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Since the beginnings of time, Kyoto, the town we all call home, has always maintained a delicate balance of power. While humans live in the city, tengu soar through the air and tanuki crawl the earth. They divide the town between themselves, each species careful to not encroach on the others domain. Today, we are taking a closer look at tanuki, those little beings that play a deep and interesting role in Japanese mythology. What are tanuki and what does it mean to be one? What role do tanuki play in today's society? How do they relate to humans and what can humans learn from them? These are the questions posed by today's show and we are trying our best to give you a sufficient answer. I am Henry Fontaine and I'll be your host this evening.
We meet Mr. Akadama in his cozy apartment in one of Kyoto's many historical buildings. Mr. Akadama is a venerable veteran of the teppu community and we are very curious what he has to say about Tanuki.
Henry Fontaine: So, Mr Akadama, as a long standing member of the Teppu community and as a man who has spent his life dealing with tanuki in various forms, what can you tell us about tanuki? What can we learn from them and their outlook on life?
Mr. Akadama: Absolutely nothing whatsoever.” *cough* “Nobody, whether human or teppu or other beast, can benefit a single bit from learning from their idiocy. In fact, if you meet one, I suggest that you do the absolute opposite of what they are doing.
Henry Fontaine: But didn't you get saved by a Tanuki once? Wasn't that a learning experience of sorts?
Mr. Akadama: *grumble grumble* I do not see it as being saved by a tanuki; I see it as being saved by a tengu in disguise. One could even go so far as to suggest he was an honorary tengu.
Henry Fontaine: Very well then, Mr. Akadama. We'll let you go back to your sake.
We continue our search for answers amongst our friends in the human community. Maybe one of Japan's many salarymen can enlighten us on the special bond between human and tanuki.
Henry Fontaine: Mr. Tanaka, as a middle aged Japanese man, you have surely seen and heard a lot of things. What are your own personal experiences with tanuki?
Tanaka Akio: Tanuki? I have no special experience with tanuki. They are cute little raccoon dogs. My daughter likes them.
Henry Fontaine: But surely there must be more to tanuki than being cute animals? What about their mystical properties?
Tanaka Akio: You mean the folklore? There is a lot about tanuki there. They say that the fox has seven disguises, but the tanuki has eight. Some say that tanuki will transform themselves into something and fool people that way. Also, they have very big balls. The balls are real, but I don't believe in the folklore and stuff. It's just animals with big balls.
Henry Fontaine: Thank you, Mr Tanaka, for your insightful commentary.
We'll leave Mr. Tanaka to talk to somebody who has had a close encounter with the little creatures.
Henry Fontaine: Mrs. Okada, what can you tell us about tanuki?
Okada Nanami: Tanuki? I'll tell you about tanuki. They are a nuisance all right. Little hell beasts that the government refuses to do anything about on the grounds of preserving nature. Hmpfh.
Very well, I'll tell you a little story about tanuki. This happened to my friend, Riko, and it is something that she never will forget. She still has nightmares, you know, after all this time.
One day, Riko was out shopping for dinner. It was in the middle of September, so they were having chestnuts with steamed rice. Riko is a very good cook, so she was very excited about the prospect of making chestnuts. Anyway, when she came back from the grocery store she had the greatest shock of her life. Somebody had entered her house.
Oh, it wasn't just someone, it was two giant, menacing beasts. Two plump tanuki, each with an unpleasant smirk on their face. They looked at poor Riko and looked at each other and took off. Poor Riko, she fell to her knees. The shock of what they had done was too much for her. You see, the tanuki had not only broken into her home, they had spray painted the walls with ominous messages.
TWINNERY IS WINNERY. TWO TANUKI IS MORE THAN ONE TANUKI. THE BOYS ARE BACK IN TOWN.
It took two days of cleaning up the mess and we had to call Mr. Omeda with the ladder, despite him being busy with his house in Okinawa. The police were useless as usual. Completely impotent. I remember back in the good old days when we had tanuki visits. Then we used to hunt and catch them and then grill them over a nice, warm fire and keep the crispy skin as snacks. Nowadays it's all animal preservation this, and endangered species that.
Henry Fontaine: A cautionary tale, perhaps? Thank you, Mrs. Okada.
But what have the tanuki to say for themselves? What are their opinions on what it is to be a tanuki? We meet up with one Yaichirou Shimogamo and a friend, to talk about what it means to be tanuki.
Henry Fontaine: So, Yaichirou, what do you have to say about being a tanuki?
Yaichirou Shimogamo: The tanuki is one of the most beloved animals in Japanese folklore and we are obviously very proud of that. There are many legends to live up to, legends of great trickster tanuki, legends of hardened warrior tanuki and legends of tanuki who drum their belly under the beams of moonlight.
I would like to take this opportunity to talk more about the special virtues of tanuki. Tanuki are said to have eight special virtues and we try very hard to live up to those.
Firstly, the straw hat on our head or the umbrella we always carry, symbolizes the virtue of readiness and preparation for bad weather. Just as you'll never meet a tanuki without an umbrella, you will never meet an unprepared tanuki. We are ready for pretty much everything.
The second virtue is the big belly that symbolizes level-headedness and composure.
Yasaburou Shimogamo: And eating a lot. Don't forget that.
Yaichirou: That's not important, Yasaburou.
Tanuki stand tall and broad in the face of adversity and will not topple down. The long tail of the tanuki is the third virtue and it stands for unflinching determination and perseverance. A tanuki will never give in and his tail will remain upright in all battles.
The note we carry is the fourth virtue, and it promises sincerity, honesty and truthfulness.
Yasaburou: It's more like a promise of paying that we never keep, really.
Yaichirou: Will you please shut up, Yasaburou. You are ruining my presentation.
Anyway, our big round eyes are the fifth virtue and it symbolizes awareness and perception. Tanuki have a way of looking at the world with discernment that rivals few.
The sixth virtue is the happy smiling face. It gives the impression of graciousness and kindness. Tanuki are gentle creatures, full of hospitality towards the world.
The sake flask is virtue number seven and it represents gratefulness and appreciation for our daily food.
Yasaburou: And our daily sake. Our daily sake is a very important feature of tanuki.
Yaichirou: Yasaburou.
Finally, there is the giant scrotum, the eighth virtue, that symbolizes expanding wealth or good luck with money.”
Yasaburou: We have big balls, that's all I am saying.
Henry Fontaine: We thank Yaichirou and friend profusely for their illuminating words on tanuki culture. Next up, we have a little fellow, who is ready to give his version of life as a tanuki. What is your name, little boy?
Yashirou Shimogamo: Yashirou.
Henry Fontaine: So how is tanuki life treating you, little one?
Yashirou: It's scary to be a tanuki. You can do whatever you like and go wherever you choose and transform into pretty much anything, but, then, you get scared and your tail comes out. I don't want to be found in someone's hotpot. It's scary.
Henry Fontaine: I am sure that everything will be fine, Yashirou. I promise I won't eat you.
Yashirou: I'm scared. You look hungry, mister.
Henry Fontaine: We will leave little Yashirou here and speak to the next tanuki. Your name is Yajirou, right? How do you feel about being a tanuki?
Yajirou: Not too great, I'm afraid. Mainly, I'm not a tanuki, but a frog. It is easier that way you see. People have so much demands on tanuki. We should be able to transform 48 times before midnight, live up to the size of our balls, integrate into and be productive members of tanuki society. It's giving me a headache just to think about it. When you are a frog, you just sit there in your well and you don't have to integrate and interact on somebody else's demands. You can just stare at the well and say quack now and then.
Henry Fontaine: That is certainly an interesting aspect of tanuki culture and its demands, Yajirou. We have the young tanuki friend from before here, who would like to say a few words on tanuki culture. Your name is Yasaburou, right?
Yasaburou: Yes, Yasaburou Shimogamo. That's my name.
Henry Fontaine: What is that you wanted to say?
Yasaburou: Being a tanuki means being an idiot. The idiocy is running through my veins and reflected in our doings. The appearances we take are just different facets of our idiocy. If you take away the idiot part, you would no longer have the tanuki.
I could dress up like a human and go about my day like a human, comply with the social conventions of humanity and still, I would have the idiocy pounding in my blood and calling for me. I would suddenly feel compelled to do some idiotic stuff, because it's my nature. The appearance of a human would just be a mask, and when I lift it off, you can see the idiot underneath. And the idiot would be the true nature of the tanuki, the part that not 700 disguises can erase. And as a human, you see the idiot and you judge it, because that's what you humans do. But as a tanuki, the idiot is just a matter of fact, there is no negative judgement surrounding it. The idiot is a tanuki, and the tanuki is an idiot. And we are actually quite proud about that.
Henry Fontaine: Interesting indeed. Thank you, Yasaburou.
…
Wait a second. Your surname is Shimogamo, right? And the frog is also a Shimogamo? And the little kid? And the slightly pompous one? They are all named Shimogamo. Are you all related to each other? Are there no other tanuki around except members of the Shimogamo clan?
Yaichirou: Eh...
Yashirou: Um...
Yajirou: Eh, as a frog I feel that I have transcended the Shimogamo heritage somehow. I would like to state that
Yasaburou: Tanuki holiday. All the other tanuki are away. There was absolutely no force involved and they all left voluntarily.
Yaichirou: Yes, yes, the venerable tanuki holiday. Today is a very important day for tanuki and they all have business elsewhere.
Yasaburou: It is not like we tricked them to go away just to hijack the radio show with our own musings. It's nothing like that. It's the very important tanuki holiday for very important tanuki.
Henry Fontaine: You are not participating?
Yaichirou: Eh...
Yashirou: Um...
Yajirou: As a frog, I feel somewhat exempt from tanuki holidays.
Yasaburou: “We're not participating. Someone's gotta take care of the tanuki business in town. Call it idiocy if you will, but that is what it means to be a tanuki.”
Henry Fontaine: Very well then, we leave the tanuki to their doings and go and get some final words on tanuki from a lady of the streets of Gion. Your name is Suzuki Satomi, right?
Benten: It's Benten.
Henry Fontaine: Well, Miss Benten, what are your impressions of tanuki?
Benten: Tanuki? They taste rather sweet. I've known a few.
...
Did you know that they can transform into pretty much everything and always carry an umbrella when you need it? Compared to humans they're interesting and intense. There are very few things that a tanuki cannot do. In fact, I think that humans would improve slightly if they tried to be more like them.
Henry Fontaine: And so concludes the Tanuki Special on Eigokyo Channel. Be sure to tune in next week for more enticing questions! What are tengu wings made of and how do they fly? Can humans survive on a diet solely composed of umeboshi and rice? Tune in to the Eigokyo Channel and find out. I am Henry Fontaine and this has been my pleasure.