

Taurus was as level headed as ever, Lunar was still pissed. Little sparks flying off him, the ground where he stood had a circle of frozen ice at his feet, the wind picking up slightly.

Funny, some would call him passionate instead.

Leo just sighed in frustration and face palmed, but then the astral lion smirked and snorted at his own stupid suggestion.

“Besides, the only way to destroy that thing is probably to just pulverize it.” his tone dripping in sarcasm, obviously not meant to be taken seriously.

Even with all their powers combined they couldn't do that, as destroyers, their powers were mostly the elements. Taurus was earth, Leo was fire, and Lunar was air and water.

But then…

There was the pressure in his chest again, a familiar pressure. Suddenly, he knew exactly what to do.

They can't destroy it safely, and they can't purify it enough to cure it. Although nothing was said about those things happening at the same time.

The small astral looked back up into the sky again, a flicker of light gold in his blue eyes. 

This has happened before, this feeling. This yearning. This want, a need. However, this time it was slightly different. A different kind of emotion, a different hurt. A different reason.  

Lunar had an idea, an awful idea.

The best way to deal with negative star power was with raw, positive star power. Dark and light. Stupid logic is still logic.

He closed his eyes for a second, he could hear every member of his family. Their voices overlapped with desperate cries and begging, yelling, tears and all.

Sun begging him to not go through with this.

Earth cried out for him to come home.

Monty yells at him for even thinking of such a thing.

Solar tells him that he's worth so much more alive.

Moon whispers a soft plea for him to rethink.

Dazzle lets out heartbreaking wails.

Jack sobs softly.

Hell, even Molten is sniffling.

But there was someone else, someone who was there since the very beginning. The one he tucked away to keep it safe. The one thing that kept him sane no matter how much he hated it, thought it made him weak.

A sweet little face, that couldn't possibly be his.

It belonged to an equally sweet little form, which just stood there. Confused and afraid, big pink eyes leaking tears. 

So he took that little face, and cradled it gently in his hands. Shushing it softly as he wrapped his arms around the small form in a warm, comforting hug. Nuzzling his face into the white fuzzy rim of the starry blue nightcap, rocking the little one back and forth.

You'll be ok, little one.

…promise?

I promise.

He hugged the little one tighter, and tighter, and tighter. Until that little form phased into him, two halves of the same person melding into one.

For once he felt whole, too bad it wasn't going to last long.

He took a deep breath, and released a soft, shaky sigh. Opening his eyes again, glaring at the sinful thing in the sky with a newfound vigor. He was angry. How dare that thing show its ugly face in his presence?

He was a god, so he is going to act like one.

Lunar ignored the tears burning behind his irises.

The two larger astrals seemed to notice the smaller astral was planning something, the suspicious quiet stretched on for far too long.

“Uhh, big guy? Is the newbie ok?” The astral lion nudged the other.

Lunar was deathly silent, too silent.

The cosmic bull knew the smaller astral better then Leo, as the second he turned to look back at Lunar he knew something wasn't right.

“Cosmos?”

Lunar was still silent.

Then without a word, he used the wind to launch him forward into the air, flying higher into the sky. To get closer, face to face with the offensive and infected mass. It was like a giant eyeball, it stared at him.

And he stared back.

Screw this, he's sick and tired of running. Crying, suffering, cowering, he was sick of it all. This is who he was, who he is. If anyone had a problem with it they can fuck off.  He was doing things his way for now on, his own way. Not Eclipses, not the dark star entities, not the astrals. 

Self love is one hell of a drug.

Below him, Leo mutters some alien swear words under his breath. 

“What is he doing?”  

Taurus now had steam practically coming out of his ears, his calm exterior crumbling at the sight of Lunar's form shooting off.

“Something incredibly foolish.” the cosmic bull grumbled.

Leo couldn't question further as Taurus was already taking off after the smaller astral, leaving naught behind but a gust of air rushing through Leo's fiery mane. After letting out a frustrated snarl, he followed close behind.

These powers did nothing but shackle Lunar, but at this moment he was free. Soaring through the stratosphere, straight towards his destiny with every bit of courage he had in his small body. Feeling the wind blow on his face, through his hood and clothes, felt incredible.

He was as free as a butterfly, his wings shan't be pinned no more.

The once soft wings were torn, scarred, battered and bruised. Haven ripped themselves off the wall they were pinned against, bleeding out along with his heart.

His invisible wings were beautiful.

Lunar was beautiful.

If only more people could see that.

From the ground, he could be only seen as a blur of baby blue and periwinkle as he broke out of the mesosphere, then into the thermosphere. 

Similar blurs of color followed him, but he paid them no mind.

It wasn't until he finally surpassed the exosphere he stopped, hovering in direct line of sight of the sickening planet. If you can even call it a planet anymore, a festering breeding pit of darkness was all that he saw.

The pressure was building up in his chest, he could feel it. The ache, stirring, light yet heavy weight of his core. It took his breath away, all just like it did once before.

“What do you think you're doing, little puck?” the astral bull glowered, his normally steady voice had an edge to it.

The smaller astral was being threatened, he didn't care.

Not bothering to turn and look at the two larger astrals, he didn't need to, he flicked his wrist. A cosmic storm brewing in an instant and created a barrier, the icy wind buffeting them away.

The pressure was growing, he could tell. His power poured out of him easily, as simple as turning on a faucet. Energy ready to be used at any moment, stronger than ever before.

Taurus fought against the winds, but even he had to admit, Lunar could be powerful when the time strikes.

He shouted out to the little blue astral with all his power.

“Cosmos!”

That was not his name.

“Cosmos, get back here. That's an order.”

He shook his head, his normally kind eyes fierce and determined. Call him an idiot as much as you want, but now? He was thinking clearly.

More clear than ever, not with purple blurring his vision. Even though it hurt.

It hurt so much.

“...My name is Lunar.” he whispered.

Taurus had to do a double take, struggling to process such utter foolishness. How can someone possibly be so willing to throw themselves away for such a small reason?

It wasn't small for Lunar.

“Your what?” he boomed.

Pressure building.

The smaller astral gritted his teeth.

Pressure building.

“I said"

Pressure building.

“My name.”

Pressure building.

“IS LUNAR!”

Every ounce of his star power bursted and shot out of his chest like a death ray.

A beam of pure power came in contact with the purple mass in the sky, the concentrated starlight of thousands of galaxies, all coming from one little core. The light engulfed the planet, swallowing it whole like a snake eating its prey in one go.

That beam came from no one other than the small astral himself. 

Not even his new form could handle all of this at once. Every atom was ripping itself apart, tearing his moaning spirit into nothing but cosmic dust. An agony only a god could understand. 

He had a mouth, but he couldn't scream.

The force knocking him back, the raw heat and power burning a hole in his clothes. Veins of glowing gold appeared on his body as they eventually gave way to cracks, forcing parts of his body apart.

Pain.

White, hot, sacred pain.

There is only one word to describe such an event.

A Supernova.

Chapter Text

And It's quiet now…

The universe is standing still…

✦

Lunar would never forget the feeling of when he died for the first time.

The loudness of the explosion was so close to his audio receptors, the heat melting every nano-machine it came in contact with. So much so that he was turned into dust, only a small singular piece remained. The same one Monty picked up, cradling it in his claws. 

But right after that unbearable heat, it was ice cold.

Floating in a sea of stars, the weightless feeling was unnerving. Instead of feeling peace of no burdens on his shoulders, it felt like a sensory deprivation tank. It felt too empty yet too full. Too close yet too far. Too claustrophobic yet too expansive. 

Lunar didn't know what he had that made this possible. A heart? A spirit? A dimensional signature? Maybe he had star power all along that made it possible?

Considering Eclipse made him, he wouldn't be surprised that the bastard did so. Probably to experiment on him or use said abilities for his own gain. Again, it wouldn't surprise him.

Although, what did surprise him was that Eclipse sounded almost scared when Puppet got him out of that space station. Obviously, he knew something Lunar didn't. The Astrals. 

That was one of the few things Eclipse had in common with Moon, they were smart, but also huge dumbasses. At least for Moon he means that with affection. Not Eclipse, that twink bitch can die in a hole for all he cares.

This time? Was incredibly different.

At first there was nothing but pain, indescribable pain. Not even his first death hurt that much, his pain sensors were already fried before the explosion could reach the rest of his body.

Whatever happened, caused him to feel the very fiber of his being ripped apart. Atoms becoming unstable, nuclear reactions, everything collapsing in on itself like a black hole.

Then he was surrounded by a loving warmth. Not too hot nor too cold, just right. A warmth he hasn't felt since he was still in Moon's mind space. 

If felt like he was being held by clouds, subconsciously nuzzling into the fluff. Lunar could never get enough of that bliss, the phantom feeling of goodnight kisses on his forehead. He missed those kisses so much. 

This is nice, he could get used to this. In fact, he wouldn't mind staying like this forever. Staying asleep forever wasn't the worst fate to ever exist.

Content, whole, and at peace.

It was as if the universe was standing still.

So of course once he was finally getting comfortable he fucking woke up again.

It was like the dreams he had with Rez or Gemini, that weird floaty feeling. Like he was dissociating or so close to the brink of sleep that he couldn't focus on anything besides the quiet.

Laying on the soft mint colored grass, opening tired eyes to look up at the star filled night sky. 

God dammit he was back here?

He wanted to bash his skull in, of course the astrals weren't going to let him off that easily.

“Whatever, might as well get this over with.” Lunar muttered to himself, pulling himself to sit up.

He was fully preparing to see a disappointed Gemini slowly shaking their head, a Rez laughing at his pathetic display. Hell, maybe even a dead Eclipse, Nexus or even Libra's form looming over him.

No, he saw none of those. The figure standing on the hill wasn't one he ever saw before.

He stood up to get a better look, but there wasn't much to be seen.

They were quite a bit taller than him, wearing a dark blue cloak with ornate designs swirling over the fabric. Outstretched was a pale arm, with an equally pale hand holding…

Holy shit was that a scythe?

Oh my god, is he about to meet with death itself?!

The hooded figure tilted their head towards the small astrals direction, humming in acknowledgement.

“Hm? Oh, good. You're awake, little one” the voice was deep, soft, slightly feminine.

Ok. Yep. This definitely wasn't the usual crap Lunar dealt with.

Despite the crippling curiosity, he found himself standing still. Blinking and rubbing his eyes to make sure he was seeing this right.

She must've noticed the smaller astrals hesitation, chuckling softly as she tapped the end of her scythe on the ground next to her. Beckoning him over to stand closer.

“Come. I am not here to hurt you, I am here to talk.”

“I don't believe you…” was the immediate response.

“I don't blame you, you've been through a lot. More than you should've ever been exposed to, especially for your young spirit.”

Curiosity won over. Suddenly he was tripping over his feet to get next to her.

“What do you mean young spirit? I'm an adult!”

She just snorted out a laugh.

“Uh huh, sure you are.”

Alright, who is this bitch and who does she think she is?

“Excuse the fu- ugh. Why am I here? Are you death or something…?” he tiredly scrubbed his face with his hand. He was getting sick of this, he wanted to go back to sleep again.

Once she turned to look at him, he could see her better. Well, kind of.

The hood over her head covered her face like the way Nebula had her features swallowed in a void of black, except two glowing eyes. Unlike Nebula, the glowing color was white, wore a dress with a corset, her cloak had no star or astral motifs on it and did he mention the scythe?!

It was obvious she wasn't an astral, nor human despite her humanoid form. A being of power, for sure, but Lunar didn't know what that power was.

“The astrals have told you that you're the first of your kind, yes?”

The smaller astral nodded hesitantly, but still gave her the side eye.

The eyes softened and sighed in sympathy.

“The astrals lie, that is not true.”

Lunar had to do a double take. His previous suspicious glare was replaced with a dropped jaw and wide eyes.

What the fuck does she mean they lie? That implies they lied about more than this! He was already pissed off that Taurus kept code Phoenix A, which is apparently something very important, from him.

“I'm sorry, what?!”

The figure cloaked in blue was a good bit taller than him, so she bent down. He had a feeling that his small stature wasn't the only reason she did this.

“There have been many like you Lunar.”

“Then why did I not hear about them?! Can I talk to one? Are you one of them?!”

She sadly shook her head, a fingerless gloved hand was placed on his shoulder.

“They all die, either hunted for their power or crumble to insanity from the mental weight of it all. None of them have ever made it as far as you have.”

The smaller astral was about to ramble on more until he heard that. He froze, but her touch was oddly familiar, comforting.

“In the ever expanding cosmos, mistakes are made. Unfortunate things happen, errors occur…”

She paused to move her hand to his chest, right where his core was held. His star power.

“Sometimes, a poor little white dwarf exceeds the Chandrasekhar limit.” she continued slowly so he could understand.

“The chanda-what now?” he deadpanned, now he was more confused than ever.

The cloaked figure chuckled and shook her head fondly.

“That's not for me to explain, but to put it in short, you defied the very laws of astrophysics. You pushed yourself into runaway nuclear fission… ”

Lunar wasn't a science nerd, that was more of Moon's deal. However, even though he had a sinking feeling of what happened, he just wished it wasn't true.

“Your core collapsed.”

No.

“You made a supernova.”

No.

The smaller astral stood there for a second, staring blankly at her while processing the information.

He finally got clarity, he finally accepted himself, he finally felt free and happy and all the good fuzzy feelings he missed. Only to explode like a dying star?! Only to die?!

Wait a minute…

He suddenly turned away to throw what can only be described as a mini tantrum. Punching the air, kicking the ground beneath his feet, all before screaming into the sky.

“I FUCKING BLEW UP AGAIN?!”

Lunar heard some failed attempts to cover up snickering from her, but he didn't care at the moment. 

He was dead, he can kick and scream as much as he wants to without the astrals on his ass. He more than deserves it, it's been long overdue. So he screamed some more.

“I HATE THIS STUPID JOKE, FUCK YOU ECLIPSEEEEE!”

Lunar angrily stared back at the stars with ragged breathing.

Those damn stars.

Those stupid, fucking, lying, good for nothing, pieces of shit stars.

After hearing more audible laughter, he whipped his head around to her. 

You couldn't see her mouth, but she was smiling with her eyes and her shoulders were shaking with giggles. Once the cloaked figure noticed the smaller astral turning around, she stopped and covered it with a cough. Trying to act nonchalant but still very much grinning.

“Are you done…? Got it out of your system?”

“Yessss.” he groaned 

“Do you feel any better?”

“AUGH NO!”

She snorted again before she sobered up.

“You are correct, to a certain degree. You didn't ‘die’ per say, but rather your very being was torn apart. Atom by atom.”

Ah, so that explains the pain.

A shiver went up the smaller astrals spine at the memory.

“There is a reason for this visit, little one.”

Oh.

Yeah, he had a feeling this wasn't going to last long. Lunar knew when things were too good to be true, because they usually were.

“Great, let me guess, Monty is building me a new body?” he breathed out tiredly, already accepting his fate.

The glowing eyes just blinked before she shook her head.

“No.”

That perked him back up again.

“What…?” he muttered.

She made a sweeping gesture with her other arm, turning to display the whole place to the smaller astral. From the minty grass to the starry sky with a full moon.

“In this place, time means nothing. The universe is standing still, waiting for you to make a choice.”

“...A choice?”

No, that can't possibly be true. Lunar doesn't get to choose. And when he does choose, he always chooses wrong. 

“You have two options.”

With a sudden movement, she uses her scythe to point to the stars in a swiping motion. The crescent moon blade glowed faintly.

He totally didn't jump out of fear, he's already dead. Dead things can't be afraid.

“Either you stay dead and have your cosmic dust returned to your family. Your ashes, if you will. You would stay in a state of eternal sleep, at peace, forever.”

Not going to lie, the smaller astral thought that sounded nice.

She swept her scythe to the other direction, pointing towards the grassy hills.

“Or I bless you with a second chance, ensure you get the life that was intended for you…”

Why would he go back to a painful existence? How can he trust her? How can she know what he needs when he doesn't even know himself?

She turned her head to look at him in the eye, the glowing voids of white meeting with baby blue.

“A chance to make things right.”

He shouldn't.

“A chance to see your family again.”

He really shouldn't 

“A chance for you to grow and flourish…”

He couldn't do it.

“Like the beautiful flower you are, and will bloom to become.”

Oh no.

She brings the scythe back to her side, the sharp silver pommel slightly stabbing the soil underneath.

“What will it be? Take as long as you need, time does not pass until you choose.”

Oh no.

The cloaked figure was serious, this was real.

Lunar looked to the stars, the same way she was pointing. 

He thought about how often he wished he was never brought back. Probably so much so that it wasn't healthy, suicidal even. From the moment he woke up again, it felt like he was constantly going and going and going. First it was the trauma, then the usual shenanigans, then Eclipse coming back from the dead far too many times, then the star shit.

He would love to sleep and never wake up, sleeping at last, eternal sleep. Forever. 

Lunar wanted that, but it was selfish.

The fact that his cosmic ashes would be sent to his family, forever laid to rest in peace because he wished for it. He's sure his family would respect his wish in full stride, have a beautiful funeral, maybe scatter his ashes in the lake behind the family home. Play all of Lunars favorite songs, even the stupid ones. 

Give speeches on how much they loved him… share wonderful memories… spread his legacy…

He should have his heart warmed by such actions, but it made the smaller astral sick.

They didn't need him, Lunar knew that. He needed his family but they didn't need him. Hell, they might be better off since he's left for space, even more so if dead.

So then why would they mourn him? 

Why can't he wrap his head around it?

He doesn't want to die because he'll miss his family, how pathetic and selfish is that?

Lunar then looked towards the grassy fields, towards the earth, his home.

Home.

He could finally tell everyone he was sorry, how much he loves them, how much he missed them.

He could collapse in Moon's arms and cry as much as he wanted, listening to the lullabies on his music box. Lunar missed how Moon would rub or pat his back whenever they hugged, sometimes even rocking or swaying in place.

He could jump into Sun's arms, have his brother lift him up and spin him around. Lunar missed how he would wake up and walk downstairs in a sleepy haze, Sun would be cooking breakfast. Always asking if Lunar wanted cheese with his eggs, despite already knowing the answer.

He could throw himself on top of Solar, be met with a huff of affection and annoyance before happily hugging the smaller back. Lunar missed how Solar would sometimes take his smaller projects with him to wherever the family was hanging out, humming a tune as he worked.

He missed how Monty would grip him in a gentle headlock and ruffle his hood like it was hair, an action he did the second Lunar got his first body.

He missed how Earth would purposely do something extra silly or dumb just to get Lunar to crack out a giggle. 

He missed how Dazzle would always make Lunar be the magical fairy when they played fairies and mermaids. He missed how Jack still had remnants of his security code and would follow Lunar around like a lost puppy wanting to play. He missed how Molten would always keep a watchful eye over all of them, the presence was oddly comforting.

For a decision that was literally life or death, the smaller astral really should take more time to think it over.

Although the mere thought of eternal peace was tempting, the idea of abandoning his family for it wasn't.

Lunar took a shaky breath as he looked back at the cloaked figure, who was now looking away. Leaving him to decide in peace. Awkwardly clearing his throat.

“U-um, can I ask questions?”

She hummed and nodded.

“As long as they are questions I'm allowed to answer, yes.”

The smaller astral could definitely understand that, he's done his fair share of not being allowed to say certain things. 

Yeah, “for the good of the universe” his ass.

“You said that if I had a second chance, you would ensure I would ‘get the life I was intended’...”

He paused for a second before continuing.

“What does that mean?”

She huffed in frustration.

“Technically I shouldn't be telling you this much but, eh, Fuck it.”

The cloaked figure fully turned back to him.

“Last time you died, you did not get a choice in the matter of coming back to life. You were then cursed with a power, another thing you didn't have a choice on.”

She seemed to get angry for a second, but as soon as she saw the look on Lunar's face she shook it off.

“You getting star power wasn't because you were born in space, it was a mistake. Something that never should have happened, you were destined for something different.”

“And that is…?”

“That's something for you to discover on your own, but it is a fate much kinder than this one.”

A fate kinder than this one.

Fate, destiny, wait a damn minute.

He then blinked to clear the tears in his eyes before he straightened up.

“Wait a minute, who even are you? What are you?”

She barked out a laugh.

“Oh, honey. That's a complicated question-”

“Alright, fine! I won't choose until you tell me who you are.”

Lunar smirked and crossed his arms, she called him a young spirit, so he's going to act like one. He was sick of being left in the dark, being lied to, having the truth withheld from him.

She returned the smirk with her eyes and shrugged, two could play at this game.

“Depends. I could be another version of you. A manifestation. A part of you. A god. An eldritch being. A blessing gives a second chance to those who deserve it.”

A pale hand reached out and booped his nose, just like how he used to do to others. And how others did to him.

“Or I'm the veil between life and death. The otherworldly force. The overseer of poor unfortunate souls.”

Her glowing eyes softened.

“Or I'm just someone who refuses to quit.”

The more she spoke, the more Lunar softened with her. 

“As for a name? I don't have one. You could say I'm old lady clarity.”

Clarity, Lunar could definitely use some of that.

“Does that answer your question enough?”

The smaller astral sighed and nodded, looking down at the ground. A part of him secretly hoped she was actually evil, all just to prove a stupid point. Plus, maybe put him out of his misery.

He was tired, hungry, and cold.

“I think I have my own answer,” he whispered. 

A selfish, stupid answer.

Clarity's eyes furrowed in concern.

“You think or you know? Choose carefully, little one.”

She grabbed his face and held it in her hands, as if she was cradling the world in her palms. Making him look back up at her again.

“If you choose to live again, there is no going back. This is final.”

Lunar swallowed the lump in his throat, he didn't want to make the wrong choice again. Last time that happened, he paid for it heavily.

“I know…”

“The path to recovery will not be easy, though it is a kinder fate, it is still life. There will be struggles, love, loss and everything in between. For a long time, your mental state will be as fragile as a porcelain doll.”

“I know.”

Clarity stared at him for a second, glowing eyes looking over his features for any traces of doubt. Reading his soul. When she found none, she stood up, shoulders sturdy and posture professional.

“Very well, but I need your word.”

He closed his baby blue eyes for a second, taking in a deep breath and then letting out a shaky sigh.

Lunar wanted to live, not Cosmos.

Cosmos was dead to him.

The smaller astral opened his eyes again to look at her, as serious as he could possibly be. His mind was clear, the fog was fading, the cloudy days were approaching their end. 

“I choose to live.”

Clarity bowed her head in a single nod, stepping back to raise her hand into the air. Once she snapped her fingers, there was an energy wave that shook through him. 

He could only look in a child-like wonder at the area around him, breath taken away.

The minty grass that was once frozen in place, started to move with the breeze. Shooting stars that were stationary now followed through with their path. The wind blew, the clouds moved, time resumed right where it left off.

It was beautiful.

She was quiet for a moment, allowing her power to take full effect. Reading the outside world, making sure things go to plan.

She couldn't help but chuckle fondly at Lunar's fascination. 

“I see you've already accepted it.”

The smaller blinked at her, broken out of his trance.

“Huh?”

She laughed more, it was like he never changed. Things already seemed to be getting better, even if it's just the smallest amount of improvement compared to what he will have to do for his road to recovery.

“It took you pushing yourself to supernova to finally accept yourself.”

Lunar huffed, sitting on the ground before laying down. He shrugged as he stretched out of the soft grass, looking at the sky. But his attention wasn't in the stars, it was on the Moon.

Huh, he feels different.

Fuzzy, warm, soft, small…

He halfheartedly murmurs out a response.

“Hm, yeah… That happened…”

His body felt light but heavy, wide eyes now droopy and half-lidded. Exhaustion was catching up to him, but he didn't feel like sleeping. Not yet anyway, for some reason he stubbornly wanted to stay awake.

Clarity's eyes turned fond, sitting down next to him. She gently petted the fabric of his hood, caressing his head with a soothing touch.

“Ah, it's already starting. That's good, you deserve some respite.”

A content little noise made its way out of the back of his throat, he just kept looking at the moon. He couldn't trust the stars anymore, but the moon was always there for him.

Heh, he was going to be with his family again.

Well whaddya know? Turns out he is going to get that comfort, in this life no less.

Soon there were more noises around the mind space, which turned into mumbles, then whispers. He could hear familiar voices, but couldn't quite put a finger on them. First worried, then angry, fluctuating between the two. Upset, confused, hurt, concern.

Lunar didn't really know, but he didn't really care.

The voices and noises got louder and louder, an interesting choice of comfort but it worked. He couldn't sleep without sound, complete silence felt too empty, too lonely.

Just when sleepy eyes were about to flutter shut, he was being nudged awake. Clarity was met with a fussy grumble and a little hand batting her away.

“Come now, it's time. Your family is eagerly waiting for your arrival.” she said softly, helping stand after pulling him to his feet.

The smaller sighed and rubbed his eyes, he was so tired.

She pulled out her scythe again, with a grateful motion, she slashed it in the air. The crescent blade sliced a hole in the very fabric of existence, opening up a portal. Clarity turned back and offered a hand to him.

Lunar looked at the portal only to shield his eyes from the bright light it emitted. 

“I will walk you through, but I will not be there on the other side.”

He grabbed her hand without hesitation, following her until they were right in front of the white void. Just through that, was a new life. 

“By the way…”

The smaller looked up at her for the last time. He didn't need to see her face to know affection was displayed on her features.

“I'm glad you chose this, life can be beautiful if you allow it.”

Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all…

He smiled a little, for the first time in a long while.

“Me too.”

Lunar should probably kiss this godhood goodbye. But honestly? Good fucking riddance, he wouldn't wish that shit upon his worst enemy.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

He looked back towards the portal again, the voices much more clear. He could hear Moon whispering a little lullaby to what he can only assume is his comatose form. Gripping her hand a bit tighter in response to it.

“I'm scared.”

“I'd be worried if you weren't.”

The smaller wetly chuckled, wiping away the tears that started to stream down his face. Taking a deep breath and attempting to shake off the nervous jitters.

“Alright, let's do this.”

Hand in hand with Clarity, he walked closer to the gateway to his rebirth. 

It was painfully bright at first but quickly melted away into bliss, surrounded by pure moonlight. Phasing into the white light, although this white light wasn't painful.

The further he went into the portal, the more he could feel Clarity's grip fading. Lunar still felt her presence for a while as he passed through, watching from afar to make sure he could make the rest of the way on his own. Before she faded away entirely, she left him with one final whisper.

“Goodnight, travel well.”

Taking those words to heart, he passed through the final threshold in stride. White light swallowed him whole, tendrils lovingly wrapped around him.

Blue eyes closed.

Pink eyes opened.

Chapter Text

There's nothing I can say…

There's nothing we can do now…

✦

Taurus was a being of dedication.

Much like the sign he was named after, or at least to earthlings, he was a textbook description of the zodiac. Stubborn, grounded, practical. That's what most humans think of when presented with the idea of Taurus, stereotypes. The brain is always looking for shortcuts, as constantly processing so much information is hard work. So simplicity is often preferred.

People tend to forget the other traits of a Taurus, the lesser known, the more complex.

They can also be patient, affectionate, hard working individuals. 

But the negatives are always louder than the positives, they are easier to believe. Easier to understand. 

Each sign, each astral, has an equal amount of positive and negative traits. This is what makes them balanced, well rounded. Fit for their assigned tasks and duties. The destroyers were no exception to this rule.

Leos can be confident, bold, and ambitious. However, their pride, arrogant and dramatic nature can hold them back.

This is how they were created and how they will be, forever until the end of time. Unchanging, unwavering, standing the testing tides of the cosmic ocean of stars they call existence. Taurus believed that it is how all astrals are, and will be forevermore.

But then he met Lunar.

When they met, the little puck barely came up to his knee in height. A small, delicate body that somehow had unfathomable power within. A mind so broken, beaten down, and used somehow wanted to keep going. Keep pushing himself to be the best version of himself he could possibly be. Protect the ones he loved, those who “cared” for him in return.

No matter the cost, no matter the consequences. Even if it would be his very demise.  

Much like Icarus in the old tale, he flew too close to the sun. He burned. His lovingly, handcrafted wings melted and a tragic yet beautiful spectacle. The poor butterfly barely emerged from its crystalline cocoon before being taken by the claws of death. Far too soon. For a second time.

Emerging as Cosmos, a powerful destroyer. An entity skilled in his abilities and craft. Only using a fraction of his true power.

For the cosmic love of everything in the universe, it was a horrid mistake.

He was forced beyond his limit, taken out of the womb too early, torn from the heavens just to be put back in hell, ripped out of his cocoon. All for what? For others to praise him for barely making it out alive? To congratulate him for ripping himself apart? Encouraging such sick and twisted behavior? Saying that you have to suffer because the universe dictates so?

But alas, Taurus had a job. A job that overruled all, or at least so he thought.

So when he saw the little form turn lifeless, his breath was taken away. Yet he didn't even need to breathe.

Once every ounce of star power was expelled, the planet was gone. Not even a trace of it. Not a single spec of dust, debris or hint of a dark star power signature. The storm and winds that formed a barrier around him faded, allowing the two larger astrals to see the state the smaller was in.

The limp form floated in the air for a moment before being harshly pulled down by the planet's gravity, becoming a fallen star.

Huh, that last statement was oddly fitting for the small astral.

While Leo was frozen in horror with an uncharacteristic look of shock and dread on his face, Taurus managed to act quickly. Flinging his huge form after the falling Lunar, catching him, albeit harshly, before he could burn up in the atmosphere from the planet below. Once the cosmic bull had him in his arms, he just held him close for a moment.

Why? He didn't know.

Taurus doesn't understand this feeling, what is he feeling? Why is he feeling?

He is made up of stars, cosmic dust and energy, he has no organs, heart or even a brain to speak of. Suddenly everything about his being felt off. The muscles that he doesn't have in his arms were trembling, his core in his chest dropped down to his abdominal region.

One large arm wrapped around the smaller astrals broken body, the other large hand cradling the back of his little head. Absentmindedly stroking the fabric of Lunar's hood with his thumb. 

He could feel the shattered part of the little chest against his own, where a core should be. Radiating the nuclear warmth of a star, but it was cold. Lunar, who was so full of life and warmth, was still and cold.

Taurus didn't know why, but he just couldn't bring himself to look closer, at the smaller face, see the damage that was done. 

“Taurus…?”

What kind of a mentor keeps something from his student? Even if it was in a vain attempt to keep their innocence?

“Taurus?”

What kind of a mentor can't help their student?

“Taurus!?”

The cosmic bull held Lunar tighter as his eyes snapped back to a frazzled Leo, who was now in front of him. He looked like he wanted to shake Taurus by the shoulders, but definitely not while he was holding precious cargo. Oh so very precious cargo.

Leo's eyes darted between the two astrals, trying to come up with a plan. Damage control was never a destroyer's strong suit. Running his hands through his fiery mane, gulping and sighing sharply.

“Ok… If you carry him and keep him stable, I can go get Virgo and-”

“Virgo can't fix this...” he whispered softly.

The cosmic lion paused and blinked before he did a double take. “Virgo can't what?!”

“Virgo can't fix this.”

“Yeah, I heard you for the first time. What do you mean Virgo can't fix this!?” 

Despite Leo's question and building stress, Taurus took a deep breath, building up the courage to look at the poor thing in his arms. Out of everything he's ever done, somehow, this was the hardest. 

As carefully as possible, the larger astral pulled back Lunar's form ever so slightly to see the damage. Taurus realized just how wrong he was about Lunar being able to handle this. Any of this.

Dried tear tracks running down the little face, the droplets frozen to his lashes from the coldness of space. Somehow he looked pale, despite lacking blood. The periwinkles of his face now look more akin to a dull gray. Bright, wide eyes fallen closed, as if sewn shut like a sleeping beauty. A sleep like death. A sleep, from which he will never awaken.

Worst of all? It was the thing that Taurus didn’t see that scared him. The shattered hole into the smaller astrals chest cavity was strangely empty, all except for one thing. Where there was supposed to be a star, a core, a life source. Anything.

It was the beginning of a black hole.

Ignoring Leo's gasp, the cosmic bull immediately used his power to form a forcefield around the limp body. Keeping him in stasis, preventing the black hole from growing any larger. It wasn't a power he used often, it wasn't even one he needed. But thank the stars he did have it for this exact reason.

His eyes didn't leave the small black mass that was in Lunar's body, staring at it the same way Lunar was staring at the infected planet earlier. Hypnotized by such dark yet strangely elegant existence.

Normally when an astral dies, it's from negative star power. When they supernova, there is nothing left but their cosmic ashes. Which eventually gets collected by a creator astral and reformed. This is their version of rebirth. 

Astrals are made up of multiple stars, a constellation. Along with energy that binds them together. But Lunar is different, he is only one star, and part animatronic, part earthling. His body, his status, his power may be mostly astral now, but it wasn't enough.

Taurus knew Lunar was special, but not “break the laws of astrophysics” special.

Leo shook his head in disbelief at the sight, none of them have ever anything like this. How the hell did this little puck waltz in and defy everything they thought they knew since the start of the universe?

“Alright, big guy…” The cosmic lion took a deep breath. “What do we do?”

Taurus held Lunar closer, there was only one other way to help him now.

“Something I should've done in the first place.”

✦

“Thank Christ that's over with.” Moon groaned as he laid his head on his desk with a thud.

Jack and Molten were already sent home, all the rest of the animatronics were off for the night. Thankfully, it was a normal day, with a few extra hours to tend to maintenance and things of the like. The main owners burning the midnight oil.

The new building was nice, much cleaner, bigger and had better accommodations. Unfortunately, it also came with all the usual pain in the ass business stuff Moon had to deal with. That of which included a fuck ton of paper work.

Meanwhile Sun just chuckled from his own desk in their office, turning his chair to face Moon's direction. “You were the one who wanted to be ‘manager’.”

The moon model just flipped off his twin, but kept his head down. 

“You were the one who wanted to make money the legal way.”

“And I still do.”

“Then you do the bills.”

“Nah, I'm good.” The sunny model leaned back in his chair with a smirk. “Besides, that's more your speed, genius.”

Solar suddenly knocking the door and entering with drinks in his hand was like an angel coming down from heaven itself. Moon never realized how much he needed the nice gesture of someone bringing liquid courage to get through the day. Solaris, bringer of caffeine.

The eclipse model looked over at Moon and snorted.

“You alive over there?”

Moon just groaned again.

Heavy work boots softly thudded over and a hand placed a coffee cup on the desk next to Moon's head.

“Get your dirty bean water away from me.”

Moon could practically hear Solar roll his eyes. “Relax, it's tea.” 

Solar then went over to give Sun the other coffee, grumbling under his breath but there was no malice to it.

“I swear I forget one time-”

“Nexus’ ‘black like my soul’ coffee preferences nearly killed me.”

“-and you get your… nightcap in a twist.”

Sun, who was fondly shaking his head at the two, joined in on the banter.

“You can say panties, Solar, there's no children present.”

The moon model lifted his head slowly like he was being raised from the dead, glaring at the two with narrowed eyes. While said two others tried to hold their laughter.

“You wouldn't.”

Sun would happily take any given opportunity to tease his twin. Looking at Solar and nudging his head towards Moon with a wider smirk. Moon knew what that implied, the dreaded inside joke.

“Say the line, Solar.”

The moon model whipped his chair around to face them fully, a desperate look on his faceplate.

“Solar, I will get on my hands and knees and beg.”

His lips lifted up into a lopsided smile as he shrugged and hissed through his teeth. “I don't know, Moon. Sun makes a compelling argument.”

“What argument? When did we decide to make this ‘Moon bashing’ time?”

“Since you've taken me into your family.”

“I pick you up like a wet kitten on the side of the road and this is how you repay me?”

The two made dead eye contact for a few seconds before Solar broke the silence.

“Don't get your mooner bloomers in a twist.”

Moon just deadpanned, then took the nearest pen and threw it at him. It barely knocked one of the rusty colored rays as it whizzed past him, which just made Solar let out his signature raspy laugh.

“You throw like a nerd.”

Moon found himself smiling warmly at his new pseudo-family member. It was nice to see him be able to laugh at a moon model making such a gesture, especially considering what he's been through. He didn't remember a lot from when Nexus took over, but he knew enough. 

Good thing Moon had his own ammo to fire with.

“Says the twink.”

Solar's face dropped and it was Sun's turn to laugh. The glorious Sun wheeze.

Meanwhile the eclipse model looked like he was squaring up for a fight, rolling up his t-shirt sleeve.

“You won't be calling me a twink when I shove my boot up your ass-”

He was cut off by the sound of a boom, like something entering the Earth's atmosphere and the whole building shaking.

In an instant Sun and Moon were jumping out of their office chairs, Solar's temporary anger gone in an instant as he looked around for a possible source of the sound.

“What the hell?”

They soon got their answer when there was a sudden light in the middle of the room, particles merging together to create a glowing form. Soon the light faded and revealed Taurus and… Someone else? 

He was cradling someone, a bundle of periwinkle and baby blue. Wait… Baby Blue? 

No.

Oh hell no.

They all had varying levels of emotion on their faces, Sun’s had worry, Solar’s had shock.

Moon’s had rage.

The cosmic bull had an uncharacteristic look of devastation and grief and concern and oh so desperate expression. But the second he looked up and saw the combination of Moon and Solar he was the slightest bit relieved, eyes lighting up. He knew they were the ones that were smart enough to fix this, known for repairing those of their kind. 

“Moon-” the booming voice turned soft. He barely got a word out before being cut off.

“What the hell did you do?!” Moon shouted back, as loud as he possibly could to convey his anger.

The moon model noticed the larger astral flinch slightly, which was weird. He was a literal star god, why would he flinch at a mere mortal yelling at him? But that didn't matter to Moon right now. What did matter was why, in the absolute hell, did he have his baby brother cradled in his arms. 

Why was he so still? Why did he look so cold? Why did he look so small?

Soon, Monty burst through the office door. Out of breath from speeding over to the room in a panic.

“Holy shit, did you guys hear that?! Are you all ok? wh-”

The gator promptly shut up once locked eyes once she locked eyes with Taurus, then looking down at the limp form in the strong arms.

“What the fuck happened here?!” her head immediately whipping around to the other three, the Sunny models standing in silence while Moon looked like he was going to have steam come out of his nonexistent ears.

In favor of saving the little one, who was stasis with a magical forcefield around him, the larger astral ignored her.

“Moon, please, this is urgent-” he took a step forward.

“No! Not until you tell me what you did to Lunar!”

“I didn't do this.”

“Then who did?!”

“He did this to himself but I-”

Taurus let out a strained sigh, bowing his head in shame. He was acting like a weak fool. He was a Taurus, he should act like one.

The cosmic bull kneeled down to a shorter height, showing more of the broken little body against his chest. Looking back up at Moon with an overarching feeling of helplessness weighing on his form.

Somehow, the white voids that were his eyes had clear emotion in them. More emotion he's ever shown, not since… No. He can't think about that now. Lunar took priority.

“Please, help him…”

The moon model was about to yell again, but any words died on his tongue at seeing his baby in such a state.

His baby…? Where did that come from? Whatever, that's not important right now.

Moon didn't think that Lunar could look anymore tired, sad, and drained from the few hours they've set aside to let him regress. Yet here he was, a boy who once shone like the stars, appearing so painfully dull.

Why did he have a hole in his little chest? Was that the beginning of a black hole in his chest cavity?!

Everything they've ever done wrong to the poor thing came rushing back into his mind.

“You need to get your own place.”

“We can't answer that for you.”

“You need to be more responsible.”

“You're lucky we still consider you family.”

“Grow up.”

Moon hated it, he hated everything about it. How they all treated Lunar, how he treated Lunar. Nexus or not, he vowed to be a better brother. That didn't just go for Sun.

He tore his eyes away from the smaller astral to look back up at the larger. 

What the hell is he doing just standing here?! They need to help him, they can discuss how it all went wrong later.

Since the one sided screaming match settled down, Monty shook her head and spoke up.

“Alright, we ain't gettin’ shit done just standing here.”

Solar groaned and pinched between his eyes as he nodded. He came up to Taurus and gestured to him to follow. 

“She's right, we can set up in one of the storage rooms we've been using for repairs.”

Soon they all followed the eclipse model out of the office and down the hall to the temporary repair room. Footsteps of all shapes and sizes thudding on the floor like heard of the pack they were. Or at least they were supposed to be.

Lunar may be in stasis, but they all practically ran anyway. 

Monty entered first with Solar following close behind, he flicked on the light to try to find a place they could work.

“I swear there is a table we can use…”

He was interrupted by Monty using her brute strength to sweep a bunch of boxes off a table that was hidden. A crash echoing throughout the room. Clearly whatever parts that were in those boxes were not important as Lunar. 

Solar just blinked. “Never mind, that works too.”

Taurus was quick, but incredibly gentle, to lay the little astral down on the table. Whether animatronic or astral, he just looked wrong on the steel flat table. Too uncomfortable. Too sterile.

He should be swaddled in a blanket and snuggled up in a warm bed with a full belly, safe and sound. Not like this.

Moon walked over to the side of the table, his heart sinking at the sight. A hand smoothing over the fabric of his hood, a pet of tender affection. He can't help but feel like it was his fault. 

He should've done more, he should've said more. Word things correctly, listen to Lunar when he voiced his frustrations, wants and needs. Moon doesn't even know what Nexus said to him. Was Nexus worse? Did he abuse Lunar like Eclipse did?!

“Um, this isn't really my… Field of expertise. Should I wait outside?” Sun's unsure voice broke him out of his spiral.

Moon hated when Sun didn't feel as if he deserved to be in such a crucial moment. Whether it was because of his kind nature, lack of technical smarts, or simply because he thought he would make things worse.

That guilty look in his eyes, Moon hated the fact he was part of the reason for that guilt.

The moon model immediately shook his head, placing his other hand on his twin's shoulder.

“No, you stay if you want to. You have every right to be here.”

Solar called out from rummaging for supplies and computers. “Plus, an extra pair of hands won't hurt.”

He looked back at the smaller astral on the table for a second, letting out a soft sigh. “I feel like we're gonna need it…”

The gator came back over with almost every special tool she had, placing the computers and monitors down for Solar to set up. But not after a heartbroken gaze to the little one on the table. The same one she once vowed to protect. 

Ruby eyes looked back up to Moon, a newfound determination shone within them.

“Alright Moon, what's the plan?”

He took a deep breath before letting it out slowly, donning his metaphorical focus cap.

“Solar, set up the monitors and computers. Monty, do a physical on his body to see what animatronic parts are left. Taurus, you help with any star stuff. Sun, stand by for an emergency. I'll see what damage control I can do.”

Taurus nodded. “Once I lower the forcefield, we will have a limited time before the black hole becomes unstable.”

“Battle stations everyone.”

While everyone was preparing for what was basically emergency surgery, Moon took the chance to press a gentle familial kiss on Lunar's forehead.

“Don't worry, baby blue. Bubba’s gonna fix this.”

Bubba will fix everything, that's what he does.

✦

They all stayed in that room, working on Lunar's body, for hours. Or at least that's what it felt like, none of them had any idea what time it was. Nor did they bother to check the clock. The time they were focusing on was how much the little astral had left to be saved.

Once they had everything set up, triple checked and tested, the force field was lifted. They didn't know how long they had before it was too late, but it was certain that it was short.

The family and their cosmic plus one all had their specific tasks, and worked with diligence. For the sake of one of their youngest, they had to shove down any and all emotions that would get in the way. Worry, guilt, fear, love.

Moon was monitoring the condition of the black hole, doing everything he can to keep it as stable as possible. Until Monty broke the stressful silence.

She made a strained sound with a grimace “Uh, Moon?”

“What is it? We don't have much here.” His voice was cold, as it usually was when he was ‘In the zone’ so to speak.

“...He's barely animatronic anymore. I can't make heads or tails of half of this shit.”

The moon model wanted to fucking scream.

Sun, who was passing tools back and forth between the three, winced and frantically shook his head in disbelief.

“No, no no no no, don't say that! I-is there anything you do understand?”

The gator sighed and scrubbed her face with a free hand, tired and frustrated with this whole ordeal.

“The most he has is a USB port and an endo-skeleton, everything else is either nonfunctional or star stuff…” she took a step back and slumped her posture in defeat.

Lunar was basically a half-dead cyborg alien, great.

Taurus had yet to look like his usual self since showing up with Lunar is his arms, even as he tried to keep his unease to a minimum. Although he still managed to help where he could, hands glowing with star power as they did their own version of diagnostics on the smaller astral.

“And it is because of those parts Virgo can't help him like they would one of us, if we removed them we would just harm him more.” his head and eyes lowered in sadness as he looked at Lunar again.

“Nothing like this has ever happened to us, we were at a loss…”

Too little for one end, too much for the other. So close yet so far.

Solar leaned back in his chair with a huff, crossing his arms as he scanned over the monitors again. He didn't want to believe the results and readings that he saw, there was no way to fix Lunar's current body. The mix of star energy, matter, and power was too intertwined with the mechanical parts leftover within.

“So that's it? That's it?!”

The eclipse model suddenly stood up, clearly resisting the urge to slam the table out of desperation. 

Moon knew Solar hated feeling useless or like he was incompetent, but he was more pissed off than usual. It was times like this he was reminded that at the end of the day, he was once an Eclipse. It's easy to forget and think of him as just a more relaxed Sunny model.

The extra rays were sprouted from his head.

The sharp black ones in between the larger rusty colored rays, the ones of a signature Eclipse. Normally, Solar kept them in. He hated how they looked and how much more they made him threatening. 

“Are we just giving up?! Is he just brain dead?! We-”

He paused his shouting to take a deep breath, hands gripping the back of the chair. Hopelessly looking up at the others in the room.

His voice was softer, so much softer. “We can't just let him go like this…”

Nobody bothered to stop the eclipse model’s burst of anger, Lunar was in part of the reason he was introduced to all of them. How he came here in the first place, how he found his new family. A family that he belonged in.

They all stood around the table dejectedly, the small body hooked up to all sorts of tools, wires, and screens. Nobody knew what to say, there was nothing they could say. Except Taurus.

“There's nothing we can do now.” the cosmic bull breathed out.

Those words cut deep to everyone, but the deepest cut was on Moon's soul. 

If you were to ask him if he regrets dying for KC a while ago, he would have said no without hesitation. However, in the past few months he's been back? He wouldn't know what to say. 

One part would say the ‘right’ thing, that he was glad he could help the kind monster finally experience life. Even if it turned out to only be a short time. On the other hand, once he saw what else had become of it. How it affected his family, how Nexus affected his family.

He couldn't be there for them when they needed it most. When Earth and Solar officially became a part of the family. When Ruin came about. When Bloodmoon terrorized his family for the second time. He fucking broke Lunar's arm, attacked Earth, and possibly others he didn't even know about. 

What he thought was a chance to give him loved ones a better brother, turned out to be the exact opposite. Moon didn't know if he could ever forgive himself for that. Sure, you can't change the past and hindsight is always 20/20, but it didn't make it all hurt any less. Nor did it cut him any slack in any regard. 

The moon model didn't know for sure about his younger brother, but sometimes he wished he never let his little baby blue out of his headspace. Keep him safe and protected, away from any potential harm. 

He would have never been blown up, he would have never died, never gained these awful powers, or been sent to space, or feel so unloved that he didn't deserve any better destiny.

That self sacrificing nature was probably learnt from Moon in the first place, dammit. The little AI was young and impressionable back then, of course he would pick up on it. But keeping him in his head wouldn't be fair, especially considering how happy Lunar was to explore the outside world.

Thinking back to that childish wonder, pink eyes wide with innocent curiosity before eventually drooping closed from exhaustion for a nap. How that little body suited him so much more than his newer ones. Why can't he just shove Lunar's consciousness into a new body? Have things be the way it was before-

Hold up. Hold the fuck up.

The moon model's head lifted up from where it was resting on his hand, eyes widening in realization.

“Oh my god, that's it.” he whispered.

In the quiet of the room, it was heard loud and clear. 

Sun's eyes darted between the smaller astral that was comatose on the table and his twin several times, not understanding the sudden eureka moment.

“What's it?”

He was too busy running through the possibilities and needed steps in his head, ignoring the Sunny model.

“Holy shit, why didn't we do this sooner.”

Monty just side eyed him and muttered to solar. “Does he actually have somethin’ or is he losing it…?”

The eclipse model just lightly slapped her shoulder, shaking his head with the ‘this is so not the time for this’ look on his face.

Moon quickly turned to Taurus, rambling to get his idea out before he forgot it. “Taurus, how was his new body made? What was the process?”

The cosmic bull was surprised at first at the unexpected eagerness, but answered diligently.

He cleared his throat before speaking. “It was mostly his work creating his new form, but we helped in certain aspects.”

“Such as…?”

“Such as assisting him with infusing power into his very fabric of existence, what his new form required, holding his soul as his new body took form.”

Moon frantically nodded and pointed to him. “Yes that last part, can you do it again?!”

The larger astral sighed. “Technically, yes, but it would be risky in this condition. As all his star power is nearly spent, the remnants of what's left are turned negative.”

The moon model gritted his teeth as he spoke through them. “Dammit!”

Ok, that's fine. Just makes things harder, because nothing can ever be easy for any of them.

He then jerked his neck back up towards Monty. “You said there's a USB port that's still functional?”

She nodded. “Yeah, in the back of his head. But why-”

The gator's eyes widened as it suddenly hit her as well. “You crazy bastard, you can't be serious.”

The sunny model waved their attention over to him.

“Uh, hello? Can you guys speak a language I can understand? Please?” 

“Im gonna make Lunar a new body, and put his consciousness into that to buy us time. Maybe even figure out how to fix it.”

Moon took another deep breath. “But before we do that…”

He turned back towards Taurus, his expression stern and his eyes narrowed. He will not be taking no for an answer, a brother on a mission.

“You owe me an explanation, bull balls.”

Chapter Text

And all that stands between the souls release…

This temporary flesh and bone…

✦

“You owe me an explanation, bull balls.”

Taurus opened his mouth to rebuttal but quickly shut it, he should have seen this coming. The insult was probably deserved as well. 

He put the forcefield back around Lunar, keeping him in stasis once more. This explanation will take a while, he didn't want them to lose what precious little time they have left. Especially if this so-called ‘plan’ that Moon has actually works.

The cosmic bull looked around at the rest of the family gathered around their youngest, each face had a look of expectation. They all wanted to know almost as much as Moon does. 

Taurus took a deep breath; despite already kneeling to fit in the room, he bowed down further.

“Are you sure you want to know? It might not be an answer you're happy with.” 

Moon crossed his arms. “I don't care, we have every right to know what happened to Lunar. No matter what the truth is.”

There was a chorus of nods and hums of agreement from the rest of the people in the room.

Funny, now they seem to care about what goes on with the little astral’s life. When he's hanging onto life by the thinnest thread.

“Very well, I shall start from the beginning.”

He cleared his throat before speaking. “Astrals are made up of a multitude of stars, a constellation, if you will. As well as energy that binds them together.”

The cosmic bull paused for a second to look at the poor little thing on the table, so broken, so small.

“But, as you know.” he gestured to Lunar. “He is different, so very different.”

The Moon model grimaced slightly at that, he had a feeling of what Taurus was implying. He just wished it wasn't true.

“This is something entirely different from the ‘animatronic becoming an astral’ thing, isn't it?”

The cosmic bull solemnly nodded before continuing. “Lunar's power is more akin to when myself and the other astrals were created along with the universe. His star power is… Young, so to speak.”

Sun did a double take, shaking his head in confusion. “Young? Are you saying he's the equivalent of a newborn?”

“Not in the way you see a ‘newborn’.” He quickly calmed the Sunny model. He didn't want to have an early start of the panic, he hasn't even gotten to the most shocking part of the story yet.

“His power is only made up of a single star, his core.” Taurus turned to Moon. “You are a man of science, are you not?”

“Uhm, yes. Why is that relevant?” Moon raised a brow.

“How well versed are you in the laws of astrophysics?”

Now that caught him off guard, astrals were literal space gods with powers. What the hell did physics have to do with that?

“I'm well versed in physics, yes, but not so much astrophysics…” His main specialty was technological fields along with the occasional dimensional affair. 

The cosmic bull hummed in understanding, calculating how to approach the next topic.

“I see, I will try to explain it in a way you all can somewhat understand.”

The larger astral then uses his power to create a hologram projection of the usual astral core. It was big, bright, colorful, and had other smaller stars surrounding it in a constellation.

“This is what a normal astral core looks like…”

Then next to it, he projected what Lunar's core looked like before the supernova. Everyone gasped at the comparison, they all thought Lunar was much more powerful then he let on. Much stronger. Much more resilient. 

Looking at what Lunar's core was like before its timely demise, it was absolutely pathetic. 

It was so much more dull, small and devoid of color, so much so that it was a pure white. It was small and lonely with any other stars surrounding it, a small little star. Just like how he felt without his family, that star probably shone bright once before.

Moon wanted to take everything back.

The Newton star, star power, dimensional travel, moving dimensions, magic, playing with fire, death, and messing with shit they never should have even seen. He wanted to take it all back, anything that ever caused his baby blue to suffer so much that his core, his very being, reflected it in such a way.

Taurus seemed to understand Moon's internal turmoil at the sight, as well as the others. It clearly showed in his voice.

“...And this was Lunar's.” he breathed out softly. “He was nothing but a white dwarf.”

Was.

Was.

As in implying he was no more, because as of now, he was a cold little black hole.

Monty covered her mouth with a strained sigh, her eyes turning sympathetic. “Jesus Christ, he really was a baby…” She muttered.

The larger astral gulped, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible. “In a matter of speaking, yes. His powers were new and developing. Astrals are incapable of age, that includes from birth.”

Solar shook his head slowly, tiredly leaning back in his chair. “That's another thing that's different, Lunar was a kid. Or technically at least-”

Moon suddenly slammed the edge on the table in a fit of rage. 

“Because he is a kid dammit!”

Everyone's jaws dropped in shock at the sudden outburst from the moon model, normally he was more cool and calculated. But they've all seen Moon when he reaches his limit or breaking point, it's not a pretty sight.

He grips his nightcap like its hair, bunching it up as he squeezes it between his fingers. Claws coming out slightly and piercing the starry fabric.

“Who the fuck are we kidding?! Lunar is a kid! He's always been a kid!”

The gator groaned and rubbed her temples at the oncoming headache. Between staying at work late, trying to fix Lunar, and complicated astral shit; she was at her wits end.

“I don't understand , didn't he say he was an adult? That he was fine?”

Moon suddenly whipped around to her and practically shouted. “People lie, Monty!”

“But why would he?! We told him he could come to us-”

“Because when he did we ignored him!”

With each word said, they inched closer to one another. Once Moon's hand left his hat to surge forward, Sun and Solar immediately intervened before he choked her. The eclipse model stood in front of Monty like a shield, while the Sunny model tried to stop his twin.

“Moon, listen, I know you're angry. But now isn't the time!” His rays shrunk back a bit, showing his fear but he didn't let said fear stop him. 

“But-”

“Please, let the man finish, I'm sure there's an actual reason for this.” he pleaded, Sun always tried to be the peacemaker.

Red eyes bore into Sun's pale ones, the faint blue and yellow heterochromia. Then he glanced at the sight of the small astral on the table behind him, peaking between Sun's rays.

Lunar wouldn't want this.

Moon took a breath to calm himself before turning back to Taurus, waving a hand. “Continue.”

Taurus only looked more hesitant after seeing the interaction. “This brings me to my next point…”

He changed the projection to only focus on the little white dwarf, changing the image to show it absorbing power. Ever so slightly growing larger and brighter. 

“As the core absorbs or generates power, it gets stronger and larger. While a white dwarf is usually the leftover of a weak star's death, Lunar did something never seen before.”

The white dwarf suddenly began taking in more power at a faster rate.

“...I made a horrible misjudgment. I cannot disclose all the information to your kind, but to put it lightly…”

The white dwarf started to absorb even more power to keep up with its user, growing at an alarming rate.

“I had a moment of weakness, but it was Lunar who paid for it.”

The star core was now much larger than its original size, struggling to contain all the power within.

Taurus paused to bow his head in sadness, mourning the loss of what was once a pure and beautiful thing.

“The little white dwarf exceeded the Chandrasekhar limit.”

Then the little white dwarf couldn't take it anymore, it collapsed, it gave up, it burst into a supernova.

Moon wasn't into astrophysics as much as other fields of science, but even he understands some of the terms used. The Chandrasekhar limit is the max amount of mass a white dwarf can have and still remain stable. If it exceeds the limit, the supernova would result in either a neutron star or a black hole.

Somehow, Lunar pushed himself past that limit. 

He buried his face in his hands, letting out a muffled groan. “He pushed himself past the limit  didn't he?”

The cosmic bull closed his eyes as he nodded, hiding the emotion and shame in white voids. “Yes.”

He opened his eyes to look at Moon again, staring into his very soul, whether he even had one or not.

“That is my end of the story… What about yours?” Taurus eyed the moon model with the same look he was shown when asked for an explanation.

Moon had a feeling the all seeing astral god knew at least some what of what Lunar was actually doing on his short hour breaks. Although he couldn't blame the cosmic bull for not knowing how to approach it, understand, or even deal with the situation. 

Judging how Moon was reacting definitely made it easy to tell something was going on as well.

Sun raised a brow, tilting his head. “D-did you know something we didn't?” His voice was meek but suspicious.

Seeing his twin so unsure about if Moon was keeping something from him just made Moon feel like absolute shit. His heart sank as his shoulder slumped. He looked around to see similar expressions on Solar and Monty.

God dammit, stupid bull balls making him break his pinky promise to Lunar.

Moon already bent the rules for Molten, he still hated that he did it but he didn't have much of a choice. At least the tangle of wires tried to help when he could, and provide an alibi when needed. 

He foolishly hoped he had a choice here, but it was clear he didn't. It wasn't like he didn't want to tell them. How much they all royally fucked up, especially when it came to the little one. 

The one they vowed to protect. Whatever happened to that?

Moon knew just how much pinky promises meant to Lunar, and still do. Too many of them have been broken in the events leading up to this train wreck, just thinking about the look of heartbreak on the sweet little face made the older moon model want to cry. That look of hopelessness, the wordless way of saying ‘why did I even bother?’. 

“Why should I even be surprised that my family didn't care about my stupid needs?”

It would be written all over his face.

Over the past few weeks the small astral has been coming to him for comfort, to regress, cry and sleep. Moon had learned all too well what he'd been really going through, how much he suffered, and how much the entire family made him suffer.

Moon included.

The moon model walked away from his twin over to the table side next to Lunar, his little brother. His heart, for some reason, sank at that word. Although for a different reason then you would expect.

Moon was protective of his family, no doubt. When it came to the younger ones like Jack, Dazzle and Molten, that dial was cranked up to the max.

With Lunar? that dial was turned up even more, so much so that it broke.

He didn't know how to approach this, but he was definitely going to have to find a way. Because this might be the only way to move forward, take the first step of recovering for not just Lunar but for everyone here.

Moon knew he was going to hate himself for this, and probably make his little one hate him more in the process, but he was at a loss. Then again, Lunar has every right to hate him. He had the right to hate all of them. Would he even want to come back to life? With this family, no less?

Then that thought went as soon as it came, like something washed over him. A warm reassurance that it would all work out in the end. Huh, strange.

Anyways, onto business.

He gently cupped the little periwinkle cheek, rubbing his thumb over the dark eye bags to wipe away the dried tears. 

“I'll tell you but… it's not something you all want to hear.”

Moon let out a shaky sigh, his grip on Lunar tightening in a feeble attempt to let the comatose form he was here for him.

“And I'll talk as we work, I don't want to waste any more time then we have already.”

✦

It was as if waking up from a long, comfy nap.

Despite a feeling of discomfort in his head like a dull headache, it was the most comfy he's been in ages. Almost like when he would take naps with bubba, his fluffy little head resting on Moon's chest as he listened to the music box. It could play a variety of different songs, but for Lunar he always defaulted to the moon themed ones. 

The soft notes twinkling like the stars in the sky, Moon's rough voice doing a complete 180 to something more soft. Humming, singing, and occasional words or whispers of baby talk.

His fuzzy socks he used to wear, oversized nightcap, stubby legs scrunched up to form a ball, his tail curled around him like a shield…

Hold up, a tail?!

The little bot would've jerked awake if his entire body felt like a lead weight, but the most he could do was twitch his nose and let out a tiny squeak.

Lunar heard a soft gasp and the singing stopped, there was some urgent shuffling and an office chair rolling across the floor closer to him. He heard a little beep on a computer somewhere and some tapping on a keyboard.

“Holy shit… Holy shit it actually worked.” a familiar voice whispered in disbelief.

Moon! It was Moon! Bubba was here and-

Why did he sound so choked up? Was he sad? Why would he be sad? If whatever he was talking about worked, why would he be sad?

Wait.

…Why was he thinking like that? As if he was a little kid worried for their parents. Just like how he used to do whenever Sunny or Moonie were upset. He just wanted everyone to be happy.

Shit, did Clarity send him back in time?!

Delicate eyelashes fluttered as he stirred, trying to wake up from the clutches of his coma. He needed answers dammit, what the hell was going on here?

Trying to turn his head to loosen up the stiffness in his neck, he now remembers how much of a pain in the ass it was to transfer into a new body. Regaining feeling in new limbs, plus new limbs, was always disorienting. Especially for such a little body.

Little?! LITTLE?!

As if sensing the little bot's panic and confusion, he felt large gentle hands unplug something from the back of his head.

“Shh, it's ok. I just gotta get this off of ya.” Moon shushed him softly, soothing the little one.

There was some more rustling and something being removed from the port on the back of his small head. As if being shocked and resuscitated back to life, Lunar's little lungs gasped for air, so sudden it caused him to cough and whimper.

Pink eyes flew open.

He was immediately met with the sight of a ceiling, the off white of the new building Moon and Monty got for the business. Why here of all places? 

Then those same hands were gently sitting him up, patting the little back as Lunar caught his breath.

“Hey, hey. Take it easy, you're ok. Just breathe.” His older brother crooned.

As he took a moment to let his mind catch up with his new body, he looked around cautiously. A habit he gained from both Eclipse’s wrath and potential threats as an astral. 

He was in Sun and Moon's shared office, laying on a couch with a blanket over his lap. Wires that were once plugged into him now laid on the floor. Monitors and computers nearby with various different readings. Although, one specific screen stood out.

“Data transfer: 100% successful”

Last time he saw those words he was in Monty's space station. With that, slowly looked down at his hands. They were different.

A mix of a soft stormy blue and a silvery white, almost like Moon's hands but smaller and chubbier. Lunar's eyes trailed up his hands to his arms, which were covered in comfy sleeves with stripes. Up to his torso, which had a moon and star on the shirt, along with fuzzy pink shorts. Moving the blanket, he found babydoll-esque legs covered in matching striped socks. A little, star-tipped tail curled around them.

He was in a new body, and considerably smaller, softer, cuter. When he lifted his head to look up at Moon, the bell on his nightcap jingled with the sound of innocence.

Pink eyes met red.

This had to be a dream, a dream Lunar would dream about on the rare occasions he could sleep as an astral.

All the worry on his older brother's face vanished in an instant once Lunar looked up at him. An airy chuckle on relief paired with a warm smile.

He put a gentle hand on the little cheek, cradling the sweet face oh so gently. “Welcome back to the land of the living, baby blue…”

This was too good to be true, wasn't it? His choices don't matter, he didn't deserve this. This had to be some sort of mistake. Maybe he was confused for someone else?

As those thoughts rambled in his head, along with the unfamiliar yet familiar body, recent events, and seeing his brother, being called that special name again. His eyes welled up with uncontrollable tears, little body trembling with an overwhelming amount of emotion. 

He now knew what Clarity meant when she said that he would be as fragile as a porcelain doll.

“B-bubba…?” croaked out the tiniest softest voice, with a slight lisp. Just like he used to have.

Moon's smile grew wider as his own eyes became misty, nodding his head. “Yeah, bud, it's me.”

This had to be some sort of test right? A simulation? There's no way this is the real Moon, he hasn't looked that soft at Lunar in years. He didn't deserve such a soft look. 

But there was only one way to find out.

The little bot hesitantly lifted up his arms, reaching out to the much taller moon model. Stubby little fingers making a grabby hands motion. He fully expected to be met with rejection, or a scoff and a roll of the eyes. 

So when those safe hands lifted him up under his little arms and held against an equally safe chest. He couldn't help but flinch slightly, which warranted more cooing from the older brother.

“It's ok, you're ok.”

You're ok

The little storm drizzled, then rained, then poured.

The tears that were welling up in the big innocent eyes overflowed, along with his heart that never seemed to fit in his body. It bled. Sobs spilling out from the little mouth like a faucet, a whole oceans worth of water rushing out of a tiny pipe. 

Arms wrapped around his little body in a more secure fashion, rocking side to side to soothe him. The music box turned on and Moon started humming again, one of the large hands rubbing the small back. 

Lunar would have screamed and wailed. Punch or hit Moon, break something, slam his body onto the floor and kick his legs in a tantrum. Yell at Moon, shout at him about how he was treated, how much his family fucked him up. Spill his guts and regurgitate everything that has happened to him and throw it back in Moon's face.

But he couldn't. Not like this. He was too tired, too small, too weak.  

Any anger that he had left was gone, he just wanted to cry and sleep.

He didn't know how long they sat like that, for once, he didn't care. He had no duties to get back to, nothing was more important than this. Exhausted sobs and pathetic cries dwindling down to shuddering sighs and sniffles. His face buried into Moon's sweater, tears being soaked up into the soft wool of the black sweater.

He was small, small in Moon's arms. He never thought he would get this opportunity again. This feeling. 

After a few more minutes, Lunar was about to doze off. Having the normal symptoms he had after crying fits, headache, heavy eyes, trembling insides, and a sudden urge to snuggle up with someone.

Before the cutesy lashes could flutter shut, the moon model spoke up again.

“Do you want me to explain everything? Or do you just wanna go home…?” his voice rumbled in his chest.

Home. Lunar hasn't felt that in a long time. Not since the daycare. But maybe, just maybe, he can have a new home. A proper home. Maybe, it was home as long as Moon was there. As long as he felt safe. 

Maybe… Moon was his home.

The little bot shook his head slowly so as to not aggravate his already growing headache. Small hands weakly gripping Moon's shirt.

“No… I'm tired.”

There was a sympathetic sigh.

“I know, baby blue, I know.”

Moon paused for a second, before coming up with an idea.

“Do you want a mirror? I used parts of Monty's old design for you, but with a lot of needed upgrades.”

He leaned back a little to look at Lunar's face, his new face.

“I think you'll love it, I can show you how to change outfits too.” the smile never left his face, still speaking in that gentle tone. Letting Lunar adjust easier.

That's right, he looked different now. He might as well take a good look at his new form. Although at the word ‘outfits’ he perked up more, leaning back as well to look Moon in the eyes.

Pink eyes widened in disbelief “O-outfits…?” 

No way, he finally got different clothes?! After all this time?!

His tail started to wag, which he forgot he had again up until that moment. That was going to take some getting used to again, that's for sure. 

The older brother suddenly looked much more excited, his teeth showing through his smile as he nodded again. Easily picking him up from the couch and carrying him, which was much easier with his smaller form.

Lunar couldn't stop the surprised squeak that escaped him. Holy shit, he forgot how easily he could be just scooped up like that. But it only got a snicker out of Moon, which Lunar pouted at.

The trip from the office to one of the ‘dressing rooms’ for the animatronics was surprisingly short. It's been a long time since he was carried like this, he was always used to falling behind with his little legs. Now he doesn't have to be left behind, because when he cant walk, bubba will carry him.

Gentle bouncing of footsteps, moving as gently as water flows. Cradled within the cusp of the waning or waxing crescent of the moon.

He didn't even notice he was starting to doze off until Moon was setting him down in front of a full length body mirror. As a normal one would be too tall for him.

Lunar looked up and saw a familiar face. Not any of his friends, family members, or anyone else he's ever met in his short life. All but one of course.

That sweet little face was staring back at him in the mirror, his face.

His face.

Albeit with slight differences, more pastel hues, his head more rounded and less like a flat disc. He found himself not minding the slight changes, if anything, he actually liked them. 

Round pink cheeks, button nose, little mouth. They were cute, but there was one thing Lunar couldn't stop looking at. His eyes. They were that same round and wide shape, with a slight droop. Thick girly lashes that fluttered with every blink.

Pink.

His eyes were pink.

Not just any pink, it was the prettiest shade of pink. Or at least in his opinion. Baby pink.

Lunar must've been staring longer than he thought, because Moon awkwardly cleared his throat. He was still standing behind the little bot, his long legs showing in the mirror. But the older one seemed to think the long silence was a bad thing.

Moon's face fell with devastation. “Oh god, you hate it.”

He put a hand to his forehead in a face palm before starting to pace about, starting to ramble. 

“Fuck, I'm so stupid! I shouldn't have made you so doll-like. I-I was just working off of your first blue prints.”

Lunar could practically hear Moon's heart drop to the floor. He could stop him, but screw it, let him suffer for a short while. Call it karma for kicking him out of the house.

“You deserved the best upgrades I could get, but I didn't account for you disliking it! Shit, I should've asked. Im sorry, im awful-”

Ok maybe that was enough.

“...I love it.”

The older brother stopped dead in his tracks, looking back at the little bot.

“You do…?”

There were tears welling up in those pink eyes, but the smile made them happy tears. This is what he looked like, this is him. Lunar can finally look in the mirror and feel like himself again. 

Lunar felt lighter than air, but this time, he didn't have to be soaring through the atmosphere to feel like he was flying. 

He turned to Moon.

“I love it…” he squeaked out.

Then with full childlike wonder and innocence, he proceeded to run to Moon and hug his legs, his tail wagging a thousand miles per minute. The smile was so big Lunar's cheeks started to hurt.

“I love it.”

He was too busy clinging to Moon's legs to pay attention to the sheer amount of relief that went through his brother. So much so it almost made his knees buckle. Already alive again and ready to give Moon early gray hairs, proverbial hairs, of course.

After the initial heart attack, he chuckled softly. He missed this more than he thought he would. The older brother then kneeled down to properly hug him back. 

“Good, that's good…” he smiled, gently patting the small head.

This is what Lunar should look like. A big smile, tail wagging. It was as if nothing had ever changed.

“Wanna see your outfits?”

Lunar sniffled and wiped his eyes, then he nodded so hard that Moon was afraid that his head would fly off.

“Yes!”

Moon couldn't help but snort a little at the burst of energy. “Then hold still for five seconds so I can show you.”

Lunar immediately turned back around to look in the mirror again, now still as a statue besides the wagging tail. 

Moon ignored the tears welling up in his own eyes, he can cry later, dammit. 

“Alright, so you have this outfit currently, and then two others.”

He gently took Lunar's right arm, flipping up the mini computer inside. Seeing this wasn't new, most animatronics had one for emergencies and maintenance. Although what was new, was the top row of buttons on the built in keyboard. The first one was currently lit up, meaning it was selected.

“Just these buttons here, you already have the first one selected. Press the next button aaand…”

With a click of a button, Lunar was suddenly in a cute hoodie with clouds on it, shorts and shoes. All within his color theme.

“Boom. Casual wear.” he could hear Moon's smile get wider, proud of his work.

Lunar has seen this feature on Dazzle, Earth and even Monty countless times. But it never seemed to get old. Curiosity got the better of him and he pressed the next button.

“What's this one-”

Before the little bot could even ask, he was suddenly in the most comfy thing he has ever worn. It was pale blue with yellow stars, matching his new nightcap. It covered his feet…

It was a fucking footie onesie. This rocks.

Seeing the way Lunar immediately fell silent with his jaw dropped, rubbing his hands over the soft starry fabric. The older brother could tell this was a definite win.

“Mhm, and the best part? Those other buttons are slots to add your own clothes if you wanted to.”

“Woah.”

Moon fondly snickered at his own genius. “Yep, my best work yet.”

“How long did it take?” he asked, still looking in the mirror in awe.

“Hmm, well between ordering custom parts, building and data transfer I had plenty of time to tweak it. So technically about a month-”

The second those last words left his mouth, Moon immediately shut up. Because Lunar slowly turned around to face him again, his face falling as all that joy melted away. Shoulders sagging, hell, his entire little body sank. There was that look of heartbreak Moon was afraid of seeing.

“...What…?” the little bot whispered, so confused and hurt.

Fuck, abort mission. Abort. Abort.

The older brother couldn't even get a word out before Lunar was already tearing up again. God dammit, why did he have to screw up now?

“I was out for a whole month?” he asked in an even softer tone.

Moon quickly did the best damage control he could, placing his hands on the smaller shoulders in reassurance. Like hell he was going to leave his baby upset, he finally got him back and he was never letting go.

“Lunar, we had to make sure it was safe-”

“You told them, didn't you…?”

It didn't take a genius like Moon to know what the little bot was referring to, the pinky promise. The one thing he hated about giving Lunar a new face meant having to see it get upset, cry, or even frown.

Baby pink eyes somehow looked threatening, but not in the traditional sense. It was more like doing one wrong move could make an innocent little baby cry. 

“Tell me.”

Moon closed his eyes and sighed in defeat, he sounded exhausted. Mentally preparing himself for the very thing he never wanted to see. But Lunar deserves the truth, even if it hurts.

“Yes.” he said simply, straight and to the point.

Although he continued his reasoning regardless.

“But not everything, I only told them enough to understand what's going on. What we need, what you need.”

The older brother couldn't take it anymore, having the little one so close yet so far away. So he wrapped his arms around him once more, nosing the fluff on the Lunar's new nightcap.

“I've been horrible, we've all been. You have every right to hate us, to hate me.” he murmured into the faux fur.

He held Lunar tighter.

“But I will never, ever, go behind your back like that again. I did it because you need help. I'm taking action now, I can't let you suffer like this anymore.”

He took a moment to steady his voice before speaking again. “I just can't. Not to look good for the family, not so I can say ‘I was better than Nexus’, not even for the good of the astrals and the dimensions.”

There was a moment of silence as he held his little one, but then miraculously, those little arms hugged him back.

“...Moon?” a soft voice peeped.

“...Yeah?”

Lunar pulled back a little so they could be face to face. Barely managing to get his words out before slumping over again.

“... Thank you.”

Moon was so stunned at that answer, he nearly forgot to hug Lunar back when the little bot dove into his arms again. He held him close to his chest again, Lunar was too tired to cry much more. Besides soft whimperes and snuffles.

Moon's heart couldn't help but warm at the sight, despite him hating whenever Lunar cried. He was no stranger to a small little bot that needed a nap.

A weepy Lunar is a sleepy Lunar.

The older brother stood up with him in his arms, expertly setting up the portal home without so much as another thought. It was late, an emotional couple of hours, and a stressful month. 

Most importantly, it was bedtime for little ones.

Before Moon walked into the portal, he kissed the lil fluffball on the head. 

“C’mon, baby blue, let's get you home.”

Here's the full body design!

Chapter Text

We know that it's over now…

I feel my faded mind begin to roam…

✦

“C’mon, baby blue, let's get you home.”

Lunar just rested his head on Moon's shoulder, he was too tired to hold it up anymore. He felt fuzzy all over, a good kind of fuzzy. Simply letting bubba carry him into the portal and in the house. Although from his droopy eyes, he noticed Moon was going upstairs.

“...Isn't my room the basement?” his voice was muffled from his brother's sweater and thumb half way into his mouth.

He felt Moon shake his head. “Not anymore, Jack kinda took it over.”

They replaced him that quickly? It wasn't surprising, but it still hurt.

“Don't worry, we set you up with a new one. It's that cat room we never use.” he soothed the sleepy ramblings, rubbing the little bots back. 

Lunar immediately felt guilty, can't he just sleep on the couch? Sunny and his kitties needed that room. Didn't they?

“But-”

“We never use it anyway. Plus, it's about time we got you a proper room, not just a crash pad…”

The little bot halfheartedly hummed in acknowledgment, he would have argued more, but he was simply too tired to do so. His eyes fluttering closed as he nosed the fabric of his bubba’s sweater, trying to sniff out that lavender scent Moon used to have. 

Moon models tended to have a scent, a part of their systems to produce a calming herbal scent to soothe kids to sleep. The older brother used to use it for Lunar all the time in the daycare. However, seeing as it was basically a glorified car freshener, he didn't feel the need to change it when it wasn't as needed. Hell, it was probably empty and in need of replacement.

The second a whiff of it got in his little vents, he melted. It was faint, but still there, if barely.

Lunar's little heart sank at that, but he clinged to what little was left anyway.

Moon must've noticed or felt the motions, letting out a breathy chuckle. “Don't worry your fluffy little head about it, bud.”

You could hear the smile in his voice, carrying the sleepy tot made him realize how much he missed this. This felt right, it made him whole.

“Besides, I got a few surprises for you. Everyone did, actually. Even Dazzle pitched in.”

Gifts? Surprises? What did he do to deserve those if all he did was come home? After such a pathetic display no less…

Before they could enter the cat room- Lunar’s room, pink eyes cracked open as he jumped slightly at the sound of Sun's voice. Christ, was he really that jumpy? What the hell was wrong with him?

The door to Sun's room opened a bit more as he fully stepped out, noticing that Lunar was home and fully transferred into his new body.

“Hey, look who's finally home…” he then heard the soft voice drop in concern. “Is he ok…?”

Moon sighed and gently patted Lunar's back, slowly shaking his head. “No, not really. He-”

The twin paused for a second as he felt how heavily the little bot was sinking in his arms, despite being in a month long coma he was still tired. He already told Sun that Lunar was going through something but didn't provide all the details, for the sake of clinging onto that pinky promise. 

Lunar was so much more fragile then he led others to believe, and that was finally showing. All it took was mentioning he was out for a whole month made him burst into tears. There was no way he was going to keep Lunar up for only to have him listen to Moon rehash all his trauma.

He mouthed a quiet ‘give me a minute’ and the sunny model immediately understood with a nod of his head.

Moon gently sat Lunar down on the ground on his feet, holding him steady so he didn't fall over and pass out. He had to bite back a coo when he heard the tot whimper, resisting the urge to snatch him back off the ground and into his arms again.

“I know you're sleepy, bud. How about you go check out your new bed, hm?” Moon tried to speak in a soft voice to not startle the little bot out of his doze. “You go get cozy and I'll come tuck you in soon, just gotta talk to Sunny first, ok?”

At that soft cooing voice, it was hard not to notice how Lunar just melted as he nodded. He would probably be willing to do anything as long as someone said it in that voice.

“Mhm…”

There was a gentle kiss pressed onto his forehead. “Goodnight, bud.”

Moon opened the door and gently ushered the tot inside, giving him a soft pat on his little head before he shut the door with a gentle click. 

Lunar was fully prepared to faceplant into one of the bean bag chairs or the couch in the room, but when he turned around his jaw dropped. It was mostly the same, the couch was gone but that wasn't the part that shocked Lunar the most. 

In the corner by the window was a little bed with a nightstand next to it. They got him a bed.

It was probably one of the frames that the weird kmart had, he would've cracked a joke that he wanted the shrek bed frame instead. That is, if the one in the room didn't look so damn comfy.

It was small, clearly a toddler bed; but that was appropriate for his current size. The side not facing the wall had a wood bed railing to match, almost like a crib hybrid. The frame was white with subtle pink flowers at the headboard, they were a tad girly but he didn't seem to mind it. 

There was a small collection of pillows along with powder blue sheets. Neatly folded on top was a different blue blankie, but much softer with clouds on it. He resisted the urge to dive into the comfort, looking over to the items on the nightstand. 

He recognized some of the items, his heart sinking and warming at the same time. One of them being his old nightlight, it was in the shape of a cute bug with stars on the back. Which would be projected onto the ceiling when turned on. Before too much thought, he picked up the hand drawn card. It didn't take a genius to figure out it was from Dazzle, maybe even Jack too.

The front was all in cute colors and the big words ‘get well soon’, a childish drawing of the whole family with Lunar in the middle, glowing brightly in his new body. Everyone was smiling, Lunar was smiling.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he opened the card, only for it to come back up as a little sob at the note inside. 

“Hi Lunar!

Daddy told me that you were sad and not feeling well, so I made you a care package!

First is your nightlight, I'm sorry I took it. I didn't know it was yours :(

Next is a mini moon! Something for you to snuggle and keep you company.

Finally a bow for your tail! Uncle Moon showed me the blue prints, very cute!

I hope you like it!

Love, Dazzle.”

It wasn't until a tear drop landed on the card and soaked into the paper that Lunar realized he was crying again. With a gasp, he immediately put the card safely back on the table. 

How dare he ruin such a wonderful thing with his stupid tears? Why was he crying at the drop of a pin now? 

He slapped himself in the face, he needed to get it together dammit.

Get a grip, idiot.

Then his eyes met with the moon plushie on the table, in the middle of the nightlight and bow.

Lunar knew he shouldn't, it was the matching one to Dazzle’s sun plushie. Even if she favored the other more, it didn't feel right. They were a set, a set that wasn't his. They belonged together.

Staring at the happy eyes stitched on the soft face, something in him broke. He shouldn't, no matter how much he wants it.

He found himself taking it into his arms anyway. The second he hugged it against his little chest for a cuddle, the tears flowed out more.

It wasn't spigot, it never would. But it was enough. More than he's got in so long.

Whimpering like a kicked puppy, he found himself crawling into the little bed. Ignoring the sheets in favor of taking the cloudy blankie, the second he felt how soft it was he just cried harder. 

Curling up in a little ball around the mini moon, clutching like a life line, wrapped in the blanket. He rubbed his cheek against the soft comfort items and wept. It wasn't the first time he's cried himself to sleep, he has a feeling it won't be the last. 

Lunar didn't know how to comprehend the comfort, how safe he felt. 

The bed railing made it look like he was in a crib, but he didn't mind it. Normally it would make him feel trapped, but now? It was keeping the bad things away, instead.

He was overwhelmed with the sudden need to call out for his mommy, but he didn't know who that was. Was it Eclipse? Was it Earth? 

It didn't matter, he wouldn't get one anyway. He never did anytime he tried, he was always met with scorn.

Lunar stuffed his thumb in his mouth to suckle on to prevent anymore sobs, he can't remember last time he ever regressed so little that he was rendered into a ball of sleepy sniffles and snuggles.

The yawn that was muffled around his thumb was proof of that. He used to nibble the reindeer antlers that spigot had, but this would do for now.

Eventually his tears ran dry.

✦

Lunar didn't even realize he fell asleep until he was waking up.

He must've rolled over onto his stomach at some point during the night, because there was a gentle hand rubbing his back. Lunar grumbled and swatted the offending hand away, his tail swishing a little in annoyance. Trying his best to snuggle further into the bedding and block out everything.

A fond voice chuckled and kept rubbing the little back regardless of the tiny assaults. “C’mon, you've slept long enough…”

It was Sun, dammit, of course it was Sunny, bubba would never wake him up this early.

The little bot grumbled again, this time raising his head a bit to look at the older with a sleepy pout. The fluff on his nightcap sticking in all directions, dried drool and tears on his face, and somehow dressed in his onesie. Huh? Maybe someone else changed it for him?

“‘s too earlyyy!” he whined, the lisp coming back in his voice.

Lunar was expecting to meet another chuckle and possibly a different method to rouse him, but he got a different response instead.

There was a worried sigh “Lunar, honey, you've been sleeping for, like, twelve hours.”

Twelve fucking hours?!

Once droopy pink eyes flew all the way open, suddenly more awake and alert. He shot out his cozy den of comfort like a rocket as he sat up, looking at the sunny model dead in the eye.

“What?!”

His gaze was softened in concern, but was clearly trying to keep it under wraps for the sake of the little one in front of him. A skill usually a father or a caretaker would possess.

“Yeah, we tried waking you up before but you just fell asleep again.”

The little bot let out a frustrated sigh and buried his face in his little hands.

There were a few moments of silence, neither knew how to approach the topic after that. Lunar's emotions were a jumbled mess and Sun had little information to go off of, but he knew better than to ask. Lunar wasn't in a good enough state of mind to think about much more than his current surroundings.

Then Sun spoke up.

“What do you want for breakfast?”

That was it. Such a simple question.

Lunar looked back at Sun like he had three heads. There's no way that question just slipped from his mouth.

Not ‘you have new duties to attend to’ not ‘hurry were late for work at the daycare’ not even ‘wake up dumbass’. No screaming or shouting, no distress or disturbances. Just quite as the question lingered in the air.

The little bot blinked “...Huh?”

Sun’s gaze softened even more, tilting his head towards Lunar. Like how he did whenever he asked Dazzle a question.

“I said, what do you want for breakfast? Dazzle already ate and is playing outside with Jack, but I don't mind making you some brunch.” There was a smile on his face, but it had a twinge of sadness.

Lunar was stunned, eyes wide and jaw hung open slightly. He had to be hearing things, right? There was no way he went from pondering what his next planet was to destroy to simply worrying about breakfast.

“U-uh… I dunno. I'm not picky.” he shrugged and looked away, arms wrapped around himself like a shield.

He couldn't make eye contact right now, he just couldn't.

Sun seemed to take the hint and nodded, standing up from his kneeling position by the bed. He made  a move like he was about to pat Lunar on the head, but hesitated and put his hand back by his side.

He was falling back into old habits already.

“Alright, I'll let you wake up. Come down when you're ready, ok?” 

The sunny model waited for a response only to be met with silence, the smaller one on the bed still looking down in shame.

Soon the door closed with a click, Sun now on his way downstairs to cook. Once he was out of earshot and the footsteps faded, Lunar grabbed one of the pillows and screamed into it.

What the hell was with him?! First he bursts into tears as the smallest things, then he sleeps like a baby for twelve hours straight, then cranky because he was woken up. Now he's overwhelmed by a simple question and feels like he wants to throw a tantrum? 

Lunar still felt like himself. Himself but smaller, but not like when he regressed out of stress or fear. Like he was stuck in that regressed state, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't push it back to the depths of his soul. Come to think of it, he was acting the same way he did back at the daycare-

He thought back to his time with Clarity, it was fuzzy, but he remembered the important parts.

“Ah, it's already starting. That's good, you deserve some respite.”

Oh my god, this wasn't because of the new body. This was because he finally accepted himself. 

The brief moment before he flung himself into that corrupted planet, he let all parts of himself free. Breaking down the walls he built up, no longer holding back, so his final breaths were taken with pride. Or what little scraps of pride he had left.

Lunar did that because he thought he was well and truly dead, but he's not. He's here. 

Huh, Eclipse was right. He was an idiot.

Sunny was just trying to do something nice for him, and he just ignored him. He knew the rule ‘only speak when spoken too’, but when he did get the chance to talk, words died on his tongue.

The little bot wrapped the blankie tighter around himself, hugging the mini moon plush close and rocked in place. 

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

Star power ache and emotional ache were different, but both hurt. His core would feel like a volcano, hot, burning and bubbling with a pressure that threatened to explode any minute. Emotional ache made him feel like he was at the bottom of the ocean, the pressure and heaviness all around his body rather than coming from within. 

He felt the urge to slap himself again, the pain would snap him out of it. The pain felt good. Instead, he ignored it, he didn't want to be slapped again even if it was by his own hand. 

Lunar looked over to the nightstand again, the cute blue bow sitting there so innocently, right next to his new -old- nightlight. He heaved himself out of the little bed, blankie still around his shoulders and mini moon in one arm. Picking up the soft ribbon bow in his stubby little fingers.

After staring at it for probably too long, he gently undid the ribbon and tied it in a bow again, this time around his tail a bit below the star tip.

Fuck it, he can cry later. He just needs to get through breakfast, not cause a scene, and run back upstairs and hole up in his room until things blow over. With that, he tucked his mini moon in his bed to make sure he was safe and made his way out.

Hopefully this feeling will pass, hopefully.

Once he left his room, his old habits were coming back as well. Peaking around to see if it was safe to leave the room, constantly looking around for potential exits or hiding places, and avoiding any corners he could be walked into.

Pink eyes scanned around and he made cautious steps, tail tucked between his legs. Poking into different rooms for a second before leaving, making mental notes. Places of interest to hide were preferably dark, small, and inconspicuous. Even if they were predictable.

His own room, never, almost too easy.

Dazzle’s room, over his dead body, he would never lead danger to the precious doedrop. 

Bathroom tub, good spot, bonus if there's a shower curtain, but can easily get cornered if found.

Closet, predictable but inconspicuous, usually too scary for an already terrified Lunar.

Under Sun's bed, absolutely not, too many flashbacks.

Under Moon's bed, dark and safe, but could potentially be the belly of the beast if it was Moon he was running from.

He called it mapping, sometimes he'd even drew them. On the walls of his playhouse, under a chair or on regular paper.

Of course things couldn't be simple, though, because when he finished looking around he encountered his old nemesis.

Stairs.

Oh how Lunar scowled at them.

Normally, and even in his first body, they weren't that much of a problem. He could easily switch to ‘four wheel drive’ and use his arms to help crawl up the stairs. Although descending was a whole different thing.

Now? He was even smaller. A whole head smaller than Dazzle.

Were the stairs always this scary? This tall? Did they always have such a tight spiral? Was the guide railing always that far away?

In the daycare he had the slide and was surrounded by many bots and people alike who were more than willing to carry him like a princess.

Kids, staff bots, and parents would happily coo over him, offer affection and sometimes even snacks. With strangers, he was still surrounded by love. He missed that.

Then there was a whirr and the familiar sound of slinking wires, Molten coming to stand at the bottom of the stairs. His good eye blinked as he tilted his head like a puppy.

“Is there… Something wrong?”

That fear and sadness vanished and was replaced with a frustrated blush and embarrassment.

“No!” he said way too defensively before second-guessing himself. “I- Yes? I don't know…”

The tangle of wires took a moment to scan the little bot, then his eye brightened slightly once he found the issue.

“Oh, you can't get down.”

The pouting increased tenfold, “I can so! I…” then he blushed even more, faltering when he was about to trip and fall. Clinging to the post connecting to the banister with little arms.

“I just… Don't want to…”

Even with the semi-permanent neutral look melted onto his face plate, Molten clearly wasn't falling for this bullshit.

There was a distorted sound that sounded like Molten was exhaling through his nose in a huff, yep he definitely learnt that from Moon.

“Do you need help?” how a pile of robot spaghetti had so much sass, he will never know.

Lunar just decided to cut his losses, screw it, he probably wasn't going to get down without help.

“Yea…”

Great, he was so pathetic and weak he couldn't even get down the stairs by himself. 

Molten walked up to him and gently picked him up without another word, Lunar was thankful for the silence. Although he did notice how a few extra tendrils of wire were wrapping around him for support. He never noticed how the wires were oddly comfortable, like a swaddle.

The trip down the stairs ended almost as soon as it began as he was already being placed back in the ground. Lunar murmured out a quiet thanks and a nod of understanding from Molten before he walked away, to do whatever the heck it is that he does.

With each step into the kitchen, the feeling of nostalgia increases. The aroma of breakfast wafting through the lower floors of the house, hearing the faint sizzling of a pan. He found himself clinging more onto the blankie, part of him wishing he brought mini moon with him to squeeze for extra comfort.

It all felt too familiar, it scared him in a way. Peaking his head in the doorway, seeing Moon sitting in his usual spot making casual conversation with his twin. Sun by the stove in his element, just a dad making breakfast for another little one who slept in late. It was so painfully domestic, he didn't want to intrude.

His heart wanted to happily crawl into a chair that was too big for him and join in, but his body was already turning to run away.

Before he could, Moon must've seen him. “Oh hey, look who's finally up! Did you like your new bed?” His tone was warm.

It was as if nothing ever changed.

Then Sun looked over his shoulder and smiled before returning to his cooking. “Yeah, I can see that blanket was a win.”

Oh, now he understands what's going on now.

Moon must've told everyone to act natural, not bring up anything that could harm Lunar's new fragile state of mind. He should be annoyed, mad that they were treating him like a child, like glass.

Honestly? That's what he felt like right now. He couldn't find the energy to care.

As Lunar crawled into the chair across Moon (which was way harder than it should've been), he found himself slightly embarrassed. He wanted this all for so long, why is he struggling to accept it now that it's happening? 

“Uhm, yeah I like the bed. Thank you but you didn't have to…” he subconsciously draped the blankie across his lap instead, as if hiding it.

The Moon model's expression softened as he shook his head leaning on the table more as if to get closer. “Of course we did, this is your home too.”

Lunar bit his tongue to that statement, if he recalls correctly, didn't they force him to get an apartment? Kick him out without a second thought or hesitation? His so-called family?

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

The lack of response from the little bot didn't go unnoticed by the older brother, shoulders sagging in guilt. Thankfully for Sun and his impeccable timing, was placing a full plate in front of him. Along with a glass of water.

“Scrambled eggs with cheese and extra crispy bacon, just how you like it.” ignoring the tension between the two moon models.

He remembered? Lunar didn't even have to ask for his favorites, Sun served them on a silver platter -no pun intended- without so much as a blink.

Then it suddenly hit him, smelling and looking at the food triggered something in his body. 

He felt so empty.

How long has it been since he last ate? Eventually losing count after being sustained in only star power for so long. 

Any sense of manners and rational thinking left him. His mind faded. Lunar slowly reached out and grabbed a small handful of cheesy eggs, ignoring the provided utensils completely. After taking one bite of the warm meal, he couldn't hold it in anymore.

He needed more, more, more. Now.

Like a starved man, the little bot started to shove food in his mouth as fast as he could. Muffled whimpers escaping from him in between breaths. He couldn't be embarrassed by his tears or savage behavior, he couldn't help it. He was just so damn hungry. 

After finishing the meal by tearing the bacon to shreds, he chugged the water out of the glass almost in one go. Little hands and reduced dexterity made it hard to grip it and keep it steady, which resulted in some being spilt on his face and chin.

Lunar sat down the empty cup, wiping his mouth free of crumbs and water dribbles with his sleeve. Small chest heaving to catch his breath, taking a minute to not to throw it all back up again. 

Then he looked up at Sun and Moon, Lunar expected to see disgust or them completely gone all together. But no…

Sun stood behind Moon's chair, hand on his mouth in a horrified expression. A mix of worry and shock. Moon was still seated where he was, not moving an inch. His eyes told all, the silent guilt and heartbreak behind him. Moon had one thought that stood out amongst all the rest.

His poor baby was hungry. 

Going from so painfully empty to full in the matter of seconds made the tot feel sick, the familiar feeling of a stomach ache setting in. His eyes were always bigger than his tiny belly, he hasn't been so little in his life. Despite the speechlessness of Sun and Moon's quiet hurt, Lunar felt as though he overstayed his welcome.

So much for not causing a scene, I guess.

Putting the cloudy blankie back around him and one arm wrapped around his middle to help the ache, he slowly hopped off the chair. He didn't trust his voice but he spoke anyway, he wanted to show he at least still had some manners left in him.

“Thank you. Im… Im gonna g-go lay down for a while." The little voice was soft, yet in the silent room it felt deafening.

With that, the little bot toddled to the couch as he couldn't make it back up the stairs to his room. Little star tipped tail dragging behind him with sadness. He briefly looked outside the glass back door to see Dazzle and Jack playing outside, Solar sitting on the deck watching over them with a warm smile.

Playing outside in the warm sun, soft grass, and gentle breeze.

That sounded nice, but he couldn't right now.

Lunar crawled onto the couch, totally not laying where his bubba usually sits, and tucked himself into a ball. Tail curled around him defensively and clung to the blankie over him like another shield.

Maybe resting his eyes would help…

✦

Sun watched as the little one stumbled out of the kitchen, as if that entire display didn't just happen. The Sunny model turned to his twin and could only say one thing.

“Jesus Christ."

Moon just sighed and put his head in his hand. “I know.”

“I mean, I believed you. But…” He looked back towards the living room doorway. “It was this bad?! And I never noticed?”

The twin stood up and put a hand on the other's shoulder, slowly shaking his head.

“We never noticed, this entire fucking family didn't notice. Even when it was right in front of our faces…” he murmurs the last part through gritted teeth.

Moon was angry with himself, with all of them. Except Lunar.

They both watched the direction the little bot disappeared to, silently hoping he would come back and tell them something, anything, they can do more to help. Alas, after some shuffling noises it went quiet. 

The Sunny model wanted to go after Lunar so badly his body started to move on its own, but Moon put his arm in front of Sun's path. 

He looked back at his twin with disbelief that he would stop him from comforting their brother.

“Moon, I need to talk to him. I can't just ignore this-”

“As much as I agree and hate to say this, it's not a good idea…”

“Why? We shouldn't just wait! Can't we just nip it in the bud and get it over with?”

Moon made a strangled noise as he grimaced, he hated this just as much as Sun if not more.

“We can't just rip the bandaid off, we already did that and look where it got us,” he dragged a hand down his face with a tired huff. “but trust me when I say this, even just the sheer mention of any of that shit makes him break down…”

Sun just looked more heartbroken. Ever the peacekeeper, he just wanted Lunar to be done with the suffering- all of them to be done with the suffering. Though he often forgets the journey from point A to point B, the recovery. Moon spoke again once his twin went silent.

“He's involuntarily regressed, the dam already broke. He's practically a toddler right now, albeit with more awareness, but still.”

Sun hesitantly looked up at the other, not fully convinced, but he was getting there.

Red eyes looked deep into Sun's, there hasn't been this much emotion in Moon in years.

But weren't his emotions locked? Strange…

“I don't want to bring it up until he's ready. I'm not forcing a kid to face their own trauma.” 

He hated when Moon was right, but he's not going to stress out Lunar even more dammit.

Sun crossed his arms over his chest and bowed his head as he sighed. Ever since Dazzle came into his life he found himself getting more and more fatherly everyday, protective. Sure, he joked about being a helicopter parent at times, but that might be a reality if he wasn't careful.

Lunar was technically the first little one of the family after all, in a way, he was Sun's practice child. Calling him that left a bitter taste in his mouth though, Lunar was more than a ‘practice child’.

Without a word, Moon suddenly surged forward and hugged his twin. Which shocked the hell out of Sun, Moon was never touchy and he learnt to accept that. Although Moon initiating a hug was almost unheard of, alien even.

There were words mumbled into his shoulder. “We'll address it soon, I promise. I'll try- will make things better. May the astrals fucking smite me if i don't.”

Sun slowly retracted some of his rays to not poke his twin as he hugged him back. He wasn't a fool, Moon was definitely saying that more to himself then to Sun. It was a promise, an oath to finally fix everything. 

Maybe it was Lunar that was missing all along that made everything fall apart, maybe he was the glue keeping them all together.

Sun couldn't help but lighten the tension, snorting softly into Moon's nightcap. “You better, ‘cause it won't be the astrals smiting you.”

The sunny model laughed as his twin broke away from the hug to lightly slap his arm, but with an equally goofy grin on his face.

“Yeah right, what are you gonna do? Turn me into a goose again?” he snickered.

Moon's grin fell as Sun readied his hands to cast a spell, a subtle but familiar aura glowing at his fingertips.

“I dunno… Mayybeee.”

Moon then bolted out the kitchen door and down the steps of the wooden balcony, Sun giving chase not too long after.

“Moondrop Celestial, get your skinny ass back here!”

“NEVER!”

Chapter Text

Everytime you fall and…

Everytime you try…

✦

After a while of brotherly chasing, Sun and Moon finally came back inside. As Sun went back to the kitchen to get some lunch for the others, since Lunar probably wasn't keen on eating again so soon. Speaking of which, Moon decided to check up on the little bot.

Peaking around the couch quietly, seeing that the bundle hardly moved from its original position. Curled up tightly, eyes squeezed shut but not sleeping, little eye brows pinched together uncomfortably. The older one hoped he would at least turn on the tv or sit up or something. He knows all too well what it's like to lay miserably on the couch.

Fuck it, Moon couldn't take it anymore.

Plus, Sun, Solar and the others were having lunch outside, so Lunar can have peace for a little while longer.

He walked over and made sure to make his footfalls noticeable but not too loud to startle the lil fluffball, kneeling down in front of the sofa. He gently ran his fingers over the blanket, gently caressing the younger's back.

Lunar barely opened his eyes to look at Moon, the pink glow in them dimming. He just wanted to be left alone. Was that too much to ask? Everything was too much, all at once. Crying was exhausting on the small body and bubba gazing at him with such tender love and worry wasn't helping at all.

He slept for 12 hours straight, how the hell is he still tired?

“How are we feeling, baby blue?” Moon whispered softly, providing a gentle touch that was way more soothing than it should have been.

Lunar wanted to scream, cry, and vomit all at once. 

He used to be so angry, so upset, so hurt. Sure, things got a bit better since he's been coming to bubba after astral missions, but the damage was already done. The wound was too old and started to scar over, but phantom pains remain.

Like this? All of that drained away, leaving nothing but exhaustion in its wake. Ignorance was bliss, maybe not forever, but long enough for the poor thing to finally breathe.

He felt so icky… Why did he feel icky? 

No words could be spoken right now, so instead of responding he just rolled over away from the older brother. He was tired, a kind of tiredness that can't be fixed with sleep. 

Maybe this was a bad idea, he should've just asked to be put out of his misery. Lunar was no stranger to struggle, but he was so tired.

Before he could slip back into disassociation, those same hands were gently scooping him up, blanket and all. He flinched but Moon just shushed him.

“Shh, easy now…” the rough voice softened, almost like when he sang.

Lunar was like a porcelain baby doll, being easily maneuvered to stretch out a bit more over Moon's chest. He whimpered slightly at the dull ache still in his belly but melted into his bubba anyway. He was met with a hand cradling his fluffy head and another patting his back, leaning back into the plush pillow. The pats caused a few cute little hiccups to escape him.

“Thats it… We're just gonna sit for a while, ok?” the softness increased tenfold, leaning his head against the smaller one. 

Lips pressed against the fluff as he murmured. “Just you and me, baby blue. Just you and me…”

God dammit, he melted into Moon's chest, nuzzling his face into that soft turtleneck and lavender scent. Those gentle rubs and pats on his back, a hand cupping his little head, the cooing, the snuggles…

Lunar missed it all so much.

All the overwhelming feelings disappeared into thin air. Perhaps all he needed was to be held for a minute or two, decompressing without a tantrum or tears. It wasn't really a nap, but resting his eyes and letting himself be supported and held close. 

With a relieved sigh that sounded too exhausted to come from someone so small, the little bot let himself be smothered in comfort.

This was so much better than laying on the couch alone.

Sinking deeper and deeper in calm embrace, gentle ocean waves washing over him like a blanket. Cool yet warm at the same time. Not fully asleep but not fully awake either, dozing off slightly. 

Lunar didn't know how long they sat like that, but the time was definitely cut too short for his liking.

At the sound of the back door opening, followed by giggles and steps coming inside, Moon pulled back a little to look Lunar in the eye. A smile formed on his face at seeing the little bot more relaxed and not in pain.

“Better?”

As much as Lunar didn't want to admit it, he did feel better. Just enjoying some close company and the pats soothing his stomach ache.

“...Yeah.” the tot whispered, curling more in on himself shyly.

Moon sighed softly and cupped the little face with a hand, making Lunar look back up at him.

“Today is a chill day, ok? There's nothing you have to worry about besides relaxing.”

“But-”

“All we have planned is some quiet playtime, dinner, then a movie night before bedtime. That's it.” he said a bit more firmly, trying to get his point across.

Small white eyebrows furrowed as he frowned, there were those damn tears burning in his eyes again. No, he can't just relax and pretend nothing is wrong with him. As far as Lunar was concerned, there was always something wrong with him, that's just how he was made. 

“We have to talk about it at some point, right…? I-I can-” the stammer and warble in the little voice was painfully obvious.

The older gently interrupted him again, cupping the sweet face in both hands now. Cradling the world in large palms."Lunar, you can barely walk, talk, or stay awake. You burst into a supernova, that's obviously going to leave some damage, new body or not.”

He hated how smart bubba was sometimes.

An astral’s core was more than a power source, or even a heart or soul. It was their everything. Their brain, thoughts, memories, personality, a reflection of who they are.

“It was a miracle you even survived, if you were fully astral you would've died. I-” the little bot was surprised to see Moon's eyes get misty, closing for a second to take a deep breath to calm himself.

When red eyes opened again, they stared directly into the pink ones. 

“I would have never forgiven myself.”

Lunar's face fell with surprise, even his mouth slightly open. He hasn't seen Moon like this since…

Since he was in his head.

It was clear there was something going on behind the scenes and stuff Lunar didn't know, but it wasn't for the usual reason. Not because he couldn't handle it, not that it was to be used against him, not even for the sake of keeping a secret to be petty.

It was to give Lunar a break, a break that was long overdue.

Moon presses his forehead against the younger’s, continuing in that oddly maternal tone.

“We will talk about it, but not until you're ready. You can't lie and say ‘im fine’ anymore. Understand?”

There was a pause, not because the tot was thinking of an answer. He needed a second to process what the hell just happened. 

Did Moon have some life changing epiphany? Finally go to fucking therapy thats not with Earth? Did Sun slap some sense into him? Is this actually not Moon and he got replaced with a weird clone?

Oh yep, there's the headache again.

With a shaky sigh he nodded in understanding. He wouldn't dare misbehave, lest he get hurt or kicked out again. 

“...Mhm.”

He fully expected to be chided into using his words, but he got a hug instead. Which he was grateful for because words were not his best skill set right now.

“Good.”

There was some noises from the kitchen of Jack and Dazzle brushing grass off of their clothes and washing their hands free of dirt. As well as Sun putting dishes away and probably preparing to cook dinner.

Lunar pulled away from the hug when the two other younger family members rushed into the room, still giggling from whatever game they were playing. Solar casually strolling in behind them, fondly shaking his head at their antics. 

The eclipse model then caught sight of Moon and Lunar on the couch, a rare heartfelt grin on his face.

He hasn't seen that look on his face since he died.

While the two other children ran upstairs to get their toys, not even noticing the quiet duo on the sofa, he kneeled down to get face level with the little one. Seeing Lunar look to small and soft definitely triggered a memory in him, not to mention the subtle nods from his first design.

“Hey.” he said simply.

Nothing overbearing, overwhelming, or sudden. Just a voice that rumbled like a purr, yet that single word somehow said everything that Solar was feeling.

‘Its been awhile huh? I missed seeing you so relaxed. Hopefully, there can be some happiness in it too’

Everyone joked he was the ‘Moon model whisperer’, but it was only funny because it was so hilariously true.

Now that Solar got a new body, it helped a lot with the tot confusing him for Eclipse in moments of panic. The warmer colors, the half lidded eyes, and the unexplainable aura of ‘caring father figure’ radiating off him.

Lunar's brightened a bit, not quite a smile, but progress.

“Hey…” 

Above him Moon snickered at how his brother melted at the soft little voice, who briefly glared at the other before returning his focus to Lunar again.

“How's the new body, hm? Need any adjustments?”

Casual conversation, talking for the sake of entertainment and hearing each other's voices. Nothing of importance, only harmless questions.

“No, ‘s good. Thank you.” he inwardly cringed at his own childish lisp and mumbles, Eclipse taught him to speak clearly.

So why was it so hard to control all of the sudden?

Solar huffed a soft laugh as his smile grew, gently patting the little head like he used to. “Good to have you back, buddy.”

A small sparkle lit up in his pink irises, a bit surprised but certainly not complaining. Sitting in Moon's lap? With head pats from Solar? Did he die to go to heaven?

Then there was the sudden return of Dazzle and Jack, both with a variety of things for quiet playtime. Dolls, crayons, boardgames, the works. 

The eclipse model stood back up to face the two newcomers, raising a brow “Did you guys even notice Lunar?”

They gasped and practically threw their baggage on the floor to run up to the sofa, Jack sitting down as Dazzle stood on the tips of her hooves. Crowding around Moon's legs in an attempt to get closer, curious of the newest reborn member of the family.

“You're back! Did you like the card? The gifts?”

“You look different, but good different!”

“You're wearing the bow! Now we're matching!”

“Papa said you're ‘smol’ now.”

Startled by the sudden energy around him, Lunar jumped and held on tighter to Moon. Smooshing his face further into the black wool out of instinct with a squeak. Why was he so scared? It was just Dazzle and Jack, they aren't scary. A pout and embarrassed flush formed on the tot’s face.

Did he really just do that? How pathetic.

It was even more pathetic how he instantly calmed when bubba held him back equally as tight, bouncing him a little. He could feel a soft chuckle rumble from the chest he was snuggled up against, followed by words.

“Alright, Alright. I get you two are excited but we need inside voices now, ok? Lunar's feeling a bit icky right now.”

That got them to shut up immediately, Dazzle's eyes widening on realization. Grabbing Jack by the neck ruffles in a way that only a child could get away with.

“Jackie! We gotta help!” she whisper-yelled, thankfully at a more comfortable volume.

Jack vigorously nodded in his usual animated fashion, slightly moving in place. “I'm good at helping!”

Jack was, in fact, not good at helping.

But he tried anyway, bless his little soul.

The doe gasped as she lit up with an idea. “What about a makeover? Make him feel pretty!”

Solar let out a heartfelt sigh as he leaned over and gently ruffled her hair, the bells on her bows jingling. With one glance to Moon, who was subtly shaking his head, the eclipse model shook his head as well sympathetically. 

“...I don't think Lunar is up for that right now, it's a different kind of icky feeling. Sorry Dazzle.”

She pouted in disappointment for a second, but didn't let it discourage her. 

“Can I give him a knife again?" the little spook turned to Solar with his best puppy eyes, or something close to it with his eyes being an empty void of glowing yellow.

“Pumpkaboo, I love you, but absolutely not.” Solar didn't even waver, this clearly wasn't his first rodeo trying to wrangle his son's antics.

“B-but he liked that last time he was small!”

“This is different and you know that's not allowed."

Jack and Dazzle started to chatter to each other about different ways to cheer the little bot up, or at least do whatever they could for him. Solar was doing his best to explain what the tot can and can't do. It was difficult to explain Lunar's current condition as is, but it was way more difficult to explain to a child.

As Lunar watched the humorous moment, he couldn't help but relax a bit more. Slowly but surely came out of his shell, returning back to just sitting on bubba’s lap and not hiding into him.

This…was nice.

They were technically arguing, although it wasn't mean, with harsh words or insults, nor physical harm. Just bickering. With sincere but silly smiles and the occasional silly pout that went as soon as it came.

Dazzles creativity and innocence, Jack being spontaneous and random, Solar calling his son pumpkaboo and saying ‘I love you’. 

Pink eyes got misty again, but he stubbornly blinked it away. 

Lunar forgot how much he loved Jack and Dazzle, either as a friend or uncle. Having kids in the family is what made it feel more complete, like a breath of fresh air. The shittiest thing could be going on right now, but all it took was seeing them laugh or smile to make everything worth it. 

Anytime he would see them in the past, he always found himself jealous, then shoved it down to the deepest parts of himself. Being jealous of a child getting the love they deserved, playing with toys they enjoy, making mistakes just meant they were learning.

Every time they'd fall and scrape their knee was always met with a kiss and someone picking them back up again.

He wasn't a child, he shouldn't get jealous over such a thing. Though at this moment, he didn't know what age he was. All he knew is that he felt small. It was both terrifying and comforting at the same time.

Lunar honestly just wanted to go back to peace and quiet, maybe take another nap on bubba. But Moon had different plans.

“Hey Dazzle, he had that plotting grin on his face. "Didn't you get that new doll house?” 

The doe lit up, immediately knowing what her uncle was talking about. “The one with the kitties?”

“Mhm, why don’t you show it to Lunar?” he nodded his head as a ‘wink wink, nudge nudge’ gesture. 

Dazzle looked at Moon then the tired little Lunar on his lap, who was still staring into nothing. Her expression softened, she didn't need words to know he was sad, as it was radiating off of him in waves. Now much less hyper, she stood up and empathetically smiled at him, patting Moon's knee instead of Lunar's.

“Imma go get da kitties, I think you'll like them.” she said softly, in a voice only Lunar and Moon could hear.

He was dumbfounded.

As Dazzle left to go back up stairs to get the specific playset, even Jack seemed to soften as he realized just how upset Lunar was. Rather than saying words he quietly sat on the couch next to Moon. So now Lunar was surrounded safely with the arm rest, bubba and now Jack. 

Something in the little bot’s heart twisted. Seeing Jack act so unlike himself was jarring. Yet he was doing it for his sake? Why? Lunar wasn't special. He doesn't deserve special treatment.

Solar was even scooting from his seated position on the floor in front of them all, wordlessly taking off his work glove. Holding out a hand, but not just any hand. A hand that was sensitive to touch, beat up, and worn. Yet had long fingers with a strong grip, a warm palm, and proof of his hard work. A tool that Solar mastered, able to make anything he wishes with them.

Everyone was quiet, allowing the poor thing to process everything going on. The tot looked up at the eclipse model with wide and teary eyes, but there was no fear in them.

A warm chuckle rumbled in a sturdy chest and his hand extended out further, looking into the baby pink eyes with nothing but patience and love. The little one took a deep breath, forgetting to breathe for a moment. Then ever so slowly, Lunar gave him his own hand, interlocking the fingers together in a hold. Solar's thumb rubbing the tiny knuckles. 

An eclipse and a lunar holding hands, it was tragically poetic. 

At that moment Lunar realized something. His hand was tiny in comparison to Solar's. Stubby fingers, little palm, and smooth feeling that only a new material with fresh coating. The equivalent of a human baby's skin. 

Was this… How everything was supposed to be?

Lunar being the smaller softer one? Bringing light and childlike innocence to a dark place? Bring out the best in everyone he meets?

Was this the fate Clarity was talking about?

The footfalls of little hooves came back into the room, the doe excitedly holding the box that safely held said dollhouse. Lunar nearly fell off Moon's lap once he saw the label on the box.

Calico Critters.

Holy shit, they still make those?

He used to play with them all the time in the daycare, he always thought they had the perfect accessories and items. How each piece had been made with love and attention to detail, each critter and family had its own charm. As an “adult” (very heavy air quotes) he appreciated them more as art and craft, or at least, that what he told himself when all he wanted to do was play.

Too bad the sets at the daycare were always dirty and beat up, not all kids were gentle with their toys like he was. 

Dazzle must've seen his jaw drop because she giggled, sitting the box on the coffee table. “Uncle Moony told me you like calico critters too!”

…Moon remembered?

Moon then picked him up and settled him on the carpeted floor, thankfully this time Lunar wasn't as surprised. Gently patting his head before standing up as well.

“I'll help you two set up.” he murmurs as he gives the playset parts to the little ones as he releases the house from its box, setting it on the floor so it's easier to play with.

Having an adult help set up toys that are too big for little arms to lift or build was something so small, yet something Lunar missed dearly. 

Dazzle was excitedly setting up the little furniture while Jack came over, still sitting close to Lunar almost like a guard dog to protect him from even the slightest breeze. 

The doe was then handing him some of the dolls to play with, a mommy kitty and a baby kitty. Then giving Jack some as well, the two wasted no time starting to discuss what the kitty family was going to do today. 

Lunar, however, was frozen.

Starting down at the fluffy white cat figures in his hands, the beady boba eyes staring back at him. Cradled in his hands like the precious things they are, begging to be played with all the creativity a child could think of. For so long he yearned to play with them again, so why can't he move?

His mind was blank of any stories, his hands didn't know where to place them, his eyes welling up with tears again as he came to a devastating conclusion. This wasn't unnoticed by the Adults, Moon and Solar giving each other worried glances.

“Hey bud,” Moon eventually gathered the courage to speak. “You alright? Is something wrong…?”

Lunar blinked and tears ran down his face.

“I… I don't remember how to play.”

Moon's heart—no, his whole being shattered at those words. 

The once peaceful quiet of the room turned into tense silence in less of a second, everyone collectively widened their eyes at that statement.

Jack blinked, he didn't quite understand, to him it was second nature. “What do you mean?”

“I-I…” the tot started to choke up, crying for what felt like the thousandth time today. He hated crying, the sudden pressure on his little chest like he couldn't breathe the oxygen he didn't need. Gripping the dolls tighter in his hands.

“I don't know how to play.”

Moon didn't know what suddenly came over him, something stirring in his mind. Something either turning or cracking, he didn't know, but he didn't give a shit at this point. All he knew was that he needed to pick up the pieces of his baby and put them back together again. Soothing any pain that should occur in the process.

Before the moon model could launch himself off the couch and snatch the lil fluffball like a vulture, Solar was putting a hand out to stop him. Moon whipped his head to the eclipse model and almost growled.

“What the fuck was that for?!” he whispered through bared and gritted teeth.

Solar looked back to the kids on the floor, barely responding just as quietly. Speaking with the knowledge of a father in tune with his son. “I know my boy, watch.”

Before he could take his brother’s head off, he returned his gaze to where the other three were gathered around the doll house. 

Children are way smarter than people give them credit for, especially with someone like Jack. Moon wasn't a complete idiot with kids, at the end of the day he still had ‘daycare attendant’ running deep in the very scripts of his code. 

Yet somehow, they continue to amaze him in ways he never thought was possible.

Jack was gently taking the toys out of Lunar's hands as Dazzle moved to sit face to face with him, reaching out like a silent question for touch. When the tot nodded she gently took his hand and put it over her chest, taking deep breaths while Jack wrapped his long gangly limbs around him like a shield, swaying just like how he saw Moon swayed.

Lunar's thoughts were often too loud, like a bunch of demons screeching in his head. Feeling too exposed to the cold air from the phantom burning of star power. So when he felt Jack's cool metal body around him and the feeling of Dazzles breathing brought him down to earth again.

When he opened his eyes again from being squeezed shut, Doedrop's friendly face was the first thing he saw. She smiled as her little deer tail wagged.

“Hi.” Her soft voice is a soothing balm on Lunar's burns.

The tot gripped onto Jack's arm for something to cling onto, his voice shaky from his quivering.

“H-hi…”

“Feeling better?”

“Mhm.”

The doe brightened. “Good! Daddy taught me that.”

“Mine too!” The little spook bounced with joy from being included.

Lunar was a little startled by Jack, forgetting that he was actually here and not a cooling chamber he was in. He felt his lips twitch up a bit, not quite a smile, but something was better than nothing. 

So when Jack hugged him, shoving his face into the fluff of Lunar's nightcap, Lunar happily hugged back. Dazzle joining in too. Once they pulled apart, the doe placed a reassuring hand on the little bot's knee.

“It's ok if you forgot.”

“Yeah! I forget stuff all the time!”

She giggled at her cousin's remark before beaming at Lunar again. “We can teach you how to play!”

Oh fuck, Lunar was going to cry all over again. 

“...Really?” it was as if he didn't believe it.

Dazzle turned back to the dollhouse while Lunar remained seated in Jack's lap, giving Lunar back the mommy kitty and baby kitty.

“Here! Now…” she pretended to push up a pair of glasses up her nose, and used a stray pen as a pointer.

“Lesson one, prep. You gotta set the scene first! Can't have dinner with no table!”

Before Lunar knew it, he was learning under the watchful guide of Ms. Dazzle, the best teacher in the subject of playtime. The doe guiding his little hands to move the kitty dolls or make the house look pretty. Which he actually found himself liking a lot, he liked making things look pretty. Everything has a place perfectly positioned like a miniature world.

Reality melted away, as of now, mommy kitty was taking care of the baby kitty.

✦

Lunar lost track of time, he was still rusty at playing with toys and using his imagination but was having fun regardless. Dazzle playing along with her other kitty dolls and Jack still holding the tot in his lap, watching while occasionally throwing suggestions or making funny remarks that got them to giggle.

Maybe he can learn how to play other stuff too, playing pretend, building with legos, certain video games, or maybe even coloring! He missed coloring and drawing.

He vaguely heard Solar say something along the lines of ‘I told you so’ to bubba before the moon model huffed and shoved him, Solar snickering at the reaction. 

Eh, whatever, the adults are probably talking about boring adult stuff. 

Eventually Sun joined the room as well, briefly speaking to his brothers before kneeling down next to the little group. Smiling at seeing his own daughter teaching the little bot how to be a kid again, he was proud of her. He was proud of them all actually. Yes, even Lunar.

The sunny model spoke gently to not startle the little play date. “Hey, though we'd have something easy for dinner tonight.” he then smiled and whispered playfully, as if it's a big secret. “How about… Dino nuggies?”

Dazzle and Jack immediately looked interested, but the doe suspiciously tilted her head. “With fries?”

Her father fondly rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Yes, with fries.”

While Dazzle and Jack were busy cheering to themselves and celebrating, Lunar was frozen in silence once again. Suddenly looking down at nothing, eyes blank yet full of thoughts.

Has he ever had those? Sure, maybe he teasingly took one from Dazzle's plate and popped it in his mouth to get a rise out of her. Moon did that too just to see her pout. Other than that? He doesn't think he's ever had them.

Is he even capable of remembering if he did? Everything was so fuzzy now, even more fuzzy than before.

Sun noticed the distant look on the tot’s face, he reached out his hand, only to pull it away. A quiet sigh escaped him, shaking off the sinking feeling as he stood up. He wanted to help, so very badly, but he didn't know how at this point. Despite all his experience with children, Lunar stumped him. It was either not enough or too much, so much so that it just makes everything worse.

Time. Sun thought as he took a deep breath. Time is what he needs, not force.

Before Sun could head back to the kitchen, Moon stopped him, subtly waving him over to the spot between the sofa and recliner. All three of them start to murmur certain things to each other.

“See? I told you, Jack and Dazzle would help.”

“Yeah, yeah, keep rubbing it in my face. But he was playing! That's progress right?”

“We can't expect change overnight, Moon.”

“I just feel so helpless…”

As Sun walked away, Lunar's eyes unknowingly followed him. He didn't remember when his hearing got so sensitive, but he could hear most of what they were saying. He should've been offended, despite them talking about trying to help Lunar. Too little too late. 

Honestly he didn't give a shit, it's not like he can stop them.

He wanted to ignore it, but he couldn't. Why can't he turn his brain off? It feels like it was working overtime, his head always feeling heavy with a dull ache. Why did it hurt?

The little bot jumped a bit when Jack nudged his arm with a concerned look on his pumpkin face. “What's making your face sad?”

Whether it was intentional or not, Jack's speech pattern and way of speaking never failed to cheer Lunar up. Albeit a small amount, but the tot huffed out something that wasn't quite a laugh, but a positive response.

He shook his head. “...Nothin’. Just, um,” pink eyes darting around for an excuse, landing on none other than the kitty dolls in his little hands. “Bored, yeah. I wanna play something else.”

Dazzle turned to him with a disappointed look she definitely learned from Sun. Shaking her head with a wagging finger and all. “I know you're lying, that's not nice to lie.” Her voice was sincere but a little hurt.

No, no, no he can't hurt anyone else, not anymore. He couldn't take it.

“N-no! I'm not lying! I-” he felt a familiar stinging behind his eyes and had the sudden urge to slap himself again. Instead he sank in defeat, closing his eyes in shame, he couldn't look at them. “Just don't wanna talk ‘bout it…”

There was a beat of silence, but Jack spoke up again, strangely gentle. “Is it hurting you?”

Lunar looked back up at Jack like he offended his ancestors. “Huh?”

The little spook didn't seem unfazed by the incredulous look and response, or at least he didn't show it. “I asked if it's hurting you or not.”

“Like…physically?”

“Uhh, sure!” 

It was a little weird that he almost sounded like he didn't know what he was even asking, but oh well.

“No… I guess not.”

“Is it hurting anyone else?”

Lunar almost wanted to laugh at that question, as if anyone else would care. Vigorously shaking his head. “Oh, absolutely not.”

“Then you don't have to talk about it now!” he beamed, swaying a bit in place. As if it was the most obvious answer. “Papa taught me that! But you still gotta talk about it eventually, no flaking!”

Dazzle got a determined look on her face, but was smiling the entire time. “Yeah! No flakin!”

Oh. Was that always a thing…? Or was it new? Or only for children?

Or for everyone but Lunar?

The tot wanted to tell them the reality, or at least his reality. That they can't trust anyone, even their family. Their mistakes haunt them no matter the intention. They can give everything they have but it's still not enough and have to accept they are mediocre at best. 

You will never feel love again, never heal, never bring back the good ol’ times no matter how hard you try. Or even wish upon a magic star.

Eventually be forgotten, be nothing but a grain of sand washed into the sea of souls. No longer have a voice, even if you have a mouth, you can't scream.

Never crawl back into your mama's arms, because you've been bad. Bad kids don't get to do that anymore, nor adults for that matter. 

No going back, at all.

However, seeing the playful stubbornness and grins on their faces, prideful that they were helping him out to the best of their capabilities? He couldn't. He could never . It was far too late for him, but not for them. 

Put on a tired smile, the show must go on.

“Mhm… No flakin.”

✦

Lunar thanked every god he knew in existence that dinner went smoothly, or much better than late breakfast did at least. 

He did notice that Sun put extra on his plate, constantly refilled his cup, and made sure he had enough sauce to dip his nuggets and fries in. He didn't dare mention it though, he still scarfed everything down. Although not like he was a dying animal this time, pretty sure he scarred the twins for life with that behavior.

Wouldn't be the first time you scarred someone for life…

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.

After Moon unexpectedly scooped him up again (it's gonna take a while to get used to that) and carried him down to the basement, everyone else followed. It was usually where they held their movie nights, it was far more cozier, had enough seats, a popcorn machine nearby, and so much more. 

Lunar missed movie nights, something as simple as watching a movie with the family all together in a cuddle pile. The silver moonlight shining through the windows, a blanket of stars wrapped around the house. 

It was technically him who started the tradition back in the daycare, when it was just Sun, Moon, and him. He watched movies in Moon's head, but watching them in person with his brothers around him was so much better. Soon they added Monty, Earth, Solar, etc. So the rest was history. 

Were their movie nights empty without him? Like something was missing? Or did they just move on, not even noticing he was gone.

When Moon placed him back down, the tot was already going to his usual place on the floor. Not like there weren't enough seats, it was just that he felt as if he belonged there. That's where Lunar sits, he doesn't deserve the couch or someone's lap.

As everyone was settling in to their seats, but everyone was sitting somewhere different then he was used to. 

Molten was in the orange chair, Solar was sitting on the curved end with Jack flopped over on his lap, lazily kicking his legs. Sun was on the other end, Dazzle curled up next to him. Lastly, Moon was settling in the middle. 

Although apparently he didn't like seeing the little bot hunched over on the floor because he was yoinked off the ground and into bubba’s arms once again. All while making that damned startled squeak.

The older only chuckled at the predicted reaction, settling the tot on his lap, back to chest with arms around him securely.

“Heh, nice try. But I'm not letting you sit on the floor all by yourself.” he spoke fondly, gently patting the fluffy little head. Then turned to everyone else. “So, what are we watching? Anything in particular?”

As usual, Lunar went quiet as everyone else talked over him. He didn't even bother giving his input anymore.

“Maybe one of the Indiana Jones movies?”

“Probably not a good idea…”

“How about ‘Up’?”

“Not tonight, I don't feel like crying.”

“Can we watch Scream?”

“Jack, no.”

Moon must've noticed the lack of the soft little voice in the conversation, looking down at the blanket bundle on his lap. Gently nudging the tot’s shoulder.

“Hey, what do you wanna watch? You have a choice too, baby blue…” Moon murmured, a hand running over the fabric of the oversized nightcap, petting the little head.

Now that Lunar was full, warm, and with bubba, he was a bit sleepy. Droopy pink eyes full of uncertainty glancing up at him as he shrugged halfheartedly. There was something he would like to watch, but last time the words were lost to the wind the second he spoke. 

The tot buried himself closer to his bubba, clinging to his blankie that practically went everywhere with him now. “I dunno… Wall-e?” he lisped out.

He was prepared for ridicule, laughing and pointing, someone pointing out the irony of robots watching a movie about robots. Like usual. 

But what he heard instead was varying noises of agreement. 

What the fuck?

Looking around, seeing everyone smiling at him or others. Jack happily blabbering nonsense as Solar tried to wrangle him in a blanket burrito so he can hold still. Dazzle curling up to Sun in her cute nightgown.

“Alright, Wall-e it is.” Just after a few clicks on the remote, the movie started to play.

Once the room fell silent, it was like a trance. Suddenly nothing else mattered besides the movie playing on the screen. The soundtrack, story, characters and comfort of knowing there was a happy ending. 

It's been a long time since Lunar watched a movie, or any TV for that matter. On his breaks he sometimes sits down and watches an episode or two of something that's already on, even then it's more for background noise. Or something to keep his attention so he doesn't pass out.

Soon that fuzzy feeling was washing over him again, something not unlike the static of pins and needles but not uncomfortable. It was like all his limbs were swaddled in fluff, even with his blankie already around him. 

He was so invested in watching Wall-e interact with Eve that he didn't notice nor care that Moon was leaning more back into the couch. Making the tot lean back with him as if lying down on his bubba like a bed, more cradled in his arms against his chest. 

Eve and Wall-e danced through the cosmos, watching how in tune they were as they spent more time with each other. The two main characters barely said more than a few words, yet conveyed a love intertwined in their circuits that words couldn't describe anyway.

He wanted that kind of love, romantic or not.

Lunar let his face nuzzle into the comforting feeling, like an instinct of when he used to do it before. Even with his powers removed, he was still one with the stars. Time as an astral was ingrained in his head in ways both good and bad. Understanding the bigger picture.

In his opinion, fuck the bigger picture. It's the heartfelt details and small things that make it all worth it.

Soon, he wasn't even paying attention to the TV anymore, relishing in the swaddle of comfort he was cocooned in. The older tucked the blankie further around him, eyes growing heavier and heavier. 

It was downright foul play when Moon started to subtly rock him, goddammit he can't resist that gentle movement.

Any thoughts the little bot had in his head are gone, drifted away with the clouds pattered on his blankie. The only thing that remained was Moon.

Subconsciously latching onto his thumb and soothing himself on it, the tiny suckles so quiet it only reached Moon's audio receivers. Once he heard it, the equally quiet humming started, probably one of the songs from the movie. 

Falling asleep was like falling in love, at first slowly, then all at once.

Maybe Moon was his mama…

Nah, Moon would never go for that.

✦

Once that sleepy weight in his arms went limp, Moon let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. 

The moon model still kept gently rocking in place, his full attention on the little bot in his arms. Sighing softly as he watched his baby blue finally close his eyes, nursing softly on his thumb. Tiny muffled snores escaping him as he settled down for a nice snooze, face adorably smooshed into Moon's chest. 

Lunar finally looked his age.

A smile made it onto his lips, eyes softening at his baby curled up on his chest. The little body breathing even more delicate breaths, innocent coos and suckles. A fluffy bundle of baby blue and baby pink, eyelashes fluttering as he dreamed. 

“Guys… look.” he whispered, promoting the attention of Sun and Solar, Jack and Dazzle were already sleeping too and Molten had long left to do something else. 

The moon model didn't even need to look up to know his two brothers were staring in awe, an unspoken tension that they didn't even know was there dissipated. For the first time they could breathe in fresh air. 

Solar was the first to speak up, quietly since all the little ones were sleepy and content. “See, Moon?” he reached over and ever so slightly nudged his arm but had a proud look in his eyes as he smiled. “I told you, sometimes just physically being there helps.”

Moon glanced up at that stupid warm grin on his brother's face, averting his gaze with a huff. “Easy for you to say… you're a natural with Jack.”

Sun put his free hand on his twin's shoulder, the other one currently around Dazzle. An equally sincere expression on his faceplate. 

“You're a natural just as much as me and Solar are with Dazzle and Jack.”

Moon softly grimaced. “Sun, I-”

“You are. You're so much better with kids than you think.”

His shoulders sagged in defeat, last time he handled little ones full time was when he and his sunny twin shared the same body.

And you saw how well that went.

“Im starting to think Mr. I-hate-kids Moon is going soft…” the eclipse model snickered.

“If I wasn't holding Lunar I'd be flipping you off right now.”

“Don't doubt it.”

The sunny model cleared his throat to gain their attention back, stopping the usual sass-off bickering they did.

He pointed to the bundle of fluff in Moon's arms with a smirk. “Don't you think it's time for a certain someone to go beddy-bye?”

Playful argument completely forgotten, Moon looked back down at the tot and melted at the sight. He was weak, Solar was right, he's getting soft. Because all it took was one look at his baby, seeing him fed, warm, and sound asleep to melt in his seat.

No, brother not baby! Why does he keep doing that? 

Moon nodded softly at his twin's words, if there was one thing he knew he was good at was sleepy time. “Yeah, time to do what I do best, huh…?”

The movie was almost over anyway and Lunar definitely needed a lot more sleep than the other two kiddos. Slowly standing up from the couch as he adjusted the little bot in his arms to support him more on his chest.

“Alright, I'm gonna go tuck him in.” Moon stood for a few seconds to make sure his baby blue was settled. Before he made his way up the stairs, he looked back at the rest of his family. “Uh, thanks for advice by the way. I'll see you guys in the morning, goodnight.”

The two fathers briefly glanced at each other with a knowing look, they definitely understood the revelations their brother was having. But what's the fun of telling him all the answers? Let him suffer a bit as payback for all the times he was a jackass.

Solar silently waved as Sun gave an encouraging thumbs up, both smiling. It gave Moon so much more relief than they will ever know.

Once he vanished from the stairwell, Moon couldn't help but hum a tune. Walking slowly on purpose to make the tender moment last longer, fearing that at any moment the peace could shatter. 

But the tune was different then the usual ones he sang or played on his music box, it was a number from the Wall-e movie. As he walked up the second flight of stairs he couldn't resist anymore, he had to get this out of his system before his emotions could burst out of the vault door. Taking a deep breath.

“And that is all…”

Walking into Lunar's new room, what should have always been his room. The safest place outside of his head or arms.

“That love's about…”

Kneeling down to the little bed, the bed that Lunar would hopefully have many nights of peaceful slumber. Laying him down on the soft mattress.

“And we recall…”

Flipping up the console on the tot’s arm, pressing the button to change him into his starry onesie. Keeping his baby blue warm and snuggly.

“When time runs out…”

Moon ignored how his voice was slightly choking up, focusing on settling Lunar into bed. Tucking him in with his blankie and mini moon plushie.

“That it only…”

Tears burned his eyes, seeing how much better Lunar was doing already after just one day of proper care.

“Took a moment…”

The little bot still has his thumb on his mouth, Moon really needed to get him a binky at some point.

“To be loved…”

A gentle kiss was placed on Lunar's cheek.

“A whole…”

His other cheek.

“Life…”

Then lastly, his forehead.

“Long…”

Chapter Text

Every foolish dream and…

Every compromise…

✦

About a week has passed since Lunar's entire world got flipped on its head, he died, came back to life, and moved back home all within that short time. To say it was jarring would be the understatement of the century. 

Honestly, the little bot had no idea what was going on anymore. 

All he knows is that his broken star body was still with the astrals, everyone was being nicer, especially Moon. Which made no sense whatsoever. Hell, even his own emotions were out of wack, along with his memory and basic understanding of things. The new body also made his dexterity take a nose dive, barely able to hold cups or utensils. He had to kiss chopsticks goodbye. (Which he was way too upset about, eating with sticks was fun.)

First he had to learn all the astral stuff, now he has to learn how to be normal again. It feels like all he's ever been in was square one. Constantly being reset, changed or messed with in some way or another.

The little bot hates it, crying over literal spilt milk, falling asleep at every corner, eating his food too fast and getting a stomach ache or hiccups. Not able to even use the stupid stairs without help, he could barely walk as it was.

But even he had to admit, the deepest parts of him were preening under the attention and gentle care. Ever go as far as to say ‘this fucking rocks’ in his head sometimes.

Every warm and tasty meal was met with a silent ‘hell yeah’. Whenever he laid in his crib-bed hybrid thing he couldn't help but snuggle into the softness. Learning how to play again while having fun with Jack and Dazzle. Carrying his mini moon with his blankie wrapped around his shoulder like a cape. 

And Christ, he forgot how much he missed uppies.

Getting yoinked off of the floor so easily took some getting used to, but being held against a warm chest with gentle pats on his back was heavenly. Although Lunar had yet to be tucked in while awake, every time he fell asleep he woke up snugly tucked into bed.

That's how mornings started now, someone coming in to gently wake him up and tell him what's for breakfast. Taking a few extra minutes to yawn, stretch, and wake up, enjoying the sleepy warmth for just a while longer.

However, today, he woke up on his own.

The tot lifted his head slightly to look around the room, which he still didn't believe was his, to see no one.

Huh, weird.

He shrugged it off, it was too early to think right now.

After rubbing the nonexistent sleep out of his eyes, he crawled over the short bed railing and onesie covered feet touched the floor. Thankfully Moon left the door slightly ajar, because Lunar was definitely too short to reach the doorknob. 

Padding out of the door he reached the top of the stairs with another scowl, usually he was carried down and didn't have to deal with the frustrating piece of architecture. Seeing as everyone was probably downstairs, he had no choice. 

Like hell he'd call out for help just because he struggles with an everyday occurrence, there isn't always going to be someone to pick him up.

It was either adapt or die, he knew this well.

Swallowing his fear, ignoring the tremors going through his tiny body, the tot gripped decorative balusters since he couldn't reach the guide railing. Biting his lip to silence the whimpers escaping him, slowly scooting down backwards as his feet blindly reached for each step. 

Great, he was crawling like a baby and about to cry like one too.

It was taking so painfully long, having to pause and catch his breath and work up his nerve again, the stairs being in a spiral certainly didn't help the dizzy feeling either.

Don't slip, baby steps, baby steps…

He's feeling like he was back in space dealing with the stress of war, now it was all because of a stupid staircase. The little bit squeezed his eyes shut as if that would stop the bad thoughts, or in faint hope that he never has to open them again.

This was a bad idea, he should have called for someone. Fuck his pride, he didn’t have any of that left anyway. He has been pulled in every direction, stretched to thin he was like paper, watered down to a puddle. Beaten down, broken, poor little pathetic Lunar can't control his emotions. Let Earth unleash her security mode and put him out of his misery already-

Then his feet touched the ground.

The relief that flooded his tiny body nearly knocked him on the floor. He could be kissing the ground right about now. Who ever invented spiral staircases should be burning in hell, that thing is torture. 

Wait, he was on the ground. He did it, he actually did it!

That relief soon turned into joy, pink eyes looking up and down the stairs he just crawled down. Lips pulling into a small smile, chuckling in disbelief.

He wasn't a failure after all! He did it all by himself! Moon needed to hear this new development, he would be so proud. No one would have to carry him anymore, surely that was annoying for them to deal with.

The little bot turned on his heel and ran into the kitchen, seeing Moon already standing by the stove. Probably about to go wake up Lunar himself.

Hearing the small footfalls, Moon turned to see Lunar. “Oh, you're already up.” He then did a double take, brows furrowing. “Wait, how did you get down here?” 

Lunar ignored the concerned look on the older’s face, too busy bouncing on the tips of his feet and grabbing at Moon's starry pants with little hands.

“I crawled down, by myself! Without help, can you believe it?!”

Moon blinked but then shook his head firmly, looking more worried. “What? No, that's dangerous. Why did you do that?”

Moon wasn't happy about this… Why? Wouldn't he be proud of Lunar finally doing something for himself on his own?

His face fell slightly. “Why? I'm fine! I didn't even fall.” 

The star tipped tail that once drooped and dragged behind him in sadness was now raised in irritation. Tensed up and straight like a cat's, if it had fur it would definitely be puffed up.

The moon model's face softened as he kneeled down to Lunar's height, a gentle hand lifting the tot’s chin up to face him. 

Why was he looking so worried? So tender? Moon should be happy for him. This is what it's all about right? To help Lunar back on his feet to go back to normal right? Right??

“Lunar, bud, you still could've gotten hurt.”

Funny, those words hurt more than falling down the stairs would.

Deep down, he knew it was just his emotions building up, stupid toddler body and sensitivity. Every little feeling was so intense and jerked him all around like a rollercoaster. However at this moment he didn't care, he was going to make them understand one way or another. If he has to yell or throw a tantrum, then so be it. 

“But I didn’t. I'm fine.” he growled through little teeth, but it was impossible to be threatening.

“I know that, but I thought we agreed no more. I'm fine.’s.” 

Moon attempted to bring the tot closer, only for the little bot's shoulders to tense up and pull away. Pink eyes now hard and narrowed at the older.

Like a child so angry over something lost, that even when it's found the anger remains. So much emotion built up in a tiny body, so worked up they forgot what it was like the time before.

“This is different and you know it!” he raised his voice, sounding not as young as he did before. Lunar smacked his face to shake himself out of it, lest he loses control again. He doesn't want to hurt anyone no matter how pissed off he is. 

He yanked a plate that Moon was holding out of his hands, fine, he'll get his own food. It was another skill he needed to learn eventually, the hand feeding won't last forever.

“Ugh, nevermind…”

Just before Lunar turned around to go to the little dining area, Moon's worry increased tenfold. Brows shooting up as he scrambled to form a series of words that could possibly stop the little bot in his tracks. Trying to grab him once more, to keep him safe from anything and everything.

“Wait, I didn't tell you-”

It was too late.

Because the second he turned around, that petty argument didn't matter anymore. His accomplishments didn't matter anymore. The stairs didn't matter. He didn't matter.

Nothing mattered besides the two new figures in the room, not even how Sun was standing nearby.

Earth and Monty.

Earth.

She was sitting in one of the chairs with Monty standing behind her, both of them silently watching with uncertainty. She had a gift box on her lap, wrapped in blue wrapped paper and a pink bow.

Lunar didn't even care about Monty being here, they weren't of his concern right now. There was a bigger threat at arms length.

Was she always this tall? Did she always look like she could snap him in half like a twig? Or her fingers being long enough to easily strangle him, her feet that could stomp on him until he was a pancake. Despite being in a sitting position, at any moment she looked like she could get up and drop kick him or rip him to shreds.

So then why did she suddenly smile at him, face softening into a loving yet nervous gaze? Wordlessly trying to reach out to the little bot, politely knock on his walls that he'd built up. 

Neither she or Monty dared to move, letting Lunar come to them like a spooked deer. Earth was radiating concern and worry and tenderness and patience and why wasn't she mad?

Earth was beautiful and full of life like her namesake, it was him who destroyed that in a blind act of rage. He was the one who struck her with dark star power, accident or not. He saw the warnings and refused to acknowledge them.

He was the one who dared to harm such beauty.

Lunar wasn't beautiful, not now, not ever.

What felt like years was actually mere seconds. The tot swore he forgot how to breathe, his artificial stomach dropped so low it was like it fell out of him. Optics wide and unblinking, staring at the one person that should be beating him to a pulp right now. She had every right to. It was what he deserved.

Hell, if Earth wasn't writhing in pain when he first blasted her, she probably would have punched him. Lunar wouldn't even stop her.

Stuck in fight or flight, a state that keeps coming up far too often. 

The plate soon slipped out of his hands and landed on the kitchen floor with a deafening shatter, the porcelain breaking into a bunch of broken pieces. 

That was the last straw, the second that plate fell he had reality rushing back onto him, hitting like a ton of bricks. Of course he would break a plate on top of it all. How was he going to pay Sun back for it? He doesn't have any money.

The tot was backing away slowly, in hopes they wouldn't notice his attempts in escaping.

Then Earth moved, just the smallest bit, as if she was going to get up and make sure he was ok. But that was enough to have the poor thing's life flash before his eyes. 

He's too small, weak, he can't fight back. He's helpless, he's nothing without his powers. Nothing. Naught but an inkling of a person left. Once a shining star, now a spec of cosmic dust.

Lunar does what he does best, he runs.

Adrenaline flooded his senses, as short legs that could barely walk were now carrying him away as fast as possible. At some point he tripped, but instead of falling he just used his arms to run on all fours, which allowed him to crawl back up the stairs that took so long to get down from. 

Heart pounding, ears ringing, hands shaking.

Get away, I have to get away.

Get away get away get away.

Something within him snapped, only able to zero in on what he needed to survive.

Safe. Need to be safe.

What is safe? Don't know what safe is.

Need safe place, where is safe place.

Bathroom. No. Too easily accessible.

Closet. No. Too scary.

Need to be safe, need to be safe, need to be safe.

Where is safe?

Who is safe…?

Moon.

✦

Everyone left in the room was stunned with silence, well, everyone except Moon of course.

He wanted to kick himself and everyone in the damn room. Something, something, was bubbling up within him, akin to boiling water. A feeling he for the absolute life of him can't put a finger on. 

A flood attempting to burst out of a metal vault door.

The second the tot froze, he knew it was too late. Out of all the times for a little spat, it had to be now. As a former daycare attendant, he was no stranger to the overflowing emotion that often happens to children. Going from happy to sad to angry in a blink of an eye, how one small thing could make all hell break loose. 

Maybe if Lunar wasn't already worked up, Moon would have been able to tell him. Warn him.

No, scratch that. This didn't happen because of bad timing, this was a horrible idea to begin with.

Fists clenched, he turned to the other three by the table, sharp teeth bared like fangs and eyes glowing.

“It was too soon…”

Monty winced and rubbed a hand over their face, shoulders sagging as they shook his head. The remorse was audible in their voice. 

“... L-look I didn't mean-”

“It was too soon and you know it!” he stomped on the ground closer towards the gator.

They bared their teeth back at the moon model, quick to defend themselves. “You know just as much as I do, we don't know how much time we have left!” 

“As far as I'm concerned I'm not letting them do shit to-” Moon scoffed, not bothering to waste his breath on knowledge everyone already knew. He turned on his heel and stormed out of the kitchen, pace quickening to get to Lunar faster.

“Screw this, I'm going to make sure he's ok.” 

Moon ignored whatever words came next, they were not his priority. He wasn't going to let Lunar slip between his fingers this time, not ever again. It was too often that he would run off to seek precious safety, be left to his own devices, danger. 

Now it was a matter of finding him before it was too late.

Long legs sprinting down stairs to the basement, it was the nearest place to hide away. Moon wouldn't describe himself as athletic in the slightest despite being a robot, but it was rare he ever hauled ass like this. Almost ripping cabinet doors off as he searched the basement kitchenette, Lunar was small enough to hide there. 

Checking in the other room, behind the couch, under blankets, throwing pillows that dare stand in his way.

Where is he, where is he, where is he?!

Lunar is so small, he can't be alone!

His baby might be in danger-

Christ, snap out of it!

After struggling to look in the fort, he huffed with a growl, shaking his head. Why did he feel like he was going crazy? Yet he doesn't feel like he's crazy, what the hell is wrong with him lately?

Back up on the main floor, he checked the garage, the office and even Solar's room. Nothing.

What is this pressure? This energy filling his body? His systems show no sign of it, it must be code.

Probably daycare attendant protocol, yeah. 

Where did Lunar used to hide? Wracking his mother board of a brain, frantically scanning everything he saw. Practically tripping as he went up those damn spiral stairs, no wonder Lunar hated them. 

Where could he be? Where-

Red eyes then landed on the door to his bedroom, which was shut. Normally he never shuts his door unless he's in his room, always leaving it open for Jack and Dazzle to play in. 

His shoulders sagged, any panic or adrenaline faded to a dull pulse in the far corners of his mind. There was a feeling, but he didn't know what it was. Some textbook definitions his code gave him were heartbreak, sorrow, worry, maybe even love. The frightened tot choose this room for a reason.

Oh Lunar…

Moon was a master of quiet, despite the bells on his shoes, hat, and wrists, he knew how to move in a way that wouldn't make them jingle. 

Lean limbs moving like flowing water. Something ached, this was all too familiar. This has happened before, he knew exactly where to go.

Opening the door as quietly as possible.

Crawling through the tunnel as quietly as possible.

He walked over to the bed, following the sound of strained whimpers.

He walked over to the bed, following the sound of strained whimpers.

He gently kneels down onto the carpet, then onto his front. Peaking under the layered blankets draping off the bed.

He gently kneels down onto the dirty floor, then onto his front. Peaking under the starry blanket draping off the bed.

Then there was Lunar, in the same heartbreaking state as when he was in the daycare when scared.

Pink eyes squeezed shut so tight, unending tears leaking through the lashes. One little hand over his mouth to prevent any pitiful sobs or squeaks from escaping, lest they give away his precious hiding spot. The other wrapped around his throat, hushing the breathing of his vents—no doubt painful– but a price to pay for extra stealth.

Legs curled up, tucked into a protective fetal position, tail wrapped around him as well. All while trembling, not even noticing that Moon was looking right at him.

Or maybe he did, but was standing still in hopes of being ignored.

Lunar was a ticking time bomb, needing to be approached with the utmost care and sensitivity. To anyone else this would be a challenge, but not to Moon.

Remembering the steps like routine, the moon model gently tapped his subtle claws against the bedframe. Despite the noise being unassuming, it was enough to get the little bot to jump out of his casing. Pink eyes flying open as he scooted further back under the bed like a scared kitten, whimpering softly.

The older had to resist tearing up at the noise, which was a lot harder than last time he did this. Strange. 

He then let his palm lay open on the floor in front of Lunar, an invitation. Not too forceful, not too reserved. Let the tot come to you.

Eyes wide and wet, watching the older like a hawk. Little hiccups slipping out like he was struggling to breathe, tiny heart hammering in his little chest. You could almost see the flashbacks playing over and over again in his mind.

How many times has this happened while Nexus was in control? Hell, how many times total? Whenever Lunar got like this did he do the same thing? Moon doubted Nexus comforted him, not the way he was able to. Just how many countless hours did he silently cry alone? Trying to choke himself-

Wait.

In the little bots panic he squeezed his tiny throat tighter, cutting off air from getting into his vents. As an astral, Lunar needed to breathe. He definitely knew what suffocating felt like, but yet he refused to let up.

“Hey, hey, shh don't do that-” the older was cut off mid murmur by a strangled shriek, Lunar scrunching back further under the bed like a sacred cat.

All because Moon shifted an inch to hold his hand out further.

A hand that could have slapped him, choked him, hurt him, punish him, take him away, modify his body and mind without consent.

A hand that could have pressed the detonate button that blew his head off.

Moon couldn't take this anymore, that vault door continues to creak.

Taking a deep breath to steady his voice, “Lunar-” only to be interrupted again.

“No.”

Brows furrowed in confusion. “No?”

A tiny throat took in another strangled breath, choking out a sob. “No.”

God dammit, why now of all times did Lunar go silent? He used to babble away at anything that came to mind, what happened?

Moon couldn't break, not now.

“Bud, I know words have been hard recently,” daycare code was showing itself, but it felt like something more than that. “but at least come out from under there. It's probably cold, I can get your blankie.”

Lunar's body tensed and let out another choked sob, small chest heaving with raspy breathing. 

“Don't.” he bit out, hand finally uncovering his mouth to make sure he was heard. Soft voice now uncharacteristicly clear without that cute lisp, a voice that didn't belong to Lunar.

It belonged to Cosmos.

Everyone knew the peace wouldn't last, the whole truth had to come out eventually. But seeing Lunar so small again? He couldn't bring himself to ruin it all so soon.

The things he never thought he would see again were all back; like it never left. Mumbles and vocal stims in that little voice, with that widdle baby lisp. Big pink eyes that would sparkle at his favorite things, glow with life, and eventually flutter closed when nap time hits. Having that cuddle monster doze off mid movie in someone's arms.

Soft giggles as his tail wags, running circles around the others. Yawning with his entire face, stretching like a kitten. 

The smile.

His tone got impossibly softer, the loving siren was approaching. 

“Baby blue, just let me-”

Lunar can't let it get him again.

“Don't!”

That tiny little voice suddenly turned into a roar.

“Don't try to make me feel better!”

Moon could only watch in horror as Lunar let out a scream that had years of pain bottled up in it. Lighter pink pupils narrowed into slits like Moon's eyes would sometimes, cute little fangs didn't look so cute anymore when bared. Tears gushed out of his eyes like a never ending faucet, making eye contact with his brother. The. Entire. Time.

How could such a sound come from something so small, like a kitten trying to be threatening.

Screeching like a banshee would when death is imminent, because holy shit did those phantom star burns hurt.

When the little bot could no longer scream, he crumpled back onto the floor and took another breath just to wail. Rather than pain, it was one of hurt. Lunar limply laid on his side as he cried, broken sobs and heartbreaking whimpers shouldn't be coming out of something so little. 

All that remained was a crying toddler.

Moon was so happy that his baby was finally acting like the age he should be, that he forgot about the other end of it all. The bad that came with the good. While soft snuggles are nice, tantrums and tears were always right around the corner.

Fuck letting Lunar come to him, if he didn't hold him right now he would start to cry himself.

Arms washed over like waves, curling around the poor thing and taking him into the arms of a loving siren. The waters cooling the burns made him melt, but he still resisted albeit weakly. 

“Shh, I'm with you, baby blue…” Mama's real voice was so pretty…why didn't he use it more often?

The sound of Moon shushing him were like waves crashing on the shore, when brought to that warm chest it was as if that last bit of strength turned into dust. Even when Lunar wailed in his ear, hit and punched against the older, Moon only held tighter.

Maybe if he holds him tight enough he can fuse those pieces back together.

“I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry.” 

A large hand cradled the back of that little head, finding himself swaying and turning on his music box. Old habits die hard.

The older knew that no words could be said at the moment, other than soft shushing and affectionate murmurs between forehead kisses. He was so caught up in meeting every Lunar's needs he forgot the one thing he needed the most, something that he should have done long ago and so many times afterwards. 

Holding Lunar as he cries, so close that maybe he can put him back in his head. Where he can be safe, he never should have taken Lunar out of his head. Keep him far away from Killcode, maybe even take him to Destiny Island where they could sleep in each other's embrace. 

Lunar was a part of him, he needed that part to be kept close. Moon had him now, and he was never going to let go ever again.

The little butterfly flew too close to the sun and got burned, petal like wings torn, bleeding, and singed. All those beautiful colors burnt to black and ashen grey, leading Lunar to believe they were ugly. Undeserving of bandages and healing balm, accepting the fact that he will never soar again. 

Moon saw those wings before, they were beautiful no matter what.

Lunar was beautiful, he just wished more people would realize that.

The loving siren pulled every source of water, every corner of the ocean, any drop that would be spared and wrapped it around them both. Praying that the cool waters would soothe every wound, burn, or broken heart. He will hold his baby blue until the cries stop, time has no meaning here, he'll sit here for years if he has to.

If Moon had any hope of helping the tot, he needed to understand more from Lunar's point of view. It was science. Feel what he feels, see what he sees, go through what he went through. Even if it means inflicting pain upon himself.

He didn't want to leave Lunar, but he knows what he has to do now. It needed to be done.

No more excuses.

✦

The three watched Moon disappear into the other corners of the house, tension still in the air, so thick one could cut it with a knife. Yet with a hint of devastation, mourning over progress that was lost in an instant. 

Sun broke the silence, “...Well, that could've gone better.” sighing softly.

Monty growled at themselves in frustration. “God dammit, that's not how it was supposed to go.” They started to pace around the table, large feet made the stomping more intimidating. “I mean, why the hell is Lunar afraid of you?! He should be afraid of the star shit that got him into this mess!”

The sunny model did a double take, retaliating with more edge in his tone than normal. “He didn't ask for the star powers and plenty of kids are afraid of Earth sometimes! We just introduce them slowly.”

Sun got closer to the gator, as if challenging him. A duel to see who is right in the matter, squaring up on one another. Voices getting louder each time one spoke in turn.

“Didn't Lunar want to be treated like an adult?”

“Yes, but that clearly wasn't the best choice!”

“It's what he wanted, we should respect that!”

“That didn't mean that we should have!”

“Will you two shut up?!”

Both were surprised at the sudden third voice, Earth didn't unleash her booming voice often, but that made it all the more effective. Sun and Monty, who were almost butting heads, immediately backed away and looked at her in shock. 

She had her hands gripping her skirt, if she was human her knuckles would be turning white. Teeth gritted with a rage of her own, but showing far more skill in holding back and biting her tongue. The creator was an ass but he didn't raise no bitch, that's for damn sure. 

The gaia model first pointed an accusatory finger at Sun, speaking firmly like she was scolding a child. 

“You were with Lunar early on, you’ve known him longer than I have. Yet you didn't say a thing, if you thought something was wrong, then why didn't you do anything?!” 

She then pointed to Monty, equally as accusatory if not that more. Tears gathered in the corner of her eyes, hearing the sudden wails of poor Lunar muffled through the walls of the house.

At least she knew Moon was there for him, especially when she couldn't.

“You! I'm disappointed in you, this is not the person I fell in love with! It's possible to respect someone's wishes and do what's best for them! It's called compromise damn it!”

Earth slammed her fist into the table, with any extra strength it might have broken in half. Choking out a sob after a deep breath, her resolve breaking as she looked down in shame.

“And of course he's afraid of me! Look how I treated him!”

The two other members of the family stood frozen, not daring to move a single servo. She took a few ragged breaths to calm down, if she could faintly hear the little bot's heartbreaking cries, he definitely could hear hers. 

She scoffed and harshly wiped away her years, ashamed to acknowledge her sudden intensity. As someone who was meant to be calm and warm as mother nature itself, she was the opposite. 

“I'm disappointed in myself most of all, he was hurting. I knew that but at the same time I didn’t I- he tried to-” words now failed the gaia model, refusing to utter that last sentence. 

After a long pause, Sun and Monty realized this certainly wasn't the time to be pointing fingers when they were all at fault. 

The gator came around and put a comforting arm around her shoulders, they kissed her head as an apology. “Sorry, Hun…”

Her brother took her hand that slammed the table, cradling it in his own. “I'm sorry too…” he smiled sadly. “But it's not really you we should be apologizing to is it?”

Returning with a sad smile, she nodded. Glancing back up at them from her seat. “Yeah, Lunar is way more due for an apology then I ever will be.”

Earth then looked back down to the gift box in her lap, wrapping paper and bow still pristine and untouched, begging to be opened. She wrapped herself around it, like how she used to do for her littlest brother. Keeping the only hope of salvaging one of her most treasured relationships, nay, her entire family safe from harm.

“But one thing is for certain…”

She looked to the entry way that Moon left to tend to the younger, heart longing. She agreed with Moon, now more than ever. Lunar needs this, they all need this.

“Moon understands Lunar more than we ever will.”

Chapter Text

Every word you spoke and…

Everything you said…

✦

Moon never thought we would ever step foot here again, yet here he is. For a reason that makes him absolutely sick. 

His lab.

More specifically, the simulation machine.

Honestly, it wasn't good for anyone. Why dwell on the past “what ifs” when you have the present to worry about. He swore off anyone using it, it wasn't healthy.

Despite all the damage it's done, he let Lunar use it anyway. As borderline torture no less, “training” his ass. Desensitizing Lunar to emotions, putting him through scenario after scenario so he could become a stone cold soldier, just like them? Brainwashing everything Lunar thought he knew about himself to be wrong or forgotten, breaking him down piece by piece.

Instead of closure it was never ending, instead of asking for comfort it was better to scream into the void. Shutting down rather than crying, fake smiles took place if real ones, the only time to show weakness was alone.

Why the fuck did Moon ever agree to that?

He would have never let anyone else in his family do such a thing to themselves, but he did for Lunar. Lunar. Who was easily the most in tune with emotions out of everyone they know —both with others and his own— to tear himself apart like that.

All for the sake of a war they were guaranteed to lose.

Moon didn't know what he had to do specifically, all he knew was that he needed to do something here. He's not sure what would come of it, but if Lunar used this method to repress his emotions, then maybe the older could use it to understand more.

He himself was no stranger to this machine, he invented it and tested it after all. However, for the sake of any poor souls to stumble upon it, he kept the settings stable. If calibrated in a different way, it could do more damage then just simulations. 

It could implement manipulation, isolation, hypnotism, fear so great it could give humans a heart attack. 

Control someone to stop breathing, choke themselves, bash their head against a wall until it bled. Deprive one of their needs no matter how much their body begs for them. 

Stimulate a physical wound so powerful that it becomes real.

He was already doubting the intentions of this “emotional training” his little brother was doing, it simply wasn't like him. The astrals were forcing him to be something he wasn't, the star power he was blessed with was actually a curse. 

When Lunar asked him to adjust the settings, he did without a second thought.

Moon knew, he knew, what the simulator was capable of. He knew that it would alter his baby's mind to the point of no return. He knew that it was horrible and should have refused no matter what. He knew all of that but did it anyway.

Put his own family member through emotional abuse, downright psychological torture.But what did Lunar do? He took the brunt of it all and didn't even complain. 

Usually, Moon realizes he's gone too far when he is told, even if then it's too late. Lunar barely spoke a word about it. 

Because Lunar was taught that his feelings meant nothing, wishes were lost to the wind, dreams never came true, and he was weak for having any of those in the first place. He was taught all of this not just from Eclipse, but everyone. They all thought he was healed, doing better. In reality he just shoved it further down where the sun didn't shine, to let it fester and grow until it bursted out of his chest.

First it just so happened to be dark star power against Earth, then as a supernova, then recently as a heart wrenching cry.

Lunar had nothing left in his tiny body, he was empty.

Moon shoved those thoughts down for now, as he finally approached the console in the middle of the room. The swirling vortex just outside the glass suddenly felt more intimidating than usual. A twisting storm of strained feelings and thoughts, kept behind a vault door. 

After taking a deep breath, he began to type on the hologram keyboard. Fingers flying across the buttons and switches like second nature, it was his element and where he excelled. 

Soon the settings were calibrated the exact way they were when Lunar was using this machine to train, to torture himself. The moon model felt like he accidentally gave a toddler a knife and was paying the price with stinging cuts and tears.

With one final press of a button, the simulator adjusted to the new settings and beeped when it was ready for use. 

The deed was done, there's no going back.

Numb legs carried him slowly to the chamber, components humming and whirring to life. He would be lying if he said he didn't take his time on purpose, fear simmered beneath the surface of the vault. 

Like hell that was going to stop him now.

He gingerly situated himself in the pod, feeling sensors and monitors attach and hook up to his systems. Before he closed his eyes, a familiar screen popped up on the glass.

Warning: experimental settings are being used, this may lead to improbable outcomes. Proceed with caution.

Do you wish to continue?

>YES      NO

Lunar always clicked yes without hesitation, willing to throw all caution to the wind in hope of any improvement. No matter how harmful or unorthodox, even if it leads to his demise.

Moon gulped and shakily selected his option. Soon reality melted away, the simulation officially starting.

Red eyes closed, but something else was soon to be opened…

✦

SIMULATION LEVEL ONE: BEGIN

The last thing Moon expected to see was a void, but not just any void. Purple and blue haze surrounded him like a fog, an endless darkness beyond. Misty clouds rolling by like a train of thought, clouds of creation.

The original mindspace.

This is what his mindspace was before Killcode turned it into an inferno, then the Destiny Islands. 

Moon remembers how he would tuck Lunar into those soft clouds, wrapping around the little AI. Cradling the little one so close he was a part of him, right under the hum of his motherboard. Like a baby in its mothers womb under a beating heart, tucked away, safe and secure.

“...Moon?”

He barely had anytime to get his bearings before he heard that soft voice, the only voice that matters. The older immediately turned around with a slight gasp of what stood before him, who stood before him.

A version of Moon, but with lighter colors, softer eyes and a shy demeanor. Back when Lunar was first developing in Moon's code, taking in everything he could get his little hands on. Looking almost exactly like the one whom he was impersonating, a mimic. A tool being used.

The ruffles on his neck looked too big on him, despite being the same size Moon's used to be. Everything looked too big on Lunar, as if he was always meant to be small.

He so badly wanted to reach out and hug that poor trembling form, hold the newborn AI in his arms and whisper loving reassurances.

But he stopped himself.

No, he had to resist. Just like Lunar did, testing his limits.

The simulation was already testing him so much it was obvious, he knew it wasn't real. So then why did it feel so real? Like he was reliving those exact moments.

Lunar felt this way too, reliving all his trauma. 

Did he feel Eclipse choking him again…?

A reflection of himself, a past version of Lunar. The entity shrunk at the lack of response from the other, calling out to Moon again. 

“Moon? Moon…” the voice sounded like it was about to cry, and the simulation it belonged to looked like it was about to cry as well.

Moon wanted to answer that call, he had to lock his jaw to prevent himself from doing so. He felt something, but he didn't know what or where. Chest, head, stomach, arms, legs, everything felt. Felt what? He couldn't answer. 

The simulation took a few hesitant steps forward, but still kept its distance. Warily examining Moon like a scared animal, prey that was one step away from falling into the jaws of a predator. Thin hands delicately played with the ribbons on his wrists, his eyes never leaving his target. 

The faux Lunar opened and closed his mouth several times, struggling to find the words or too afraid to ask them. 

“I-is it ok if i call you brother…?” it whispered. 

He whispered.

Moon had to gulp and clutch his sweater, not knowing how much more of this poor display he could take. As for a few more seconds after whispering, the echo faded and the words were lost. Seeing Lunar's face morph from wistful hopefulness to complete heartbreak, the look of utter betrayal.

The bottom lip trembled as tears escaped those sweet eyes, posture sagging and shoulders hunching in on each other. Guilt and despair pooling in the bottom of his abdomen, Moon felt everything Lunar was feeling. It left him breathless.

And it was only level one.

With a sniffle and a unsaid “why did i even bother?”, the Lunar turned his eyes downcast. Not pleading or crying for acceptance, making a scene or trying to do anything to change Moon's mind.

“N-nevermind…” he halfheartedly shrugged, wiping tears away only for more to come.“I… I wouldn't want to be brothers with me either.”

The vault door creaked.

SIMULATION LEVEL ONE: COMPLETE

That was level one. Level fucking one.

Moon let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, grabbing his chest to still his mechanical heart thudding in his chest. 

He felt everything. 

The heavy sorrow, absolute hopelessness, the shame, the fear gripping his heart like a vice. Moon hasn't felt emotion that raw in years, he forgot what it was like. Just how painful it could be. 

If that was even a fraction of what Lunar felt, relieved or experienced, Moon wanted to rip his circuits out of his body, bash his head in, because it was his fault that Lunar was subjected to that. It was his fault for letting his baby go out into the dangerous world, putting him in this situation, this horrific simulation.

Moon wheezed as he tried to process what was being learned, he never knew emotion could be so strong that it could be physically felt. Now he understands what his little one meant when he said things like ‘my chest is tight’ or ‘I feel numb’ or ‘my heart is heavy’ or god forbid ‘I feel sick’.

But before he could get any respite worth a damn, the automated voice rang out again in his ears.

SIMULATION LEVEL TWO: BEGIN

It was back to back, nonstop, never ending. Losing track of time like he was in a casino, no windows or clocks in sight, no one to ask what time it is or how long he's been in this stupid machine for.

So of course level two kicked him in the nonexistent balls.

“DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?!”

Whipping his head in the other direction he was greeted with yet another unexpected sight.

It was Lunar again, why wasn't it another family member? He cared for them all, surely the simulator would use that to its advantage, no? Or did it know something Moon didn't…?

This version of Lunar was more what Moon saw him as, to him, the right version of Lunar. How Lunar even imagined himself in Moon's head, now having more of his own personality and wants. While there were obvious changes, he still resembled his big brother. The person he looked up to and cherished the most.

Oversized starry blue nightcap with white fluff, cozy socks and striped arm warmers, poofy shorts and that iconic star-tipped tail. But the face was twisted into something else entirely.

Hot pink eyes squeezed shut but overflowing with tears, kitten fangs bared in an attempt of intimidation. Tail straight up like an angry cat, in fact, that's exactly what he looked like. 

Any other day Moon would have chuckled and pointed out the obvious cuteness, but this wasn't a pouty Lunar fussy over lack of candy. He was genuinely pissed, and it showed.

Once again he had to bite his tongue and lock his arms at his side, itching to pick up the tiny thing and bounce him until he calmed down. Maybe even play a game to take his mind off it or give him a snack to cheer him up.

The little chest heaved before letting out another yell. “DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?!”

That shrill was enough to make the older flinch, not out of fear, out of… Something else. He recoiled from something, he just doesn't know what.

Once again, the lack of Moon's response seemed to be what warrants the most reaction. Whether the moon model had something to say or not, it didn't matter if he couldn't find the words. If he did, he couldn't speak.

A loss for words, yet so much to say.

Then will all the rage that little soul could possibly muster, he screamed, not unlike how he did earlier. 

“YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THE SAME PERSON YOU'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF!”

The resolve Moon thought he had was being chipped away, he only stood there like a statue. Turned into stone from the Medusa of indecision, so many options that one can't choose what to possibly do next.

No, no I'm not, baby I swear I'm not. 

He wasn't, he would never act like Eclipse. That monster. 

… Did he?

Then as if stabbing him in the heart wasn't enough, the knife was twisted. 

“YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THE SAME PERSON YOU'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF!”

And plunged deeper.

“YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THE SAME PERSON YOU'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF!”

And deeper.

“YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THE SAME PERSON YOU'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF!”

And deeper.

“YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THE SAME PERSON YOU'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF!”

Until it went through the other side.

“YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THE SAME PERSON YOU'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF!”

Being shot with a bullet, the entry wound is smaller than the exit wound. 

The fact that Lunar was repeating the same words only felt like he was driving it into the very lines of Moon's code, drilling it into his metal skull. It wasn't until there were error messages popping up that he realized the stimulated Lunar was glitching. 

It didn't even feel like a glitch was the worse part, this is something that Lunar would do. The little one had a long fuse, but when he blew up it was like a nuke. An initial explosion followed by fallout, then years of radiation and nuclear waste. Taking so much time, energy, and resources to clean up. Often left to wonder if it will ever be the same again, or ponder if life will ever return.

Once the looping code seemed to fix itself, Lunar looked up at him with so much hate. Those sweet eyes should never have that much hate in them, hate shouldn't even be allowed near Lunar. 

It was hate for himself, for those who supposedly loved him, those who wronged him, those who didn't come to help when he cried.

This scene suddenly became too familiar, after one last Earth shattering scream, the poor thing wilted like a little flower. Tensed posture sagging and trembling, the creases in his scowl softened into depressed dimples. Hot pink eyes now screwed shut and leaking with tears for a different reason, because once that first sob hitched in that throat the rest followed.

Moon was helpless to stand there, body locked in place. Invisible chains locking him in place, a prison permanently attached to him. 

Lunar stood there and sobbed with a little kid that lost their parents in the store, insignificant to others, yet detrimental to him. Except Lunar lost his innocence in the void of space, no one could understand.

He then collapsed to the floor of the mind space replica, the second the little body touched the floor he turned into clouds. 

Ariel tossed herself in the ocean and turned into sea foam.

The vault door creaked again.

SIMULATION LEVEL TWO: COMPLETE

… Jesus fucking christ.

How the hell did Lunar ever make it through this? He just beat level two and felt like he was going to collapse. It didn't even need to figure out what worked best on wearing him down, it already knew. No wasting time on throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks, if it's not broken don't fix it.

Before this, Moon considered giving himself a panic button to press when things got too much. He can't afford to screw himself up too badly, others relied on him, Lunarneeded him. No matter how badly he wanted to, he had a mission dammit, and he was going to see it through.

During Lunar's “training”, a panic button was offered, but almost never used. The only time he would come out of the simulation is if Moon pulled him out or the level was complete.

If Lunar didn't use the panic button, then neither will he. It was only fair.

Fair. Something he wished he was more often to those who needed it most.

Just like last time, he could barely catch his breath before-

SIMULATION LEVEL THREE: BEGIN

It was back to the fucking grind, I guess.

Based on the trajectory all of this was going on, it was safe to assume that this wasn't a coincidence, it was a clear pattern. The setting, the timeline, everything was being chosen for a reason. 

But why was the simulation showing these things specifically?

He was not liking where this might be heading.

After standing still in the silence for a long minute, nothing has yet to happen. Strange. Wouldn't some variant of Lunar be standing before him by now? Having some sort of breakdown or crisis for his older brother to witness yet again? Only to sit there and watch while doing nothing to help?

Moon was already high strung as it was, the sudden lack of emotional pain to see was somehow even more terrifying. Then he heard something.

“Eclipse…”

It was so wispy and quiet that Moon could barely hear it. 

He started turning his head and body to search for the source of those whispers, taking careful steps to not anger what it could be. It sounded like the little one he once knew, but the echo came from all around like a beast taunting him.

Could Lunar turn into a monster if he wasn't careful enough? If he didn't get to him in time?

Moon vigorously shook his head to get rid of those thoughts, with his insides trembling and his walls crumbling, there was no time for worse case scenarios. Because even if it was a beast, it was still Lunar. It was still his baby. 

Gulping, taking deep breaths, clutching his chest and the fabric of his sweater. Anything to lessen the pressure of dread building up inside. 

Was dread even an emotion?

“I-i’ll do whatever you want…”

This time the whisper sounded like it was coming from a completely different direction, so it was taunting him. 

When he whipped his head around to the new direction of the whispering he was met with nothing once again, but the sound of bells and footfalls caught his attention. Although it sounded like it was limping, it struggled to walk even when it had both legs. Attempting to run away despite whatever injury it had.

The fight or flight instinct was one hell of a reflex.

Soon the beast was skittering all around him in the darkness, an animal right in the middle of the food chain. Predator and prey instincts fighting each other to see who comes out on top, run like a bunny or fight like a lion.

After turning and looking in all directions of the noise, spinning around as if he was making himself dizzy –which wasn't needed due to the fact he was already dizzy with confusion. The movement finally stopped behind him, everything going deathly quiet. 

Except for the sounds of wires fizzing out and short circuiting.

It was an unexplainable feeling, having the hunch that someone was watching you, silently and ready to pounce. You are nothing but a piece of meat, sustenance needed to live. Nothing personal of course.

For the first time Moon felt genuine fear.

Not fear of something silly or for someone else, fear for himself. For his safety. For his life.

Moon knew he had to face it though, for Lunar. Slowly turning around and seeing the “beast” only made his fear increase. Yet it was accompanied by bone crushing guilt, for what he saw was not the lunar he knew.

It was his dark blue and cyan body, but the face was nigh unrecognizable. More than half of the face plate looked like it was blown off with a rocket launcher, exposing wires, motherboard, everything. The glittery body suit was dirty and covered in debris, most of his casing charred or melted, his voice box barking out the occasional garbled noise.

The remaining eye on its face was big and wide, unblinking as if it was stuck that way. A black pupil so dilated barely any white sclera remained, empty and soulless.

Standing there, menacingly.

Moon was very opinionated, he usually had something to say about everything. However, he's been more quiet in these moments than he was in years. For once, he was utterly speechless.

That thing, he refuses to call it Lunar. That was an eldritch horror being, that couldn't be his baby blue… Can it? 

The moon model and the entity had a small staring contest, a stalemate. Stuck between fight or flight, huh, so this is what it feels like. This fucking sucks. 

Most of its mouth was blown off, the voice box obviously broken with its sorry attempt at words. Yet somehow, Moon could hear it clear as day in his head, telepathically in a way that made his brain hurt.

“Just please don't kill me…!”

Moon softened ever so slightly but still kept his guard up, he didn't know what this thing was and why it was intimidating a warped version of Lunar. Wasn't he blown to smithereens? Down to a single nano machine? He wouldn't have looked like this.

He knew a pattern when he saw one, once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, and three is a pattern. This wasn't showing him memories of Lunar to make him break, it was using Lunar to make him feel. 

Feel the same things he did, the sadness, the anger, the fear. 

Moon's stomach dropped, this machine was way smarter than he thought it was. If its set goal was to break someone, it would achieve that goal by any means necessary. It would go to the extreme lengths of psychological torture, bring up the things you hate about yourself and throw it back into your face. 

Replay your own death over and over again.

However, the entity didn't seem to like the new discovery he made. Without warning; it lunged forward. It was a cross between fleeing and attacking in self defense.

"̶͔̘̣̖͔̫̂͆̈̇͋̽̑Ḿ̶̡̖̤̻̼̥̲͓̟̿͛̔̍́̈́̅͘ͅÖ̸́̃ͅN̶͎̞͕̻͙̎̾̒̔͘͠T̵̢̨͙͎̰̰̘̟̣̻͓̊̄̑́̔͛͒̆Ỳ̸̪̫͓͙͕̓̾̓͒̊̔͆ ̸̘̦͇̈́̿̊ͅP̴̛̛̬̟̪͎̪͆̐̉̽̂̎̎͝L̸̡͙̮̼̠͔̯͎͇̎̽̋̾͋ͅÉ̶̢̦̑͛̋̓̃Ą̷̨̗̥̮̟͖͇̮̫̱̄̍̿̑̑͐̃͋̈́-̶̙̣͑̿͝"̷͎͙̟̥̟̖͎̪̯̣̎͐̅͆͊̄͝ͅ

Just when it was less than a foot away from Moon, who opened his arms for it to come into, it disappeared. 

The vault door creaked yet again.

SIMULATION LEVEL THREE: COMPLETE

Now he was trembling.

Vents taking in and releasing air in a spastic manner, a mimic of hyperventilation. He had nothing to brace himself on, so he fell to the stimulated floor.

No, because what the actual fuck was that?

Moon propped himself on his arms and elbows to look in the faint reflection on the ground, eyes screwed shut as if trying to squeeze the memory out of his head. Fists clenched tightly the knuckles would have turned white if he was human. Air got caught in his throat as he coughed and gasped. 

“Wh...What is happening?!”  he gritted out, trying to at least sit up. Rolling over with a groan, he felt like he just had a damn heart attack.

When the hell did the simulations feel so real? Moon swore his body hurt physically, his actual body, his body in the mindscape. He eventually hauled himself to sit up, clutching his benk knees for support as without them he'd fall back over. Yeah, screw trying to stand. Not unless he wanted to land on his sorry ass.

This pain, these feelings. Why was he experiencing them? He would normally say he feels like he's about to explode but that was just cruel to think now. Not when he just witnessed and felt Lunar's death for the second time. Not when he's only gotten to level 3 and was already breaking. Not while Lunar managed to survive countless levels without breaking a sweat.

Moon wasn't exactly sure what task it was that he set out to do, but he knew it had to do with this. Whatever it was, it was far from achieved yet. He had to keep trying, for Lunar.

The moon model gulped before he stood up, however shaky he may be. He had to finish this even if it killed him, crippled him, or destroyed him. 

Something told him he had to, someone told him he had to. A woman.

SIMULATION LEVEL FOUR: BEGIN

With now found vigour and energy he turned to look at the materialised words, a second wind passing through him. A breeze like one would feel walking on the beach by the ocean, your footfalls indenting into the wet sand as they left footprints in their wake. 

Destiny islands.

Suddenly, he knew everything was going to be fine. Not yet, but eventually. She said so. In order to help Lunar, Moon needed something first and he was going to raise all hell until he could obtain it. 

He growled, “C’mon…” he generated up the synthetic saliva in his mouth and spit it in the ground as an insult.

Moon gritted his teeth again, this time with determination. Shouting at the damn simulation status display.

“DO YOUR WORSE!”

There was the clicking of a tongue.

“Tsk tsk tsk, Moonie. Don't you, of all people, know to be careful what you wish for?”

The older turned for what felt life the thousandth time today, but this was the most shocking thing he's laid his eyes on.

The simulator was getting smarter.

What stood before him, who stood before him wasn't like the other Lunar's he's come across. He wasn't innocent nor beast, but something else entirely.

What he could only assume was some form of Lunar, but much more different.

Rosy skin replaced the soft blues, an ice cold gaze replaced the soft pink eyes. His body was more similar to his astral form in height, but was carried in a different fashion. Alluring, devoid of the innocence Lunar known for. As if the attire didn't give it away. Revealing top, fishnet tights, long boots, and suggestive accessories.

Was that a hole in his chest?

Moon could feel the negative star power rolling off him in waves that could knock him over, he squinted. No, it couldn't be…

“...Lunara?” 

That smirk only grew wider.

“Oh no no no. I'm not like that whore.”

Ok, yep, this was a whole ass different beast because that thing had a giant fucking hammar.

The alluring being smirked and shook his head, high heels clicking as walked around him like a shark circling its prey. His movements are naturally scandalous without trying, reaching out a hand to play with the bell on Moon's nightcap. 

A cheeky giggle escaped his throat softly when the other flinched and pulled away with disgust.

“Im worse.”

Moon never wanted to retract a statement more in his entire life. 

“What do you mean ‘I'm worse’? Who the hell are you?!” he growled as he backed further away without even realizing it. “You're not my Lunar, he would never-” A well manicured claw was put up to Moon's lips, a sour frown on his own black lips. 

“Seesh, I forgot how much you yap.” he grumbled, but cleared his throat and shook it off, quickly returning to his flirty persona.

Heels clicked as he walked closer and closer as Moon backed further away. 

“Y’know, it's a shame really…”

When the older felt something on his back he jumped, looking behind him he saw nothing. Although he was clearly pushed up against something, an invisible wall or barrier.

The faux Lunar leaned in closer, their foreheads almost touching as those same claws raked across the exposed metal of Moon's neck. Though the forehead touch was nothing like when they did it affectionately, this was in an attempt to intimidate. Which, unfortunately for Moon, was working.

“I would have loved to get a chance to torture you again…” he murmured right into the olders audio receiver, the soft voice had no right getting that low and huksy.

Why the hell did he say “again”?

Just when a chill ran up Moon's spine, the being cackled and backed away but still kept the other cornered. 

“Ah, but where are my manners?” he wiped away a fake tear with a sigh. He looked back at Moon with half lidded eyes and a smirk, tilting his head cutely in a manner way too innocent for someone like him.

“You can call me Lust~”

Well that certainly explained things. But Lust? Lust?! 

Even when Lunar acted more “mature” he would never be the type to be flirty or flaunt his body in such a way. A giant spiky hammer? No, Lunar would choose something more light and versatile, not an oversized meat tenderizer.

Then his eyes drifted back to the cavity in Lust's chest, that was no ordinary wound.

He ripped his own damn heart out.

It was a void where his heart should be. Beaten and broken to all hell, now exposing a vulnerable underbelly. Something that was too pure for this world, so it had to be protected. Yet it was to no avail, it was too late.

This wasn't some yandere dark astral Lunar.

This was a Lunar that had their innocence stripped away. A Lunar that had nothing left to lose. A Lunar that felt so unloved he turned to mindless lust to feed off of. A poor little soul that had no other choice but to go to the dark side. 

With that realization, tears flooded red eyes. Overflowing. Yet he was still as a statue.

Stuck between fight or flight, frozen in fear and indecision. This simulation was pulling him back and forth so fast it was giving him emotional whiplash. One minute he wanted to cry, the next he wanted to scream, the next he wanted to choke himself. 

If this is what Lunar felt on a daily basis, no wonder he can't control his emotions, keeping a lid on it was like trying to wrangle a lion in a tiny box. His heart felt like it was on fire, a pressure in his sternum as if he was going to explode. 

What parts of these feelings were real or star power? 

Lust's face showed surprised for a split second before morphing back into a mischievous grin, crossing his arms over his chest. To protect what's left of a broken heart.

“Oh, you're not as much of a dumbass as I thought you were.” He then lazily shrugged, “That makes my job easier.” the succubus tail flicking in a pleased manner.

That made Moon snap out of it enough to find his voice again, blinking away the tears to look the faux Lunar dead in the eye. Soulless, ice cold eyes.

“What're you gonna do huh? Kill me!?” his voice was strained, preventing himself from shouting and potentially pissing off the dark astral even more. “Well, newsflash, horn dog! I'm not going down without a fight!” 

Moon knew every ounce of confidence in his tone was fake. Despite the fact he might die from an animatronic equivalent of a heart attack from stress, he couldn't bring himself to hurt any form of Lunar. Fake or not. He never wanted to do that again, unintentional or not. He wasn't taking the chance.

Unfortunately for him, Lust seemed to know all this too.

Lust huffed with a roll of his eyes, “All bark and no bite, typical.” he sauntered back over to him, harshly grabbing the chin region of the two toned faceplate. Digging the claws into the metal so hard that Moon actually winced, the pain felt too real to be simulated.

The faux Lunar studied Moon with a scowl on his face, icy eyes barring into him to read his soul. Humming in thought before he pouted and ripped his claws out of the metal, now coated in oil.

The older cried out as the motion threw him back on his knees, grabbing the damaged area in an attempt to stop the bleeding. He just hopes that it didn't puncture any major wiring, or at least that the wound didn't transfer to reality.

Lust bared his teeth as he spoke through them, “Lucky for you…”

He gazed at his oil covered nails and licked the oil off sensually without so much as a flinch. That alone made Moon want to puke. The faux Lunar looked back down at the other with a hand on his hip, almost feeling pity.

Almost.

“Fate must be feeling particularly generous today.”

It was Moon's turn to scowl, albeit through tears and pain. “The fuck is that supposed to mean…?”

Lust lapped up the rest of the oil before humming, looking down upon the poor, pathetic creature that resembled someone he once loved. He remembers how those ruby eyes once looked at him, with familial love, hate, sadness.

Then nothing.

Then pain.

Then nothing, then pain, then nothing, then pain.

Then nothing.

Alas, he can't let those memories cloud his judgement.

“What do you think these are, hm?” he drawled, looking around the simulated mind space. “These simulations, you think they are just that. Simulations.”

The black heel stomped down in front of Moon as he bent down, making the other flinch as Lust’s voice dropped again. “Answer me.”

The older moon model steeled his nerves, for Lunar's sake. This had to be the final level right? Because this one sucked ass.

“Yes,” His voice was hoarse. “That's what I built this machine for, t-thats how i programmed-”

“Wrong answer~”

Moon's head was shoved back into the ground, the heel pressing down the flat backing of his faceplate. Damn daycare heads and their pipe necks. It was like balancing a bowling ball on a tooth pick.

Now he was struggling to breathe, suffocating against the floor as sadistic giggles echoed around him. Error messages filling his vision, popping up like he had malware in his code. 

His nonexistent lungs burned, muffled screams stuttering out of a now damaged voice box. Arms flailing around to try to pick himself back up again but to no avail. He was blind, silenced, and forced to listen to the laughter of the one who had him under his heel.

Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil.

Once Moon's struggle faded along with his consciousness, Lust sighed disappointment as he let up his heel.

“Damn, at least my Moon put up more of a fight…” The faux Lunar mumbled as Moon rolled to the side and coughed, hacking up any stuck oil in his vents. “I thought most Moons were predators, where the hell is your prey drive, huh?”

“His” Moon? Other “Moons”? 

Between the cracked glass in his optics, blurred screen, and warning messages, he could barely see. Only a blob of pink was visible, but the hatred was felt in pulsing waves.

“WhAt..?” Moon winced and cringed at the sound of his glitched voice, it was grating to his own ears. “MoSt… mOons…?”

Unbeknownst to Moon, a flicker of guilt went across Lust's ice cold eyes. A hesitation. It went as soon as it came.

“Every,”

Lust kneeled down.

“Single,”

He grabbed Moon's face plate again.

“Thing,”

The faux Lunar hardened his gaze, making sure that it filled what little vision Moon had left.

“That you've ever seen here, is real.”

His jaw tightened as if holding back the will to bite, hissing through his teeth. Even to a being as sick and twisted as him, the words he spoke were disgusting to him.

“Every ‘simulation’, every, ‘what if?’ Every bloody ending is real. In some form or another…”

Moon fully expected for the dark astral to break his face in two, have his motherboard ground into dust beneath that luxurious heel. 

What he did not expect was tears, were those even tears?

From what little he could see, there was something flowing out of those icy optics, it looked red. It couldn't be blood, it was far too fluorescent, almost glowing and pulsing in hue. It looked like it burned those flushed pink cheeks as it rolled down them, from a trickle to a roar.

The trembles in his body came through in his voice as well. “These… Scenarios happened. They’re real.”

Either Moon royally screwed up his calculations or this simulation was getting too intelligent for its own good. There's no way any of that was real. Hell, this isn't real. 

As if Lust could read his mind he jerked Moon's faceplate closer, who was barely functioning at this point. Voice box hopeless garbling pleas and questions, face damaged almost beyond recognition. One good red eye squinting, barring its warmth into the cold of the other. Even with his life at near end he still wanted answers.

That determination, that stubbornness, that will. It all reminded him of…

Of someone he despised, and that pissed him off.

That pink hand slammed Moon up against the invisible wall, arm trembling but not with lack of strength. The older choked on his own oil weakly as the younger's screams and cries fell on what he thought were deaf ears.

“Don't you get it?! This isn't a simulation machine! It's a crystal ball!”

Thud.

“He was real!”

Thud.

“They were real!”

Thud.

“I'M REAL!”

Behind the blush colored body spread open two masses off his back, grey and torn. Paper thin with tattered ends and holes, from each rip and tear, there was a never ending fountain of hot pink blood bleeding from them. 

No matter how fucked up his vision is, Moon saw them. Now, for the first time, he felt them too.

This faux form of Lunar was starting to become unstable just like the others, but this time, he was starting to break apart into different butterflies. Deteriorating yet beautiful as each one eventually took flight, their wings the same grey and bloodied pink.

Lust no longer had the will to keep slamming his victim against the wall, heartbroken without a heart, tears frustrated and angry. Any flirty mask he had left crumbled away, his raw side exposed to the pound of salt to his wound.

Usually torturing those who wronged him felt good, almost as good as sex! The same he fed off of! Killing them, bringing them back, again and again and again. What the hell made this Moon so special? 

Lust was openly sobbing now, babbling with his eyes squeezed shut. Not even he can look at what he did.

“How many caterpillars are you gonna prematurely rip out of their chrysalis’?!”

“How many wings have to be ripped off of butterflies in order for you to understand?!”

“How many butterflies have to die just for-?!”

With little strength Moon had left, he lifted his arm that once dangled limply at his side. Long fingers feeling around down the arm that pinned him like a butterfly, until he reached that round face.

Moon didn't care what this form of Lunar did to him, he still hated seeing that face upset. It looked so different, but to Moon, they were all the same. Honestly, he probably deserves all of this in some sick way. Karma’s a bitch. 

His larger hand cupped that sweet face, wiping away a tear with a tender swipe of the thumb. 

“Shhhhh…” the soothing shushing sounded more like a hiss, but the message came across. 

Lust’s eyes open again, looking at Moon in disbelief. That tiny spark of warmth within the icy blue won him over, it was a lit match in a snow storm, but it was enough. He leaned his face into the palm, more and more butterflies flying off of him, each taking a little piece with it.

With a broken face, the older smiled as he saw that brief flicker of light. He could barely feel his body, his sensors were probably fried or shot. Moon didn't care about any of that, he was known for his one track mind. Right now, that track is Lunar. 

Lust still had tears streaming down his face but his expression became unreadable, as if something overridden his systems and flushed out any way of showing feelings besides tears. 

He closed his eyes and let out a shaky sigh, gently lowering Moon back on the ground, having the mercy to at least sit him up against the wall so he could see. Slowly backing away with his hands up in surrender, his connection to this dimension was becoming more and more unstable. Butterflies of rot picking him apart, the fluttering of their wings was strangely soft compared to the one they were formed of.

Lust had ripped his own heart out long ago, yet it still felt heavy in his chest. 

“I was wrong,” he breathed out, his shaky voice holding so much emotion that it was jarring from his blank looking face. “You are different.”

A confused sound managed to escape out of Moon's voice box, working eye squinting even more. He never thought of himself as special, lucky, or even a good person most days. Why would, a dark astral Lunar of all things, say he was different from the ‘others’ is beyond him.

The faux Lunar looked down at his deteriorating hands, seeing tears of molten lava drop onto the skin that was left. Looking back up at Moon with his fists clenched.

“...You passed.”

More and more butterflies flew off of his form, deteriorating quicker now as if he accepted his fate. Lust was still choked up like he was sobbing, yet his face still showed no emotion.

“You have one last test, please, whatever you do…”

At this point only his face was left, the window to the other side was closing. Before the butterflies carried the last of him away, one last plea was whispered.

“Don't fuck this up…”

Once the last butterfly flew away the simulated mindscape was reset, undoing all the damage done to Moon with it.

The vault door creaked louder than ever.

SIMULATION LEVEL FOUR: COMPLETE

As the air came rushing back to his body, he nearly choked on it. His vision returned so quickly it gave him vertigo, clutching his head with a groan. 

What the hell did he get himself into?

The older bot had no idea what the dark astral was talking about, what did he pass? Was this some sort of test? Moon went into this for a better understanding, not some cosmic test to determine if was ‘worthy’ or some crap. He knew he wasn't worthy, he didn't deserve Lunar's forgiveness but that wasn't going to stop him. 

He leaned back against the wall, looking up at the all too familiar hot magenta and cool blue clouds as they mixed into a tepid purple. Heaving air in his vents like he couldn't get enough, screw being stimulated, this felt too real. Everything felt too real.

Was Lust being truthful? About this just being a crystal ball into different universes and timelines? Moon never questioned how it could have worked differently. It was built based on numbers, percentages and calculated chance, producing an outcome most probable.

He never would have dreamed it gathered that data from other dimensions, much less piercing the veil in between them to establish a brief connection. Yeah he's never fucking around with settings ever again, thank heavens he banned Sun from using it.

Too bad it was too late for Lunar…

SIMULATION LEVEL FIVE: BEGIN

Moon was getting tired of this, of course there was no break. No rest for the wicked. 

One more level. He can do this…he can do this…

He had to.

The older bot just sat there, waiting for the next variation of Lunar to show up. Probably beat him up, kill him, fight to the death. He let out a shaky sigh as he rested his head on his knees as they were brought up to his chest. If this is what Lunar felt like every waking hour, no wonder the poor thing was exhausted. Because Moon felt like he was about to collapse.

Then he realized something, it was quiet, too quiet. Wouldn't a version of Lunar be seeking revenge by now? The rest of them made their presence known right away, even before showing themselves. 

But then he heard something come from behind him. It wasn't a snarl, it wasn't a curse, it wasn't even loud. It was three simple words, weakly breathed out between choking noises. 

“Moon… It hurts.”

The door cracked.

Moon knew that soft tone, it was the most similar to the one that was recently used by its owner. Plus the fact that it was voicing pain and hurt and why the hell was it fighting through choking noises?!

Behind him, he found his last challenge and it was his hardest one yet.

An astral form of Lunar, the one he recognized. The form he had before Moon gave him the new body he has now. Rather in the arms of Taurus, the astral was on the floor with the shattered cavity on his chest facing up for all to see. Exposing the overworked core, the power leaked out in what could only be described as astral blood. 

The white dwarf in the middle was white hot with star power and energy, molten gold overflowing out of the wound. It was like the tears of Lust, but this was hotter than any lava Moon knew of. It glowed so brightly it hurt his eyes, it hurt his soul. The very life blood of an astral, of Lunar, was oozing out like a waterfall in slow motion.

When the dying star turned their head to look at the older bot, it was all over.

Beautiful eyes were overcome with burning power, irises and scleras were bright voids compared to what they used to be. Golden tears leaking nonstop, as if it wasn't coming out of his chest enough. Moon couldn't tell if he was actually crying, leaking star power or both. Some was even coming out of his mouth as they choked on it, stuttering out another weak plea.

“Bubba… It hurts.”

The door cracked.

Adrenaline flooded his sensors, the kind that gave mothers the super strength to lift cars off of their children. But one step later, his faceplate bumped into an invisible yet solid surface. 

Thud.

Hands pushed against it like a mime, trying to shove whatever it was out of the way to get to Lunar, his brother, his everything. He stepped back to get a better look at the offending blockade, only to now realize that his past was once again biting him in the ass. Before his eyes was a see through door, like the safe doors you see in banks and top secret facilities. It was red, lines of code running all around it, for something that looked like a hologram it was stubbornly good at its job.

It was the vault.

The damn fault that he put in place to keep his emotions from getting the better of him. Feeling was one thing, but he felt too much. The seal was supposed to make things better, to make things easier. Yet ever since its inception, it's been nothing but trouble.

But then three more words were spoken, words that single handedly pulverized the last of any resolve Moon had left.

“Mama… It hurts.”

.

.

.

.

.

.

The door- NO! FUCK THE DOOR!

Moon roared with every bit on his voice box, claws extended so sharp that they almost looked like he still had his killcode. Said claws were shoved into that vault made of red code, ripping and tearing at it like a wild animal. Even red eyes were narrowed into slits, honing in on what matters most: destroying that vault.

Breaking it apart, by 1s and 0s, pixels, numbers, brick by boring brick. Ripping off the handles, tearing it off by the hinges, taking everything off with it, along with the wall and kitchen sink. Everything must go. 

He didn't care if destroying this firewall damaged his code beyond repair, he was going to get to his baby if it was the last thing he ever did. 

Moon thought back to that family's photo they all took together, before Solar died, before Earth got hurt, before Lunar became an astral. In that picture, and every picture after it, a fake smile was worn. Lunar was suffering in silence for so long, yet nobody knew nor cared. 

Then he thought about the very first picture he took of Lunar, it was not too long after he got his first body. Monty took him out to try a bunch of new foods to make sure his taste buds and biofuel converter were working, plus just to spoil the lil guy. The poor thing ate too much and ended up falling asleep, tiny little body curled up in his beanbag where his older brother tucked him in.

Older brother, suddenly that term felt like it wasn't enough. They use that term because they felt it was simpler to use, as to not add even more confusion to their overly complex family tree. Now he doubted himself, was that even the right decision? Did his poor baby always see him as mama? Just how many nights were spent crying because no one was there to hold him?

Every thought, every question, only made him more determined to get through that damn door. He was almost there, he could feel it. Just a few more punches, to work it at a little more. 

Tearing, tearing and tearing, until… It stopped. The vault was no more.

It disappeared before his very eyes, pixels dissolving and fizzing out to nothing. The lines of code stopping their paths and cycles only to break away, a chain broken. A firewall that stood strong for so long, standing tall despite every devastating thing that was thrown at it. Only to crumble at its creator's undoing at the sight of a sad little soul.

“Lunar!” he cried out, running as fast as his legs could carry him, “Lunar, no!” Moon couldn't care less about the vault vanishing like it never excited, nor about the possible repercussions. 

He dropped to his knees and skidded to a stop, a movement so fluid it was like it was staged. Gathering the thin body in his arms.

Too thin, too light, too limp-

The loving siren wrapped his waves around the poor butterfly, cradling the other as to not aggravate the bleeding heart. Since the vault was no more, tears flowed freely after being bottled up for so long. A hand brushed away one of the golden tears, ignoring how much it burned his casing. When the choking picked up in volume Moon just held him closer, his own sobs working their way out of him.

“S-shhh. Shh…” he pulled back the little butterfly's hood to kiss his forehead, gasping as he tried to take a breath. “Im sorry starlight, Im so so sorry.” silicone lips murmured into that forehead, making sure the kiss could last as long as it could. Preferably forever. 

Any last doubts in his mind were gone as the choking softened into whimpers, the wounded leaning into comfort with a pathetic sniffle. The way this Lunar melted into Moon was too real to be a simulation, somewhere out there, a Lunar was dying. What was clearly a slow, painful death. 

Even if this was a simulation, Moon would still hold him like this. Even if there was nothing else he could do, he'd still comfort every wave of pain until the bloody end. Taking in a deep breath, successful albeit with a shudder, Moon did what his heart told him to.

“You poor thing, so tired, aren't you…?” he started rocking so subconsciously lately he just let it happen, waves rocking the ship ever so slightly. He didn't wait for a response to continue. “I bet you were a strong little star… So brave.”

Waved crashed against the shore of the little back, a large hand rubbed up and down as the siren sang. “But you don't have to be brave anymore, baby blue.” years worth of affection and love was pouring out of him along with tears. “You got Mama, you did it, you won. I don't care what anyone else thinks, you were the best of them all.”

Moon leaned back some to look the Lunar in the eyes, or what was left of them. He wasn't even sure if could still see, so he cupped a tear stricken cheek. Molten star power melting his own metal, he couldn't find it in himself to care about the pain. He had his priorities.

“It's… time for you-u to rest now, ok?” Even when the siren croaked his voice remained beautiful. “M’gonna settle you down for a nice, long nap. And when you wake up, I'll still be right here.”

The butterfly was never going to awaken, so Moon would not still be there. They both knew this, yet chose to ignore it. When the choking softened into weak sputters, they knew nap time was imminent.

The siren held his butterfly, or what was left of it. As sweet eyes started to lose their joyful light, it was time to say goodbye. He didn't know what possessed him to say his next words, but it just felt right.

“Goodnight, travel well.”

A siren crying was a tragically horrible yet glorious sound, a cross between singing out of sorrow and mournful screams. Moon never cried this hard in his entire life, all while clutching the lifeless body of his baby. 

When the body became unstable and drifted away like dust, he still sat there with his arms wrapped around nothing. Foolishly holding the air the Lunar once occupied, still pretending he was there. 

The siren screamed and screeched with everything he had, only softening when there was nothing more to scream about. Moon barely noticed the past four Lunars speaking in unison, taking the place of the robotic female voice of the machine. All had varying ranges of undertones, but they all had come to this single decision.

“Congratulations, you have passed.”