Chapter Text
Prologue
Of course, his history teacher is a horse and his father is Dionysus, the god of wine, who can’t remember Percy’s name.
Mr. Brun— Chiron looked at Percy empathetically, “Oh, Percy, this must be a lot for you to process.”
Percy scoffed, “Oh no. It’s fine. I mean, you’re a horse and my father won’t talk to me unless I get him a drink.”
“Well this all seems perfectly reasonable.”
Chiron frowned, “Oh, no, no, no. No, Mr. D is not your father.”
”I could be.”
“You’re not,” Chiron stressed. Percy wasn’t sure who to believe. Sure he trusted Mr. Brunner but apparently his favorite teacher was part horse this whole time which erased some of the built up trust he had.
The man Chiron called Mr. D rolled his eyes and waved his hands around in a way very reminiscent of Ugly Gabe when he drunkenly (and incorrectly) explained the rules to the latest card game his drinking buddies were playing.
”What does it matter, the boy—“
“Words have power. You would do well to remember this.” Chiron warned.
“As I was saying.” Mr. D grumbled, clearly paying Chiron no mind.
“The boy, Peter something, is my son and as his father I give him the honorable quest of getting me a bottle of wine. A good one,” Mr. D turned to look at Percy with a somber look on his face. “I haven’t had wine in ages and I’m the god of wine.”
Chiron shook his head in exasperation at the blatant ignorance to his warning, “You do realize that you have now claimed Percy.”
“So what, I’m not Peters father,” Dionysus shrugged.
”Legally you have claimed him,” Chiron explained as his voiced edged on irritation. “He is technically yours now.”
Dionysus’ carefree grin slid off his face, “what?”
”Wait, you mean this guy isn’t my father, but he just accidentally adopted me? How does that even happen? Who is my father then?” Percy exclaimed in frustration.
Chiron sighed, “Legally, Dionysus. Your other father won’t be happy about this, if it’s who I think it is.”
”Can’t kelp head just claim him back? We all know that’s who it is!” Dionysus butted in with the petulance of a five-year-old who missed nap time.
”Unfortunately, that’s not how this works. His other father can claim him, but he would have to…” Chiron paused, “share Percy’s parentage.”
”The wine guy and my absent father have to co-parent me?!”
Dionysus spit out his Diet Coke and started choking. Or laughing, Percy couldn’t tell.
Chiron sighed, “I suppose that’s an accurate description.”